Why The Internet Was Created: Watch This Toothless Man Sing “Bump ‘N Grind”

One monkey don’t stop no show.

According to internet legend, your cousins were out selling weed in the projects enjoying their afternoon when they stumbled across a local that had been practicing to become R. Kelly’s replacement on his Black Panties Tour in the event that Kellz decides to skip out on an upcoming court date

Save your best “get chose at a concert outfit from Rainbow” for another day. Enjoy this show for free. – @LitaSoFli

And Jesus Wept: R. Kelly Facing Potential Jail Time For Blowing Off Child Support

r kelly And Jesus Wept: R. Kelly Facing Potential Jail Time For Blowing Off Child Support

According to Page Six, R. Kelly faces the grim reality of someone sticking their key inside his ignition against his free will if he fails to show up for a child support hearing on March 27. A judge could sentence the “Black Panties” singer (anytime I can throw that in there, I do) 30 days to six months in the slammer since didn’t bother showing up at a previous hearing in November.

You n-words are going to learn one day.

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How Dreadful: Fans Request Refund After Alleged R. Kelly Impersonator Performs

185193571 How Dreadful: Fans Request Refund After Alleged R. Kelly Impersonator Performs

Honestly, I’m trying not to laugh at the misfortune of all the aunties in the world with ambitions of turning the concept behind Jodeci’s ‘The Show, the After Party, the Hotel’ album into an actual Facebook photo album documenting their weekend hoe shit — but my Go-Go-Gadget Give A Fuck won’t allow it. It’s not my issue that they are out here trying to give up the ass to all of the guests that appeared on ‘The Magic Hour’ during its run and coming up empty every single time.

R. Kelly is in hot water with fans (read: aunties) in Monroe, Louisiana after they waited until 1am for what turned out to be a lip synching impersonator performing in his place. There goes that silent wet fart that has been waiting to seep out all day.

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Lady Gaga Teases R. Kelly Collaboration By Showing Off Her Yams

cakes Lady Gaga Teases R. Kelly Collaboration By Showing Off Her Yams

Lady Gaga announced that she has yet another track coming out in advance of her new album ‘Artpop’ by posting the promotional artwork for “Do What U Want” — her collaboration with R. Kelly – on Instagram.

In the flick, Gaga faces away from the camera, showing off those yams Kevin Hart raved about at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards in a blue, pink and black thong. I’m anticipating Danity Kane to deliver an onslaught of vulvas shot in the Valencia filter via Myspace bulletin next week.

The full song will be available on Monday (October 21) at 12:01 a.m. Listen to a snippet after the jump.

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R. Kelly Brings Jesus With Him To Las Vegas

rkelly1 R. Kelly Brings Jesus With Him To Las Vegas

R. Kelly was dressed to defend himself against jezebels waiting to receive 12 Play at a pool party held at Rehab at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas over the weekend. The singer put on the whole armor of God (or in this case a gigantic Jesus piece) to stay focused on the task at hand — his music.

rkelly2 R. Kelly Brings Jesus With Him To Las Vegas

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Yes, You Care: R. Kelly Performed A Hipster-Friendly Version Of ‘Ignition (Remix)’ At Coachella

coachella1 Yes, You Care: R. Kelly Performed A Hipster Friendly Version Of Ignition (Remix) At Coachella

I bet you music loving teenage girls from solid two parent homes didn’t see this surprise collaboration coming. We can all strike off R. Kelly and Phoenix performing a live mash-up of “Ignition (Remix)” and “1901″ at Coachella from our bucket lists now.

coachella2 Yes, You Care: R. Kelly Performed A Hipster Friendly Version Of Ignition (Remix) At Coachella

RELATED: Do Your Part To Change The National Anthem To R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)”

Watch Kelz make beautiful music with the Grammy-winning French indie rock band (with a dash of “I’m A Flirt” for good measure!) inside.

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