In a new preview for season eight of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ (watch it below) a visibly “frustrated” Kim Kardashian vents “How the fuck did I get like this?” in response to her growing belly. You wobbled instead of swallowed, that’s how in the fuck.
In related news more worthy of your precious eyeball movement, House Mother Kanye outdid himself with the invitations to his baby shower. Of course I am giving him full credit for all elements related to this legendary affair. The mental image of him pacing across the kitchen floor in Kim’s monogram spa slippers while pouring over details about pink watercress sandwiches is the abundant life they talk about in bible study. Don’t be mad at me for trying to touch the hem of his garment.
Invited guests, including the floral incubator, each received a music box featuring a ballerina twirling to his 2005 ‘Late Registration’ track, “Hey Mama.” It’s just emotion taking me over.
Kim Kardashian stuffed her swollen feet inside a $2,950 pair of Givenchy Albertina podium heels for an afternoon out with mom Kris Jenner in Los Angeles yesterday. At last, your great-aunt pearl and someone on the E! channel finally have something in common. She paired the sandals with a white open sleeve dress from the same designer. House Mother Kanye would have it no other way.
With a highly anticipated studio album ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ and child with girlfriend Kim Kardashian on its way, House Mother Kanye is showing no signs of slowing down.
Days after showing up to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City with a bag of potpourri from Costco on his arm, the legendary ballroom chanteuse was spotted on an Atlanta rooftop filming a cameo for ‘Anchorman: The Legend Continues’ yesterday. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
“He was quite afraid of heights and required an umbrella for shade most of the time he was on the roof,” said an eyewitness. Go in, Muvah West.
In related dove cries, the cornerstone of journalistic integrity and truth that is the National Enquirer reports that HMK only agreed to be the musical guest on ‘Saturday Night Live’ if show writers didn’t make any jokes at the expense of his baby mama.
“Kanye, who’s been onSNL before, warned he wouldn’t appear if they made fun of Big Momma,” said an insider. Consequence, is that you?
If I had one wish, it would be for blackened Drake (sorry Tyrese, you lost the crown) to sit the hell down and petition for ‘One On One’ to come back for another season.
The music video for “I Hit It First” chronicles the tale of how Moesha’s brousin was the fairy godmother in the Cinderella story that is ex-girflriend Kim Kardashian. Lord send me a sponsor worthy of Teairra Mari so he can go buh-buy-buy-buy-buy.
You can go ahead and press play if you want, or log on YouTube and watch tutorials on how to properly fade your drawn on eyebrows. I’m pretty sure you can decide which is more important.
Ray J didn’t realize how the impact of a track titled “I Hit It First” could be detrimental to the reputation of Kim Kardashian’s vagina, honestly.
In an exclusive sit down with Karen Civil, Moesha’s brousin explains that he still wants to be “respectful” about his controversial song and dishes on the concept of the music video set to drop next week.
HMK wants to name the hologram currently being created by the DONDA Institute inside girlfriend Kim Kardashian‘s diamond lined uterus North when it arrives in July because he thinks its sounds good with his surname West, an anonymous* source tells pillar of journalistic integrity The Sun.
Yet my pearls remain unclutched. Why is that?
Anyway, Kim testified under oath that she loved Kris Humphries once upon a time at a deposition this week, TMZ reports. Now he’s just someone that she used to know. I’m typing this with the back of my left hand pressed against my forehead.