» The Gospel According to Khia spread like wildfire last week after Thug Misses released her latest independent release, “Pussy Bill.” Be advised that there is a $3 convenience charge on all payments submitted online.

» Three million views later and Drake has yet to acknowledge the greatness that is Shit Drake Says with a simple LOL. Is it too on point for you to deal with, Drizzy?

» Waka Flocka Flames goes hard in the paint — and playground.

» Pastor Troy proved once and for all that he wasn’t about that life and became a trending topic in the process.

» Lola Monroe runs with the Taylor Gang boys on a new track

» Hollywood’s $130 million man  challenged his supporters to tap into their own potential in a video message posted to his Facebook fan profile.

Niggas like pussy and girls like money.

Although the proceeding could easily be mistaken as a text message of encouragement from Al Reynolds to Evelyn Lozada it is instead lyrics from a new song in Khia’s ever expanding hymnal of gutter bitch spirituals. Lift every voice and sing.

LISTEN NOW ON THE FURY

2004-2008 weren’t the most productive years for Tampa’s thug queen Khia.

Refusing to sit back and watch her career turn to waste, the “Snatch The Cat” back rapper decided to place all of her Funyons on the table by competing in Miss Rap Supreme. The rest as they say is history.

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery to some but Khia isn’t swiping her EBT card in order buy into popular opinion.

Almost immediately after a teaser clip from Beyonce’s “Party” video featuring J. Cole (scheduled to debut in full later today) began making its rounds online, Thug Misses accused King B of ripping off the groundbreaking, highly conceptualized pool party visuals featured in the almost decade old video for “My Neck, My Back.”

“Thanks you for the love the tweets & roses. To bad I don’t bulldag with prego women. Call super head jay knows all about her,” Khia spammed to Queen Creole’s official account.

Emotions tend to vary when Thug Misses allows fans to enter her controversial innermost sanctum. Some squeal in delight while others burst into tears (and flames) upon discovering that they are trapped inside her mind’s fourth level of ratchet hell. I just blink rapidly and try my best to hold on to the beauty of the moment for as long as humanly possible.

The raptress turned reality television contestant turned life coach touches on the benefits of self-employment, clears up recent rumors that her car was repossessed, goes in Georgia’s prison system, questions Tamar Braxton’s relevancy, attempts to offer Tameka “Tiny” Cottle some unsolicited marital advice, gives Lil’ Wayne all of her love and so much more in her latest Facebook blog entry.

THE WORD FOR TODAY IS J.O.B.

Stop working for the computer and let the computer work for you. Stay ya tired asses off Facebook and do your fucking jobs. Them whores be typing on the computer for free and aint got NAN Data Entry Specialist degree. If you gone be on the computer all day. Get Paid. Get MONEY BIIIIIIITCH!

MISCOMMUNICATION LEADS TO COMPLICATION

I guess that’s why they forgot to take the old ass WARRANT out of the system on the fuck shit that a bitch already did TIME for!

The Queen don’t stay in jail. I gets in and I gets out. Yall better ask a bitch bout me. Yall aint got no dirt on me! You aint caught me with POWDER, LEAN and METH in my PUSSY. Some thangs Black Queens just aint gone do! I do the crime, I don’t do the time!

LOCKED UP: RAW

First, they turned the AC down to 20 below knowing the hoes and tricks aint got on no clothes, then they give you a STALE ass bologna sandwich that the Queen had to cut open with her diamond baguette canine teeth to open up the MUSTARD pack while shoving 30 hoes in a 5×7 cell for 15 to 20 hours straight. They lock a hoe up in a FLASH, but take 24 hours to release a bitch. Chile BOOOOOOOO!

NO, NO, NO REPO

While yall bitches talking bout the Queen’s car being REPOED, the Queen car is paid for….Do we got any pictures? Noooooooooow, yall know the Poe Poe don’t come to yall house bout no car. As long as yall bitches been HIDING cars at ya mammies and grand mammies houses. Let’s keep it 100 today, Damn right I’ll beat a bitch ass bout coming to FUCK with ANN one of my cars and I got a few of them. What yall think I got? A 20 year LOAN? As long as I been riding the Lex I know it’s PAID for! Catch a bitch in the HUMMER. All day! I did an instant replay, and went to JAIL for shit I already done. Nowwwwww, I’m bout to go to the PEN bout a nigga who STOLE my goddamn money!

THE 3T’S: TAMAR, T.I. AND TINY

Tamar, off with your fucking big ass head! Bitch, we wore baby powder back when the Queen was a lil girl. You hot because you were NEVA relevant? It’s always been about the Queen! Bitch, you can hear and smell real good out your nose no matter how much cartilage you took from you ear to “Fix Ya Face!”

Since you wanna tweet about the Queen, tweet dis. No matter how much blonde weave you put on your hair, that pussy hair is always gone be BLACK!!!! Looking like “Shrekhasadaughter.com” Bitch. Who are you again? The Braxtons? How many records you sold? Toni will always be the only Braxton we know! That’s all I got to say about that. Tell ya FAT ass husband to call me, Bitch! Since you wanna Tweet Dats why dey call me BIIIIITCH @queenkhia!!!!!

