The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse showed their asses this morning via TMZ’s descriptive report of a 2Pac sex tape surfacing out of nowhere. Dive into the salacious tea:

A five-minute sex tape showing Tupac receiving oral sex while rapping and dancing has surfaced … and TMZ has seen it.

The tape, shot in 1991, begins with a bunch of groupies in a living room during a house party. Tupac walks into the room with his pants down to his ankles, his shirt off … sporting several chains.

Tupac — whose head is shaved — pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac’s is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips.

And it gets even better. As the woman services Tupac, who is holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around Money B, continues singing and dancing . . . and the woman never stops.

As the tape ends it appears he’s ready to begin sexual intercourse. It’s unclear if there’s another tape.

We’ve learned the person in possession of the tape is making plans to release it.

One thing’s for sure … Tupac was a multi-tasker.

I guess people are expecting the recession to last even after the rapture. Taking note from the hustlers and grinders, atheists are even getting into the money making game. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is an atheist-centered organization that will take care of your pets when Jesus calls you home to be with Tupac and Biggie. Peep the official statement from their site:

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

My only problem is that atheism is the belief in no God. How can you be part of such an organization when you are making money from an “event” that is outside of your belief system? Chile, I guess.

The Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts in Atlanta held an all-star rent party benefit concert on Tuesday to celebrate the late rapper’s life. Great idea, terrible execution. Notable guests in attendance included host Mike Epps, Titty Boi, Lil’ Scrappy, Lil’ Scrappy’s mama’s deflated titties, Diamond, and D. Woods.

SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.

I thought I saw Hitman Sammie Sam wearing a dingy wife beater with a popsicle stick stuck to the front of it while I was scanning through photos but I guess I was tripping. This was a true “get these niggas off my lawn” moment in history.

Toya and Tiny didn’t even bother to break out their new Gucci and Louis Vuitton to attend the event and I don’t blame them. They have a reality show on BET now. ‘Nuff said! Check out Freddy O for more flicks from the night.

Well, why don’t you just take a look at this impressive guest list. The event was billed as a joint party between Diddy and Kobe Bryant but it doesn’t look like Vanessa’s personal shopper even bothered to show up. Since the event truthfully doesn’t seem like much to talk about let’s move on but stay in Mouf Breever territory.

Necole Bitchie got her cute lil’ paws on a review of former Bad Boy Recording artist Mark Curry’s book, Dancing With The Devil: How Puff Burned the Bad Boys of Hip Hop.  The tell-all gives readers an inside look at Puffy’s poisonous ways. Here’s an excerpt from the review:

[PAGE 79] Despite amazing record sales Mark Curry claims that Biggie resorted to selling dope and homemade duplicates of his cd from the trunk of his car just to earn spending money. [That's the same exact reason why Kizzy Rowland finally left the wig crypt, by the way. - - Fresh]

[Page 94] Jimmy Henchmen told Tupac “why you blaming Puffy and Biggie. Them n*ggas aint got nuthin to do with this shooting. Nobody came to rob you. They came to discipline you and that’s what happened.”

[Page 139] He writes that Puffy lured G Dep with a $350,000 signing advance and a 5 album deal. Puffy did not offer him any counseling on how to handle money. After he spent about 1/6th of the money he discovered taxes, production contracts and stipulations held up the rest of his money. In less than 6 months G Dep was broke, in debt to Puffy and lost himself to drugs. [Continue Reading]

I see you jockin’ Tasia Mae!

Your cousins showed up and showed out at the 2008 Ohio Hip Hop Music Awards earlier this month. Ozonemag.com photographer Malik Abdul was there to catch every second of the madness. I’m so jealous!

I’ve witnessed many gatherings of tragic negroids in my lifetime but nothing like this. This shit looked like a talent show at the Tupac Shakur School of Performing Arts in Brother Akil’s basement. Hit up the gallery for more flicks.

Faith Evans reminds me of that lady in church who always comes in smelling like all the food she prepared prior. Like if you were to hug her candied yam syrup would drip out.

But I digress.

In her new memoir titled Keep The Faith, Faith details her encounter with Tupac in a New York City hotel.

“You know, I love New York,” [Tupac] said. “But I’m not f*cking with New York right now.”

The air in the room seemed to get really thick all of a sudden. His demeanor had changed so quickly that I was truly afraid.

“Really?” I asked. “Why is that!”

“‘Cause n*ggas set me up that night. You know that right!”

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. He was staring at me like he thought I was the one who set him up.

“You don’t really believe that bullsh*I,” I said.

“I’m telling you … n*ggas set me up,” he said in a low voice.

“Look, Pac. I just need to get my check and then I have to go …”

“The situation with the money is like this,” he said. “If I give it to you, then you my b*tch.”

I got up and moved father away from where he was standing.

“I’m not anybody’s b*tch,” I said, trying to keep my voice even and steady.

“You Biggie’s bitch.”

I thought about how people always got sh*t wrong. He was probably thinking about the song “Me & My B*tch.” And I wasn’t with Big when he made that record.

“I’m his wife.”

“I though y’all broke up?” he asked

“We still married.”

“Whatever.”

“Look,” I said. “You hired me to do a song, I did it. I want my money and that’s it.”

“Oh word, it’s like that? You just want your money?”

“You told me it wouldn’t be a problem,” I said. “The only reason I came up here is because you said …”

“So you not trying to suck my d*ck?”

