Honestly, I’m trying not to laugh at the misfortune of all the aunties in the world with ambitions of turning the concept behind Jodeci’s ‘The Show, the After Party, the Hotel’ album into an actual Facebook photo album documenting their weekend hoe shit — but my Go-Go-Gadget Give A Fuck won’t allow it. It’s not my issue that they are out here trying to give up the ass to all of the guests that appeared on ‘The Magic Hour’ during its run and coming up empty every single time.
R. Kelly is in hot water with fans (read: aunties) in Monroe, Louisiana after they waited until 1am for what turned out to be a lip synching impersonator performing in his place. There goes that silent wet fart that has been waiting to seep out all day.
Lady Gaga announced that she has yet another track coming out in advance of her new album ‘Artpop’ by posting the promotional artwork for “Do What U Want” — her collaboration with R. Kelly – on Instagram.
In the flick, Gaga faces away from the camera, showing off those yams Kevin Hart raved about at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards in a blue, pink and black thong. I’m anticipating Danity Kane to deliver an onslaught of vulvas shot in the Valencia filter via Myspace bulletin next week.
The full song will be available on Monday (October 21) at 12:01 a.m. Listen to a snippet after the jump.
R. Kelly was dressed to defend himself against jezebels waiting to receive 12 Play at a pool party held at Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend. The singer put on the whole armor of God (or in this case a gigantic Jesus piece) to stay focused on the task at hand — his music.
I bet you music loving teenage girls from solid two parent homes didn’t see this surprise collaboration coming. We can all strike off R. Kelly and Phoenix performing a live mash-up of “Ignition (Remix)” and “1901″ at Coachella from our bucket lists now.
A petition has been launched requesting that the White House adopt R. Kelly’s timeless opus to the freakin’ weekend as the country’s new national anthem.
I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free.
S.R. of Wilmington, North Carolina created the petition to replace The Star Spangled Banner with the “Ignition (Remix)” on the song’s 10th birthday, and it already has more than 4,000 signatures from people asking Obama to “recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen.”
“America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814,” says the petition. “Since then, we have realised that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and – perhaps most importantly – that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody.”
R. Kelly covered his pedophile phalanges in a pair of red leather gloves at the ‘Trapped In The Closet’ New York screening last week. Shit gets real after ‘Law & Order: SVU’ marathons. Flush the semen and leave no finger prints!
Subtract 40 minutes from your life by watching the latest volume of ‘Trapped In The Closet’ after the jump!