Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Posted on July 9, 2009

After being introduced to the magnificence that is Geisha a few months back my thoughts of Khia and the constant fuckery she brings to my inbox have been few and far in between. Consider this my redemption song.

I hope there were plenty of face masks in the club the night Khia and Cousin Belmont [I doubt if that's his government name but he just looks like a Belmont to me] came through spreading flu and fever! Everything from the subtle tittay bump to his perfectly shaped eyebrows not only gave me life but gave it to me more abundantly.

There’s not too many who can hold their own in the presence of Thug Misses yet alone come out on top but Cousin Belmont defied the odds stacked against him. That’s why the value size hater in the background couldn’t help but give a disapproving side-eye but I rebuke thee. Males shouldn’t be jealous that’s a female trait. You feeling fishy, hoe?

The Queen Has Spoken

Posted on June 1, 2009

Ever have one of those mornings when you wake up feeling unfulfilled before you can even hop up out of bed to turn your swag on? Such was my plight today.

I couldn’t figure out what the missing link in my life was until a voice from the heavens spoke out to me in a loud thunderous voice and instructed me to visit Khia’s MySpace blog. I immediately fell down to my knees and rejoiced when the words “Mathew Knowles wit his dick slaying ass” appeared at the top of my screen.

.Mathew…..Mathew….Mathew….. In the case of Kelly Rowland and Mathew Knowles…. Mr. Knowles…… You are the FATHER!!! And Russell Simmons said that!!!! Nowwwwww….. Imma see if some dirt service out the clear blue sky on Russell!!! One time for Kimora….. I see you left that QUEEN and married that KING bare-faced and hair wrapped up like CLEOPATRA!!!! And I looooooooved it!!! All dat fake shit and make-up had to go fucking wit KUNTA….. Welcome home…… My Black Sista!!!! All Hail The Newborn King!!!!!!.

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Can I Get A Witness?

Posted on April 2, 2009

Thug Misses had a lot to say about First Lady Diamond on her MySpace blog, prompting LisaRaye to address our queen on Freaky Friday Radio. But damn her point of view, it’s all about Tampa’s finest over here at C+D! Read what Khia had to say under the hood.

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I’m Just Saying . . .

Posted on March 9, 2009

If the girl wants to sell ass let her sell ass. Soulja Slim [may he rest in heavenly peace in Thug's Mansion] said if he want it he’ll pay for it. I don’t see what the big deal is about Kanye doing the same.

How many times must I stress the importance of keeping your bills handled by any means necessary? Sell that snatch! Men, peddle that dick! Much like crime prostitution pays.

Now if you are fucking for free, that’s a problem. This post has been brought to you by Trina, Khia, Jacki-O, and every other female rapper from Florida. More flicks of the happy couple at Stella McCartney’s fashion presentation in Paris under the hood.

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[Crowd Participation] Got Ignorance?

Posted on March 4, 2009

That’s My Juvie — Magnolia Shorty

Blame The IPS for this.

You ever feel like you are apart of the problem instead of the solution? I struggle with this every time I hit the club with mi amigos. We are all educated and successful women – - all dancing to some of the most ignorant shit you will ever hear in life. I know, I know. I’m trying to get help for it now. Tyra Banks should dedicate a hour to this shit.

I roll my eyes and give critiques on what real hip-hop is all week long and then turn around and swag surf on Saturday night. And I know it ain’t right but I just can’t help it. When the DJ says “if you pussy clean let me hear you scream” I feel obligated to yell as loud as I can. What if someone is watching and I don’t say anything? It would be safe to assume I had sea bass in my panties, correct? While it is true that only God can judge me you know people always got something to say.

Here are a few of my favorite ignorant club songs. Be sure to put your headphones while you listen unless of course you want your co-workers to hear you jamming to the smooth wails of OJ Da Juice Man. What are some of your favorite guilty pleasure songs?

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[Quick Flicks] The Wonderful World of Weave

Posted on February 24, 2009

VIEW GALLERY AT EXCLUSIVE ACCESS

Atlanta’s Bronner Brothers International Hair Show is the ultimate destination for people such as myself who enjoy the creative minds of some of the hair industry’s leading tang masters. I’m always down for new techniques to keep my yaki together.

Local celebrity Sheree Whitfield was there peddling her “designs” and signing autographs while Sisqo and Nokio slipped their cell numbers and Twitter user names to only the most prominent stylists. Girls, you better get that dick and go, and don’t call that nigga no mo! Just get it and go! [c] Khia

Visit Sandra Rose to check out pictures featuring some delicious tangettes! I wanna beep beep beep Shawty with the rainbow brite hair and lace tights way more than I want a stimulus check.

Bow Down

Posted on February 23, 2009

I know some of you want to continue to beat the dead horse that is the Oscars, but let’s get down to the meat and potatoes of today’s fuckery instead: Khia!

Her mega-watt smile and bubbling personality illuminate any dark room. Right before you flip the light switch back in the off position again, of course. I hate to break it to you but this is as good as its going to get. Derek Blanks already tried, baby.

On her hit song [available on iTunes, get you a piece] “K Wang” she raps “it’s me what the fuck hell wrong with ya’ll?” with a straight face. Where does one begin to start?