Solange At The 2009 Essence Music Festival

She’s Known As Solace Knowles Today

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Leave it to Solange to provide some stability around this muthafucka while the rest of the universe is in shambles. Shambles I tell ya! Basement Baby decided to say fuck the niggatry industry [her words not mine] and served the kids at San Fransisco’s Pride Festival instead while wearing an outfit that would make any certified glowstick carrier elated.

Kid Creole, we speak your name.

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Day Late,Dollar Short: Swangin’ Basement Baby

88461433 Day Late,Dollar Short: Swangin Basement Baby

I had a good joke comparing Solange swinging in a hammock to a bag of Zatarain’s Crawfish, Shrimp & Crab Boil In A Bag on deck for yesterday but I decided to lay low until the head subsided since I didn’t want Mama Tina sending me another roots box. Solo escaped from the Knowles Compound last week to attend the Bonnaroo Music And Arts Festival. She looked right at home among all the “different” artists, I guess.

Girl, You Can Turn The World On With Your Smile

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Cue the theme music from The Mary Tyler Moore Show and walk the fuck off.

Diva may be the female version of a hustla to some but if you ask me RuPaul is a better representation of the word. He was rocking lace fronts way back when Beyaki and Solange were trading roots dolls like Pokemon cards in a modest apartment during the time Mama Tina split from Mathew’s clutches. I watched a special on E! about the Crawfish Queen and only God can judge me for my extensive knowledge of her life, thank you.

But I digress. His nekid ankles are rather feverish. You may want to call out all next week in order to have enough time to recover.

Quick Flicks: Solange Performs The Alphabet Song

87975607.thumbnail Quick Flicks: Solange Performs The Alphabet Song

Solange attempted to sell a two more copies of Soledad And The Martin Luther King Blvd. Dreams by performing at Queen Creole’s tour after-party in London earlier this week. Press on my sista for your work is never done!

Now go mop up that spill.

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Casket Sharp: Your White Cousins At The Costume Institute Gala Edition

86374509.thumbnail Casket Sharp: Your White Cousins At The Costume Institute Gala Edition 16764796kdanick55200983412am.thumbnail Casket Sharp: Your White Cousins At The Costume Institute Gala Edition

As long as it means they are going to end up on a best / worst dressed lists, you can’t tell these hoes nothing. We call it being a whore for propaganda, they call it publicity. Why do you insist on assisting the devil?

This shit right here is why Madonna is having issues adopting little African children. You think you can just roll up to the village and try to put a child on layaway after showing up in public dressed in Solange’s Easter speech outfit? You ain’t Grace Jones, it doesn’t work like that. Take that shit back to the Kabalah Center.  I would have better luck trying to put a Honduran orphan on credit wear a pair of pink jellies and a Platinum Fubu hockey jersey.

I don’t know who the hell Leighton Meister is and I would rather not Google her after this. Good day!

Squint your eyes ever so gently and get you an additional  piece of these god awful get ups after the jump.

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