Life is full of things that just don’t make any sense and Ciara’s new wig is one of them. Don’t get me wrong, as a junior wig crypt overseer I love the style and cut but it just doesn’t fit her and makes her look older. But if she wants to look haggardly I’m all in. I’m just over people referring to this as a hair cut. Call it what the fuck it is, one of Frankie ’s wigs that got knocked behind her head board by Mon.

Much like her other honorary creole DC3 sister Michelle Williams is trying to being great on her own over in the UK. After appearing in musicals Aida and The Color Purple over here in the Home of Synthetic Lace Fronts, she is heading to London’s West End for a six-week stint as Roxie Hart in Chicago. Get to the money! You already know the wig crypt has felt this recession twice.

Lorrell Robinson better not let Papa Joe 2.0 get wind of her comments about The Precious Blood of the Lamb not being the only one able to produce out a hit record, though. He will snatch her visa and have her cleaning crawfish in no time.

Take a look at more pictures from Michelle’s opening night after the jump.

Don’t go gently into the light! Raven Symone and her massive tittay cannons were among the crowd at the Kanye West S.H.O.W.S Up benefit reception and performance in Chicago on Thursday. This is the first major event for the Kanye West Foundation, founded by the late Dr. Donda West, since its creation in 2005.

Michelle Williams, who managed to escape from the wig crypt for one night only to watch Kanye Omari [say it like you mean it!] in all his splendor.

Michael Jackson is jealous right now. Look at all those virgin caucasian boys.

Make no mistakes about it, Seaborn isn’t a hair stylist he is a master craftsman! He takes otherwise beautiful women and turn them into his personal puppets for satan. A man after my heart! It’s going to take me a little time to compile all of my favorite styles from him for Crunkland but here are a couple of videos to get you through the drought!

The Blood of the Lamb did the unthinkable by giving a glimpse into life as a child in the wig crypt. The soul of Granny Agnes Dereon is not pleased.

She tells Glamour magazine that she went through an “ugly” stage as a tween and insists that at one point she was so chubby that it took the entire Killer Knowles Klan to help squeeze her into jeans.

“When I was around 10 or 11 my mother gave me this really ugly haircut and I was really chubby. So chubby that my family used to all lie me down flat so that they could zip up my jeans. It would take four of them and I would lie there on the bed while they all got to work on it.”

She also recently described herself as a “gangster” when it comes to business.

The more you talk the more you irking us. And that’s a direct quote from your husband.

“I am a professional person so I don’t really get too gangster,” she said. “But I am a businesswoman and I can get quite gangster. When I have to, in my own way, I can turn on that mean gangster side of me.”

[Danger kitty picture via the House of Love Muffins!]

I’m not sure if Sir Enna Serena and Kizzy were in Miami partying it up together but the two pals were both spotted over the weekend enjoying the night life. I’m just happy that Kizzy has escaped from the clutches of the wig crypt unscathed and cheerful . . .  this time. Let’s just hope that Pap Knowles didn’t cancel her virgin bayou remy hair employee discount card.

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As apart of his punishment for spiking the punch at Solange’s last BBQ [I follow that ass on Twitter] Baby Daniel was forced to film a commercial for the Nintendo “Rhythm Heaven” game with Tee Tee. Feel free to bob your head to imaginary music at the 0:48 mark. I know I did.

As my friend in the head Yeti from WooHah pointed out it looks like the production crew is teaching Beyaki how to use the DS for the first time. Girl, you catch on so quick!

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

SouthernGyrl is 100 percent correct. Train up a child in the way she should go [all the way down to the beauty supply store] and when she is old, she will not depart from it.

Operated completely under Baby Daniel’s iron fist Baby Bangs is the children’s division of the wig crypt. The wiglet / headband  is advertised as “for the girl who has everything — but hair!”

For this I weep. And you thought that baby stilletto pumps in the club was the ultimate. What’s your verdict?

Kizzy Rowland will co-host a new reality competition titled The Fashion Show with fashion designer / tang enthusiastic Isaac Mizrah for Bravo.

I know, I know. That makes as much sense as Nicole Richie [congratulations, BTW] being a judge on Iron Chef. Chick willingly allowed Mama Tina to play dress up with her for all these years before she came to her senses.

I thought the wig crypt had went to hell in a House of Dereon pic-a-nic basket when Michelle was on RuPaul’s Drag Race trying to tell the kids about themselves but this?

On The Fashion Show professional designers will compete in challenges that will be judged by professionals in the fashion world as well as by the studio audience. The ultimate prize is having the winner’s designs sold by a major retail outlet. That’s right girls, coming to Ross Dress For Less near you soon!

Before I get started I just want to say that I’ve been wanting to use this raw emotion filled picture of Solange for a while. Now that the opportunity has presented itself I couldn’t help but jump at it. Oh, and because I care deeply for Kid Creole of course.

Solange was rushed to the emergency room yesterday after fainting at an airport on her way home from Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. The culprit? Nyquil.

“Woke up to 8 random people over me, laid out on the floor in baggage claim!” Knowles posted on her Twitter page early this morning. “Guess I passed out! Scary. Hooked up to IV now. Apparently I’m super dehydrated.”Knowles started to feel loopy when she tried to get some sleep by downing cough medicine. “I took a nyquil and i think maybe im getting high off it because im not sleeping,” she wrote, adding later, “everythings movvvvviinnngg slooooowww, lol.”

She was released from the hospital after a second round of IV and a visit from her mother, Tina. “My mom is the best. LOL,” Knowles wrote. “She’s like, ain’t nothing wrong with this girl, she need some water and rest…Pull up the car! LOL.”

Mama Tina keeps things in line, baby! There are wigs to be made! Being dehydrated and having low blood pressure its no excuse for missing unnecessary days from the wig crypt. Still, let Solo tell it she is a modern Etta James for surviving this shit.