I’ve got nothing.

At the Walden Pointe Apartment Homes in Raleigh, the phrase love thy neighbor probably does not apply to what happened Sunday inside a unit at 4126 Yellow Birch.

Anthony Miller has lived in this apartment community for three years. Miller said, “That’s strange and different. That’s really, really bold.”

Miller is talking about how a woman who lives here came home to find her apartment door kicked in and her home had been cleaned out. The burglary victim went next door to ask if anyone had seen anything and got the surprise of her life. Memphis police say she saw Crystal Jones, 20, and Angela Pittman, 26, sitting on her stolen plaid couch. The woman’s glass and wrought iron dining room set, coffee table and desk were also in her neighbor’s apartment.

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A group of teenage girls attempted to conjure up the spirits of lost souls by pulsating their pussies low and slow twerking on top of Grandma Pearl and the rest of the crew’s final resting place. I’ve got nothing.

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

I don’t fancy scary movies. Never have, never will. Waking up drenched in sweat with my heart pounding through my chest like a cartoon character is not my idea of a pleasant night cap. Whenever theatrical trailers for the latest horror films are presented on television I dart my eyes away from the screen with the same swiftness that Al Reynolds displayed on his wedding night when Star Jones shimmed to their bed post wearing only a see through silk robe and devilish grin.

So I don’t know why I even fucked with this to begin with.

After reading comments for the better part of the day about H-Town and Jodeci’s video for “Knockin’ Your Heels Off” I finally mustered up enough courage to sit through 4:50 of pure bump n’ grind self-inflicted torture. After Cheddar  Bobbing myself inside this R&B zombie land  I can confidently tell you that I would rather participate in the Suicide Hot Wing Challenge while watching Master P’s new show with Cassie and Ashanti performing an accapella duet of “Ave Marie” in a megaphone than sit through this shit again.

Sexually suggestive pelvis movements and song lyrics have never made me rethink celibacy so much. If Rome attempts a comeback next year, its over for this website.

Puff wants us to walk to Brooklyn and bring him back a cheesecake [1] game proper.

Junior’s restaurant is facing Health Department violations after a mouse was photographed enjoying some down time inside a cheesecake display over the weekend. Twitter was down and he was bored, obviously. Junior’s owner says he took immediate action as soon as he was made aware of what he calls an alleged isolated incident but you know that momofuka is lying. It’s the only time somebody was able to get proof!

Visitors to Junior’s Brooklyn spot had mixed feelings about the alleged furry cheesecake fan.

“That’s disgusting. Now I’m not eating this cheesecake I was going to bring home for dessert,” said Star Smith, 21, a retail worker from Bushwick. “It’ll be a while before I go back.”

Other loyal customers took the allegations in stride.

“This is New York City, and there are rats and roaches everywhere,” said Nyree Black, 34, of Flatbush, who has been coming to Junior’s for 20 years.

“I’ll be back. It happens.” [source]

Nyree Black is most definitely your cousin.

[1] A free slice to whoever can tell me which member of Da Band yelled that into their cell phone before making that infamous exodus to BK.

Your cousins in Australia are on some other shit. The Jackson Jive were such a big hit when they made their debut appearance on the show Hey Hey It’s Saturday that the ensemble decided to come back 20 years later for more black face shucking and shenanigans.

Harry Connick Jr., who performed earlier in the evening and was invited as a guest judge, wasn’t feeling the offensive brand of entertainment at all.

“I just wanted to say on behalf of my country, I know it was done humorously, but we’ve spent so much time trying to not make black people look like buffoons, that when we see something like that, we take it really to heart. I know it was in good fun, and the last thing I want to do is take this show to a down level—because you know how much I love this show and this country – - but I feel like I’m at home here, and if I knew that was going to be part of the show, I probably – - I definitely wouldn’t have done it.”

[Clip via Dlisted]

Six Flags Cans Steve McNair Skeleton Plans

Skeletons dressed and positioned to resemble ex-NFL quarterback Steve McNair and his mistress were part of the display. A promo video for the “Halloween Haunt” shows McNair sitting up on a couch with Kazemi lying across his lap. There is a hole in the top of McNair’s football helmet.

E-mails flooded Channel 4’s inbox expressing a distaste for the display. Channel 4 e-mailed the park and received an answer late Wednesday.

“When the gates open for the start of our Halloween Haunt event on Friday,” said park spokesman Don Helbig, “park visitors will not find a depiction of Steve McNair in any scenes.”

Thursday, the park released another statement, saying, “Kings Island has removed the celebrity scene from its Halloween Haunt event. We were not intending to be distasteful, and we apologize if we offended anyone.”

Kazemi fatally shot McNair before killing herself July 4 in Nashville.

Other celebrities included in the display were Michael Jackson in pajamas, Health Ledger with pill bottles and Sonny Bono on skis. [source]

Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

How the fuck do we suppose to keep the peace? Baby I swear its deja vu.

The mother of a 2-year-old was “shocked” when a woman picked up her toddler on Tuesday, bent him over her knee and spanked him inside a Salvation Army store on Clay Street after he apparently did something to annoy the woman.

“She was down there, trying to tell me what I should do and how I should act with my son,” Donnay Jones said Wednesday afternoon from her home in the West End. “I was sitting there – shocked – thinking, ‘Did she really just do that?’”

Gloria Ballard, 43, also of the West End, was arrested on an assault charge in the Tuesday incident. She appeared in court Wednesday, asked for a public defender and a plea of not guilty was entered for her. She was also ordered to stay away from the 2-year-old Sean Goode and his mother.

Outside court, Ballard denied wrongdoing and said she gave the boy a hug and gently patted his backside because he was upset.

Jones said her son got spanked after Ballard told her she should make him behave.

“I could have put my hands on her for doing that to my son, but something told me not to put my hands on that lady,” Jones said. “I think I did the right thing to press charges.”

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