Mama, I Wanna Sing [Too]!

Posted on June 25, 2009

I need all my prayer warriors to assist me in casting out this spirit of fuckery. I’m going to have to check my blood sugar on Shawty Lo’s One Touch Ultra after the smoke clears from this.

Word on the curb is that Kim Kardashian is currently in the bathroom at Stop N’ Go studio recording her debut r&b flavored album. But wait, it gets better! A duet with Uncle Ciara is rumored to appear on the future musical masterpiece. Jesus be a non-stop ticket to Dreamland so Jazze Pha and Drumma Boy can breathe life into me!

“I’d have to hear a song and feel it out and see if it’s something I’d sound good at. I would like the music to sound a bit like Lady GaGa, Britney Spears and J.Lo with a bit of an r&b twist to it . . . Filming the video would be fun, that would be the best bit,” says Kardashian.

Kim Zoliack, where art thou?

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

Girl, You Try So Hard

Posted on June 23, 2009

Black Fran Drescher is really trying her best to stay in the relevancy loop, bless her annoying little soul.
The songbird [1] performed at the Century 21 Path to Your Dreams sweepstakes check presentation last night. I’m not going to take the bait and make a joke on her over it.

She hasn’t resorted to releasing any nude flicks of herself [intended for Nelly's eyes only, of course], thrown Irv Gotti under the same bus he shoved her in front of, hanging out with Kim Kardashian for publicity, or shaving off half of her hair for a spot in the trending topics on Twitter – - yet. And I am damn proud of her for it. Gold star for you!

[1] That’s what we call em now.

Photo-chopped & Screwed: Why Won’t You Let Ciara Be Great?!

Posted on May 28, 2009

This isn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever known but its gunning for the top spot. This coupon is the result of the hard and diligent work of somebody no doubt bored at their computer but may Sweet Minty Jesus shower his blessing down on them still the same.

Now if this was a coupon to Kim Kardashian’s new store in Miami I would be sold!

Instead of flooding the comment section of various blogs [ahem] Ciara’s fans and stans should just pull all of their funds together go out and buy a single copy of Marta Ride. What you think they all mad at me for? [© Queen Creole Crawfish]

Coupon via Sandra Rose

Roseanne Was Right!

Posted on May 1, 2009

Rihanna is indeed a whore for propaganda. Last week the gossip was that she was spotted out at dinner with new rumored boyfriend, Los Angeles Lakers center Andrew Bynum. It actually turns out that Pon De Forehead may have been getting her Kim Kardashian on: seeking publicity by any means necessary. Girl, you so thirsty!

According to Bynum, he was eating dinner with his family (parents) at Mastro’s Steakhouse and Rihanna and her companions were seated at a nearby table. Rihanna came over and introduced herself to Andrew and asked if she could have a photo with him. Andrew was flattered and happily complied.

They left around the same time, and paparazzi outside got all riled up, assuming they had dinner together. Rihanna didn’t deny it. Naturally rumors that they were on a date buzzed all over town. Afterward Bynum wondered if she had used him in some way or it was a coincidence. [source]

The negro community frowns down on your shenanigans, Robyn. See more candids of Rihanna and Jay-Z after the jump.

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Oprah Doesn’t Wear Weave But Kim K. Does

Posted on April 27, 2009

Oprah made it public knowledge on her talk show last week that she does not wear weave by posting a picture [click] of her natural hair. Like that’s supposed to prove some shit.

Look, I could give two limp dicks either way but the picture doesn’t really prove anything. I actually believe that is her natural hair in the picture she showed but I also think she probably has a bathroom drawer full of hair too.

You know what kinda yaki is being produced at the Knowles Compound nowadays? Until I feel up under all that [no Gayle] and don’t detect any cornrows or wig caps I will continue to give the side-eye when I feel necessary. You see the picture up top.

It’s like that and that’s the way it is.

Kim Kardashian on the other hand doesn’t mind people knowing that her new hair hue comes courtesy of a wig. Girl, you introducing us to new concepts we’ve never heard of and shit!

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