If you had a small village of mouths to feed while living in a constant state of paranoia that Uncle Sam could swoop in and snatch your reserves of raw shea butter away at any given moment, you too would be getting in where you fit in. One bank wire at a damn time.
I am going to skip over the obvious shade about the post-traumatic effects of island dick and accentuate the positives. Lauryn Hill was all smiles as she posed for pictures with fans backstage at the 21st Annual 9 Mile Music Festival and Food Drive held at the Miami-Dade County Fairgrounds on Saturday (January 16).
I see you pinning pictures from this post to your Icons To Emulate Through Fashion board on Pinterest, Solange.
How you gonna win when you ain’t right within? It seems like everyone’s favorite African Black Soap smelling singer, Lauryn Hill, couldn’t catch a break from your cousins at the IRS. She turned herself in yesterday at a minimum security prison to begin her three-month prison sentencein Connecticut yesterday for tax evasion.
Surprisingly the singer didn’t take the time out to tweet a goodbye or post a letter to her personal Tumblr but hey, my stay locked up ass cousins say that inmates get email and Facebook access in the pokey, so I await her social media return.
L. Boogie’s teen daughter Selah did take time out to post the following to her Twitter account: Fuck this government. Teach them young.
Where is Sister Mary Clarence when you need her? You see folks, island dick can only get you so far in life. Don’t let this become your fate.
I am a child of former slaves who had a system imposed on them. I had an economic system imposed on me . . . Someone did the math, and it came to around $600 million. And I sit here before you trying to figure out how to pay a tax debt? If that’s not like enough to slavery, I don’t know.
I need to take a long drag from her blunt and leave this backyard boogie alone. You don’t understand the ways I am going to flip the phrase ‘if that’s not like enough to slavery’ this season. Stay tuned!
Until there is a cure for Island Dick, I am making it my life’s mission to solicit prayers and cartons of Kools cigarettes in support of Lauryn Hill.
The 37-year-old was sentenced on Monday to three months in federal prison, three months in home confinement and a $60,000 fine for failing to file tax returns on more than $1.8 million in earnings between 2005 and 2007. Father, I stretch my hands to thee.
Her attorney Nathan Hochman said in an email that she recently paid more than $970,000 just ahead of her court appearances to satisfy state and federal tax liabilities. She still owes another $285,000 in interest and penalties. Ms. Hill must report to prison by July 8. It’s not clear where she’ll serve her sentence.
The next time you are at the post office and an employee asks you “Any stamps today?” just slowly nod your head.
Conspiracy theorists such as myself believe Lauryn Hill‘s troubles can be linked to one source: island dick fallout. I’ll let you decide for yourself if we are on target or not.
In new legal documents filed today, L. Boogie cites “very real threats” against her family as the reason she evaded her taxes for three years in a row.
The 37-year-old entertainer says she stopped paying taxes “when she withdrew from society at large due to what she perceived as manipulation and very real threats to herself and her family”, according to TMZ.
She pled guilty last summer to “intentionally and willingly” failing to file her returns from 2005 to 2007, and faces up to three years in jail and several thousand dollars in fines.
Despite her debt, she reportedly earned up to $1.8 million during that period. Indeed, everything is everything.
Ms. Hill is requesting probation prior to her April 22 sentencing where she faces a maximum of one year in prison and $100,000 in fines for each count.