T.I. they done let your fuck ass outta jail and you turned around and went right back in! You shoulda took ya $100.00 and got on the prison CRUSADE bus like the Queen did! I thought you was gone keep it 100 this time when you got out?

Tiny, you can’t handle ya husband’s business? He can’t trust you do shit but HIDE PILLS, POWDER and LEAN in ya PUSSY? You can go to jail for a nigga but you can’t hold shit down while he gone? Bitch, stop TOOT TOOTING, handle ya biz then T.I. can stay outta jail! Looks like you gone still be jacking DICKS underneath dem tables like the Queen said on the 4th of July Blog!

Tamar, if you and Tiny doing the DOUBLE DUTCH … I’m jumping In!

BEY BEY’S BABY

Congratulations to Behooooce’ for finally taking the Queen’s advice and giving her fraggle rock, muppet baby looking ass husband their first born child! Get Money Bitch. We all waiting to see what the baby gone look like and we hope it aint gone look like the pappy. The hood already know how them high yellow hoes get to looking when they get old as Methuselah by the time they reach the age 35! Is that why Matthew left Tina and stole LeToya and Latavia’s money? Like Catherine Jackson said, “Tell the truth nigga and take ya ass back to Vegas to them white hoes.”Behooooooce, they been tryna tell you this fuck shit for over 10 years and now you wanna catch on and FIRE your pappy and wanna holla bout a DC reunion. It’s over hoe! Didn’t TLC school yall on how Pebbles stole all of their got damn money?

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Read what Khia has to say about Lil’ Wayne, J. Lo, Jada and Will, Kreayshawn and other delayed bastards by clicking here.

Gospel rapper Khia added another head shot to her already extensive portfolio of beauty after she was arrested on Saturday evening in Dekalb County, Georgia for “concealing/endangering property-secured interest.” Basically, Thug Misses got caught red handed unsuccessfully trying to duck the repo man. Hopefully next time around she takes a cue from Young Jeezy and hide the rest of the yams at her auntie’s house.

“She looks like one of those people in The Wiz working in the factory before the rain washed away the ugliness.” — Darrell

“NO MISS SOPHIA NO! Seriously. I can bump to a few of her jams but sometimes, as a struggling artist, you just have to know when to sashay away. Time to gather up your bags of hair and put the titties away. Now head on over to the church kitchen to live out the rest of your days fryin’ chicken for God’s children until they comin’ fo’ to carry you home.” — Steven

“Her neck, her back, she hid it her crack!” — Culinary Chick

“This mug shot is hurting me. I mean they couldn’t have let her put on some lip gloss. Carmex or something?!” — Candice

Khia Chambers, born Khia Shamone Finch (November 8, 1977), better known as Khia (pronounced /ˈkaɪ.ə/ ky-ə), is an American rapper, songwriter, singer, record producer, and respiratory infection. She is best known for her 2002 single “My Neck, My Back (Lick It)”, which became a top-five hit on the UK Singles Chart and pushed her debut album to gold-selling status in the United States. Most recently, Khia returned to the realm of relevance after posting a poorly written blog on her Myspace page.

Khia is set to work with Satoshi Tajiri in a live-action Pokémon film as MewTwo.

- With reluctance, Khia took to small studio in someone’s house and began recording. With a budget of a little over one thousand dollars, Khia produced an album which she described as a “sonically remixed version of some shit y’all nigga’s ain’t never heard of before.”

- In November 2006, Khia got into an internet brawl with high school cheerleader Ciara over the social networking site Adam4Adam. Ciara claimed that Khia sent him a message asking to collaborate on a track for the LGBT community. He declined Khia’s offer, and Khia filled Ciara’s inbox with smiles and pictures of her vagina with the words “Cinnamon Toast Crunch” as the caption. Ciara closed his account shortly afterwards.

- Khia recently released “Fix Your Face”, a song from her forthcoming mixtape (intended to be a Lil’ Kim diss) “Damage Control” and 2 singles digitally on iTunes, “So Addicted” & “Spend It On Me.” Khia posted to Twitter that she purchased an iPhone 3GS from Craig’s List and was able to put the finishing touches on her album through a voice recorder application. The album is slated for release sometime in the latter half of 2011.

Filmography

“Digimon Adventure” (1998) as Augumon
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1″ (2010) as Voldemort
“Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure” (2011) as Sharpay’s Dog

Thanks Bernard!

The EF Hutton of the projects is back and presenting her rare of shade in high definition! Before reading her latest explosive blog The Queen spoke out against the media’s lack of coverage for the “afros, headwraps and thugged misses dresses down to the floor” event that was 2Pac’s 40th Birthday Celebration Concert. Don’t let the length of the video or her mic rubbing against her village feeders detour you from watching!

