Performing at the opening of the FIFA World Cup Kick-off Celebration Concert in South Africa on Thursday, Alicia Keys was able to give Mashonda another heart attack by showing off her ever-growing baby bump. Playing her piano for freedom, Ms. New Beatz  performed a few songs from her catalog.

Anyway, let me wrap this up. I can only do so many witty quips about Mashonda before I bore us into a 7-year coma.

Fresh,

Today I came across a news story on Russian music website that claims Swizz Beatz has a two year old daughter with Moscow born singer Jahna Sebastian.

The two allegedly met at London famous club Ministry of Sound in August 2007. All her attempts to contact Swizz Beatz after realizing she was pregnant failed. So she did it with the help of her lawyers.

In July 2009 Swizz Beatz had to come to London to take the paternity test (it is reported that Alicia was there as well) and the results proved that he was indeed the father.

The singer who now resides in London addresses that since then she gets no financial support from her famous baby daddy.

Now what seems really suspicious about this whole news story is that she “didn’t want to sell the information to tabloids because she didn’t want to spoil her reputation and wanted to protect her child” however she gave it out for free to a Russian news source…

In my opinion Swizz has always seemed like a very proud papa, so I am going to need more people to stand behind this before I assist Mashonda in plotting her next move. Besides, there are much more important matters at hand.

Still, the little one photographed above does bare a little resemblance [and that's not saying much] to Swizz’s youngest child. What do you think?

After months of sending Mashonda straight to voicemail, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats made their first public red carpet appearance together at Gotham Magazine’s Annual Gala in New York City on Monday night. Walking hand in hand, the Louboutin-decked couple were extra smiley for the shutterbugs before heading inside.

And they lived happily ever after. End scene.

That is until the former Mrs. Swizzy’s lands her very own  forum for shade throwing – - a VH1 reality sitcom about “starting over.” Cue the dramatics!

Instead of clutching on to oranges for dear life, Swizz Beats and Alicia Keys [who is celebrating her 29th birthday today] went straight for the gusto while spending some QT with one another over the weekend. They still look like siblings in my humble opinion but I’m sure they will continue to grow on me.

Alicia [who looks a little Oompa in the face, no?] stuck close to her bodyguard while Fivel played the background during a trip to Christian Louboutin in New York City’s West Village on Thursday. They could pass for brother and sister if you ask me but that’s not stopping them from going bump in the night.

After hinting about their relationship in song lyrics and on social networks, it seems as if Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats are finally becoming comfortable enough to be seen out in public together. Let’s not all clap at once.

While the rest of the world was still coming to grips about Drake’s bum career knee, former secret lovers and present whores for propaganda [my loyalty rests with Mashonda, okay?] Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats tweeted a ribbon in the sky for their love.

Spotted at Rap Radar

Bobby Brown always seems to add to my journalistic credibility in one form or another. I really should cut the man a check or at least allow him to sleep on my sofa for one night.

But I digress.

After bragging about Alicia Keys cooking him breakfast butt ass naked on the remix of “Best I Ever Had” Swizz Beats has requested a court-approved gag order in the divorce proceedings with the beautiful and talented [ahem] Mashonda.

You bitch you.

Mashonda is arguably one of the supreme vocalist of our generation. She sung the hook on “Get No Better” and some random song on La Bella Mafia. That’s no way to treat a queen of that magnitude.

Mashonda’s lawyer Bernard Clair can’t believe that shit either. He tells the New York Post: “the issues with the divorce and child support were “flying under the radar until Mr. Dean and Alicia Keys went public about their long-term affair and he released a song implying that he likes it when Alicia serves him breakfast naked. Now that Mr. Dean’s questionable conduct is being scrutinized, he suddenly wants a gag order and the media to be locked out?”

It was all good a year ago. Oh well, this would make for a good Tyler Perry movie. From The House of Rhymes With Snitch:

Ok, so remember last year when Alicia Keys started dating married [with a kid] music producer Swizz Beats and threw that birthday party for him at the Guggenheim and all hell broke lose between him and his wife? [click here, here, and here if you don't] Well, Swizz just laced a track for Drake. You know, ‘Wheelchair Jimmy’ from DeGrassi Jr. High? He’s a rapper now.

Anyway, on Swizzy’s verse he says:

“Wake up in the morning and my baby cooked me breakfast
Ass naked wearing nothing on, but a necklace
yeah she be shining on ya
She be gleamin on ya
She be SINGING on ya
I know you love her don’t ya
And we be travellin our ass off
You can see the proof it’s all in our passports
Yeah, she say she wanna treat me like a king
I get big gifts the money aint a damn thing
She gave me a PARTY AT THE GUGGENHEIM
Y’all should’ve seen them haters they lost their mind
only God can judge me
What’s next? The Ring? the baby? She really loves me!”