Question of The Day: How Should Kordell Stewart Raise Funds To Pay Off His Tax Debt?

kordell stewart zps6ad068b6 Question of The Day: How Should Kordell Stewart Raise Funds To Pay Off His Tax Debt?

I usually keep a Trina lyric referencing the financial security that selling pussy provides tucked away in my knock-off designer handbag to motivate other bad bitches but I’m fresh out today. That sucks because Kordell Stewart could use a few words of encouragement right now.

According to reports, the former NFL star who now spends the quiet years of his retirement canvasing the men’s bathroom at Bulldog’s in Atlanta for new players to lay on top of inside the huddle has to pay the state of Georgia $13,240.88 after interest, penalties and other fees for failing to pay taxes in 2012.

As you probably already know, the government is the pettiest, messiest bitch you’ll ever meet in these streets.

It has placed a levy on all of his assets and property, which it will seize and sell if he doesn’t fork over the moola in a timely manner to collect the money they’re owed.

It would rip my heart to shreds to see my sorority sister’s assortment of Bedroom Kandi dildos and Herve Leger bandage dress collection up on the auction block.

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Porsha Stewart Responds To Miss Lawrence’s Read (Audio)

porsha miss lawrence zps4e05a71b Porsha Stewart Responds To Miss Lawrences Read (Audio)

Jesus, hold my mule pumps.

In case you missed it, earlier this month ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ and ‘Fashion Queens’ zestlemen Miss Lawrence Washington read Porsha Stewart a sermon from the mountain top over a video featuring the youngest housewife (then evangelist) preaching about saving gays and lesbians.

“Ratchet beyond ratchet,” said Miss Lawrence during his trip to the Russ Parr Morning Show. “Tacky. She’s ratchet. She can’t take it. Wish she could, but never will.”

He continued: “Those are her beliefs granted, she is entitled to her beliefs. But if you want to hold true to your beliefs, don’t come over to the LGBT community or gay girls and want us to help you with your hair or want to use your gay slang or want to carry us like your purse. You stay over there and you stick to your beliefs.”

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In Case You Missed It: Kenya Moore Calls 911 After Porsha Stewart Beatdown

kenya mad zpsd13fa3a7 In Case You Missed It: Kenya Moore Calls 911 After Porsha Stewart Beatdown

porsha stewart zpscb15beeb In Case You Missed It: Kenya Moore Calls 911 After Porsha Stewart Beatdown

Last week, ‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ gathered for their reunion special and word on the curb is that Porsha Stewart took it back to her “Some Cut” video vixen days and gave Kenya Moore an A-Town Stomp.

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After the scuffle, Kenya dialed 911 to report that Porsha had served her face a two piece sans biscuit. “She hit me in my head and tried fighting me — hitting me,” Kenya told the operator. Mona Scott Young would be proud!

MORE ‘REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA’ NEWS

Listen to the call after the jump!

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Silly Rabbit, Stunts Are For Queens: Porsha Stewart Busted For Fake Relationship

porsha tamala jones zps490fc5c7 Silly Rabbit, Stunts Are For Queens: Porsha Stewart Busted For Fake Relationship

A Birkin bag like a gold medal to this bitch. — Meek Mill

Now that the matter of who retains ownership of the couple’s collection of tennis skirts and Bedroom Kandi products has been settled, Porsha Williams is back in the dating game.

The rumor mill was buzzing last week with the gossip that Porsha has been dating Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, son of President of Equatorial Guinea. Reports suggest that his father is one of Africa’s most brutal and corrupt rulers and has taken a large portion of the country’s oil wealth for himself while many of the nation’s citizens live in poverty. Mangue had supposedly been showering Porsha with expensive gifts for the last month, including a brand new Rolls Royces.

That is until Z-list actress Tamala Jones blew the cover on Porsha’s little PR stunt.

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Time To Downgrade From Malaysian To Beauty Supply Store Weave: Porsha Stewart Takes L In Divorce Settlement

porsha stewart zps92a1cc1b Time To Downgrade From Malaysian To Beauty Supply Store Weave: Porsha Stewart Takes L In Divorce Settlement

‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ star Porsha Stewart‘s spirit could probably benefit from complete renewal by reciting the lyrics from  “Don’t Trust No Nigga” by respected literary laureate Khia right about now.

According to legal documents obtained by TMZ – who I am still waiting to unearth freedom papers for Kim Zolciak’s assistant-friend-lap dog Sweetie — Porsha is walking away from her marriage to estranged husband Kordell Stewart with no house, no NFL retirement funds, no health insurance and no cash. She also has to pay her own credit card balances.

Porsha gets to keep the Mercedes, her engagement ring, and all of her other personal items.

Basically, her ass got the same severance package Birdman offered Juvenile, B.G., Turk, Mannie Fresh and every artist or producer that has ever decided to leave Cash Money Records.

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Video: Kordell Stewart Skips Adam4Adam, Meets With Matchmaker

kordell stewart Video: Kordell Stewart Skips Adam4Adam, Meets With Matchmaker

When the Grindr app fails to complete the mission at hand, it’s time to call in the professionals. Former ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ husband Kordell Stewart is looking to move past his failed marriage to Porsha Stewart by enlisting the help of a matchmaker in his attempt to find a new housewife.

Right off the bat Kordell — who was previously romantically linked to ‘Braxton Family Values’ star Towanda Braxton — cools rumors about his sexuality, telling the matchmaker that he’s only interested in women.

“Too many beautiful women in this world to be indulging in a sexual relationship with another man,” Kordell insisted. Insert your own reaction gif _______.

According to the former NFL star, one area that is not up for negotiation is that ass.

“An ass is mandatory,” he said. “The body has to have curves. We all want to be psychologically stimulated. My loins get to moving.” Insert your own reaction gif _______.

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