How you gonna win when you ain’t right within? It seems like everyone’s favorite African Black Soap smelling singer, Lauryn Hill, couldn’t catch a break from your cousins at the IRS. She turned herself in yesterday at a minimum security prison to begin her three-month prison sentencein Connecticut yesterday for tax evasion.
Surprisingly the singer didn’t take the time out to tweet a goodbye or post a letter to her personal Tumblr but hey, my stay locked up ass cousins say that inmates get email and Facebook access in the pokey, so I await her social media return.
L. Boogie’s teen daughter Selah did take time out to post the following to her Twitter account: Fuck this government. Teach them young.
Where is Sister Mary Clarence when you need her? You see folks, island dick can only get you so far in life. Don’t let this become your fate.
I am a child of former slaves who had a system imposed on them. I had an economic system imposed on me . . . Someone did the math, and it came to around $600 million. And I sit here before you trying to figure out how to pay a tax debt? If that’s not like enough to slavery, I don’t know.
I need to take a long drag from her blunt and leave this backyard boogie alone. You don’t understand the ways I am going to flip the phrase ‘if that’s not like enough to slavery’ this season. Stay tuned!
Until there is a cure for Island Dick, I am making it my life’s mission to solicit prayers and cartons of Kools cigarettes in support of Lauryn Hill.
The 37-year-old was sentenced on Monday to three months in federal prison, three months in home confinement and a $60,000 fine for failing to file tax returns on more than $1.8 million in earnings between 2005 and 2007. Father, I stretch my hands to thee.
Her attorney Nathan Hochman said in an email that she recently paid more than $970,000 just ahead of her court appearances to satisfy state and federal tax liabilities. She still owes another $285,000 in interest and penalties. Ms. Hill must report to prison by July 8. It’s not clear where she’ll serve her sentence.
The next time you are at the post office and an employee asks you “Any stamps today?” just slowly nod your head.
Conspiracy theorists such as myself believe Lauryn Hill‘s troubles can be linked to one source: island dick fallout. I’ll let you decide for yourself if we are on target or not.
In new legal documents filed today, L. Boogie cites “very real threats” against her family as the reason she evaded her taxes for three years in a row.
The 37-year-old entertainer says she stopped paying taxes “when she withdrew from society at large due to what she perceived as manipulation and very real threats to herself and her family”, according to TMZ.
She pled guilty last summer to “intentionally and willingly” failing to file her returns from 2005 to 2007, and faces up to three years in jail and several thousand dollars in fines.
Despite her debt, she reportedly earned up to $1.8 million during that period. Indeed, everything is everything.
Ms. Hill is requesting probation prior to her April 22 sentencing where she faces a maximum of one year in prison and $100,000 in fines for each count.
Island Dick is ready to explain his side of the story. Rohan Marley admits that although his relationship with Lauryn Hill was far from perfect, both parties have vowed to remain good parents and amicable for the sake of their five children. Good stuff.
In a recent interview with UK publication The Voice, the son of reggae legend Bob Marley reflected on their romantic relationship that lasted more than a decade.
“[Our relationship] is good as in . . . in terms of being a mother and father to our children, it’s good,” says Marley, who is now engaged to Brazilain supermodel Isabeli Fontana. “It’s not as perfect as one might want it to be. It’s just the way the road went.”
Last night, T.I. and his megawatt smile hosted a listening session for his upcoming aptly titled album Trouble Man at New York City’s Engine Room Studios. My beloved trap version of Petunia the Pig was no present but as a consolation prize you can feast your eyes on all of the beauty she has to offer by staring at my Twitter background. Mad sexy, bruh!
If you ever find yourself standing next to Clifford The Small Red Dog and diminishing in his presence the time has officially arrived to start drinking Ensure with a splash of Hennessy. Rocking his most arguably hottest outfit this year, Wyclef also attended the session.
Clef is currently making headlines of his own after a juicy excerpt from his memoir “Purpose: An Immigrant’s Story” leaked, revealing that Lauryn Hill‘s first pregnancy contributed heavily to the abrupt breakup of the Fugees.
“It was important just to be honest,” Wyclef told MTV News. “I don’t think that I should’ve left it as a myth.”
In working to make the OWN Network relevant to younger audiences (read: your Facebook friends), Oprah‘s new formula of conducting high profile interviews with pop culture favorites has been a hit.
The Kardashians, Paris Jackson, Bobbi Kristina, 50 Cent, and most recently Rihanna have all nibbled crumpets with Lady O as she successfully gets them to spill tea all of their on ‘Oprah’s Next Chapter.’
Well, Lauryn Hill isn’t here for that!
On Sunday, one of Oprah’s followers on Twitter demanded that she get Lauryn Hill to appear on the show, with Poprah replying back “I tried. She said no.”
Until the IRS came for L Boogie for their coins, she had been semi-tucked away from spotlight quite content with raising little Marleys and saying to hell with music. So it’s no shocker that she turned down Oprah’s invitation to answer questions about topics she clearly cares nothing about.
Now if Oprah really want to get those ratings up she might want to enroll in T.R.U. University and get Dean 2 Chainz on the couch!
Per usual stunt queen behavior, Lauryn Hill was 40 minutes late for her performance at Bluesfest in Ottawa, Cana Tuesday night, scarcely avoiding breaking the city’s 11 p.m. noise curfew and aggrieving the festival’s tight schedule.
Donning oversized sunglasses and a striped dress, Ms. Hill, who recently pleaded guilty to evading more than $1 million in taxes, reportedly looked uncomfortable singing. According to a writer for the Metro News, she struggled through uninspired remixes from the 14-year-old ‘Miseducation of Lauryn Hill’ (wait, how old do you feel right now?) before coming alive to rap some Fugees classic.
Can’t blame that one on island dick.
She wrapped up her set by bringing her kids on stage and letting them sing and rap. Cute gesture, but it cut into Snoop Dogg’s slot.
Check out an additional flick from the evening along with video footage of L-Boogie rocking the mic alongside Nas in Amsterdam earlier this month inside.