“What!” I screamed. “What are you talking about!”

Tupac raised his voice. “You know you want to suck my d*ck, b*tch! Don’t f*cking lie.” I burst into tears and grabbed my phone. “I have to get out of here.”

Tupac kept going. He was making no sense, cursing and yelling. He said something about Big and the East Coast.

“But … but … I thought y’all was friends,” I said. At this point, I could barely speak clearly because I was crying so hard.

“Whatever. You know you wanna be my b*tch,” he said, before going into the bedroom area and slamming the door.

As soon as I got my things together to leave, Tupac came back to the common area.

“Where the f*ck are you going!” he asked.

“I don’t know what you thought,” I said. “I really don’t. But it’s not like that.”

Tupac nodded slowly, staring at me intently. He wasn’t ranting or screaming anymore. But he had this very sinister smile on his face. I kept looking around the room because I felt like something was about to happen to me. I wasn’t sure if these guys were coming back or what. But something was wrong.

“It’s not like that?” he kept saying over and over again and nodding. “Well ai-ight then, f*cking b*tch. You want to leave! Tell the driver to take you home. The limo is still out there. Get the f*ck out..”

I just hit that bitch with a bottle! “Attitude ’cause I’m wavy and you walking around nappy.” This is why we can’t advance as a people.

But I digress.

28-year-old Ryan Domenico was charged with substantial battery after he hit a man over the head with a drinking glass after he made negative comments about Tupac. And you cyber hip-hop stans thought you were really doing something by staying camped out overnight in the comment section.

According to police reports, a 24-year-old Wauwatosa man was sitting at the bar with his girlfriend when a song by Pac began to play on the jukebox. The man made a disapproving comment about the artist, causing Domenico to walk up to him and ask him what he had said.

The Wauwatosa man repeated the comment and Domenico allegedly responded by picking up a glass from the bar and smashing it on the other man’s head.

Afeni should be proud! Tupac’s “it’s fun to do hood rat stuff” legacy lives on.

There’s another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist.

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: “`Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. `Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”Keys, 27, said she’s read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck “to symbolize strength, power and killing ‘em dead,” according to an interview in the magazine’s May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: That the bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled “by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing.”Keys’ AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: “She wears what? That doesn’t sound like Alicia.” Keys’ publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.

Though she’s known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton “had the outlets our musicians have today, it’d be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself,” she said [source].

The Presidential Rap Up [Complex]

Buy yours today [Sean John]

Kills me every time [FourFour]

If you love Beyonce don’t click this [Stuff Black People Hate - - Thanks Cocoa Luv]

His music may make me want to commit suicide but Nelly is looking good [Necole Bitchie]

Turn on the news, everybody is fucking [Nova Slim]

I mean, you have to stay busy in jail doing something [Sterohyped]

Can I have an application to be Oprah’s best friend? [Juicy News]

Laila Ali is knocked up [People]

Have you checked in on Bryan Boy lately?

Got a juicy link you would like to share? Want to plug your own blog? Post it in the comment section!

Former All of Us actress LisaRaye McCoy-Misick is featured in the Fall 2007 issue of Monarch magazine. In her interview, the First Lady of Turks & Caicos Islands, who likens herself to Grace Kelly, revealed how she met her second husband, Premier Michael Misick and why she made a couple of sacrifices for the sake of her marriage. The former model met her current hubby when she attended the 2005 Trumpet Awards in Atlanta, Georgia. Michael was being honored with the Global Humanitarian of the Year award and made the first move by asking to be introduced to the beauty. And although LisaRaye (who says she always thought she’d marry an ‘in-shape god’…something that Michael indeed was not) says her attraction to Michael wasn’t love at first sight, he eventually won her over and the couple exchanged ‘I do’s’ in April of 2006.

Soon after her wedding, the actress found herself facing off with the producers of All of Us (which was canceled in the Spring of 2007) due to the fact that the duties of her new real role as the First Lady of Turks & Caicos Islands entailed her to be by her husband’s side during special engagements. At the time, these personal demands meant missing a practice read here and there forcing the producers to have to work around her schedule or stop production altogether. LisaRaye also took it upon herself to shelve her brand new lingerie line, Lux & Romance lingerie which catered to women with curves. Engaged to the Premiere (whose status is equaled to our President) in the same year, she quickly felt that her new line was not exactly the right way a First Lady should represent herself. In February 2005, she decided to drop the line and focue more on learning about her husband’s position and culture. LisaRaye says, ‘It can be difficult at times with so much to learn. Imagine just a few weeks ago, me and my husband were having dinner with Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace. It’s a lot to adjust to.’

These days, LisaRaye spends her time organizing events for the Turks and Caicos International Film Festival, which she created with fellow actress Jasmine Guy in October of 2006. When she’s in the States, she’s hard at work on one of her latest business ventures: RayeDiant Jewel, a talent pageant she created for young girls. A mix of American Idol meets The Gong Show, LisaRaye teaches the girls that they are all ‘diamonds’ in the rough. The actress can also be seen on tour in the stageplay, Gossip, Lies and Secrets with Blu Cantrell, Kenya Moore, Malik Yoba and Christopher Williams. But that’s not all. Since dropping the lingerie line, she has started a swimsuit line that she says will fit perfectly in both worlds of her life. ‘Just think of me as the new millennium First Lady.’