Here’s a little fact about the internet you probably didn’t know: Every time someone types “bull dagger” online an angel gets its wings. And with her latest blog entry giving an A-Z analysis on her industry peers Khia was able to send plenty of them to flight school on a full ride.

As with all reading material presented by Khia prepare to clutch your pearls, rosary beads, and Swiffer wet cloths because you’re going to need all three to make it through. Here are the highlights:

Letter B – Beyonce: Fuck this hoe………Can Kelly Rowland make a little bit of MONEY???? We all seen Kelly on the EBT card awards shut that shit down and here you come making Jay Z call in all of his favors to put you on the TV screen with that TIRED, THROUGH and DELAYED performance. We ALL could have passed on that! Imma a fan, true enough but we really sick of looking at you! Give Solange a chance or give your husband Jay Z some children cuz he getting ole as Methasulem and his time is running OUT!! Who runs the world? Girls…..Girls!

Letter D – Debra Lee: Debra Lee You looked like Petunia the Pig up there…… Who styled you for the EBT card awards????? They needed to be STONED and HANGED!!! The fit was waaaaaay too tight around them BIG ass arms and that train was waaayyyyy toooooo long! Shit aint been the same since Bob Johnson left your FAT ass in charge!!! First you didn’t want to play the Queen’s “Been A Bad Girl” video then you fired Free and Aj and now this dress!!!!!!! Enough already……On to the letter E!!!

Letter K- Katrina Laverne Taylor and Kimberly Denise Jones: I done let Lil Kim have it on my single “Fix Your Face,” available on I-tunes, so we gone dedicate the letter K to Katrina Harbor, who done gave all these niggas and bull daggers HIV, Lupus and Grave’s Disease loosing hair and weight, with eyes and thyroids bulging out of the socket! Katrina Harbor has been killing niggas and bull-daggers for a whole decade…… When is yall niggas gone tell the truth? The hood already knows dis…..Easy E aint the only one who went out with a BANG… So glad I didn’t Juuuuuump on that dirty Diiiiiiiiiiick!!!!!!!

Besides, I have already let the world know on the “Hit Er Up” diss that Katrina Harbor’s DURTY, ROTTEN and CORODED ass can’t have no babies…..Weezy aint been the same since he left your ass!!!! Aint no need to tweet about you NOT being PREG! When you don’t take your meds you shrink like a prune and when you do, you big as 2 Burger Kings!!!! Keep it real hoe!!!!!

I hear CVS has a new Minute Clinic but the problems you have with your PUSSIE pussy, you gotta go to the free CLINIC for that!!!!! Bobble Head Biiiiiiiitch!!!!!

Letter M -Mediatakeout.com aka Mediafuckedout: I’m a little sick of you sissys and punks at mediatakeout……So I did a little digging and I found out that the turn around time on that job is every 30 days!!! Fred Mwangaguhuanga fires and hires on the regular so I guess those who write the best bull shit get to keep their jobs!!!! Ask him about the Queen’s royal attire…..I betcha he knows, the lawyer turned blogger Hell, the Queen been doing that rapping and blogging for years!!!!!!! The many stories of mine that yall copied and pasted… I need a little bit of that money baaaaaaaby!!!! Everytime you mention the Queen’s name, the number of clicks is well over 500,000 views ……Call me Fred!!!!!!! You and me must never part……Ma-ki-da-da!!!! Looking like a Turtle Fish turned Black Sea Money, you African muthatfucka! On another note, Yall leave Monica alone just because she wanted a FedEx, Expedited, Rush Ordered Husband, leave her be……Monica is a good woman sol et her have her Justice Of The Peace Wedding……..Rocko wasn’t bout shit….Yall Aint Going Steady!!!!!! That nigga was only good for that SMOKIN ass head and then he needed to be DISPOSED of. Let’s learn to stop being MISDIAGNOSED, DICKMATIZED, and having BALLHEISMERS for these no good ass niggas! Ladies, you heard it from me…. Leave these no good fuck niggas alone, “Don’t Trust No Nigga,” get ya own shit!!!!

And NO BABIES PLEASE!!!!! Ya see, the Queen pleasures herself and don’t wait for the industry or nan nigga to do it for me!!!!! Moe rubber bands………Pleeeeeeeease!!!!!

Letter Q – Queen: I am the motherfucking Queen, I am immortal and I have inside of me the blood of GREAT Royal Queens….. I have no rivals no one can be my equal or dare challenge me. I AM the Queen! Yall vipors can’t criticize nor worry me, my fruit is ripe and it never spoils. I wear the crown GRACEFULLY because I am an overcomer so I can’t be dethrowned . All you fucking followers need to follow the real leader, the headliner…… I am the motherfucking Queen!!!!!!!! Fall Back!

Letter R-Rick Ross: Is you really selling dope on your IPhone?????? I did see you at the Tupac center but I am not sure if you were just there to promote that tired ass single or there to support Queen Afine and the children because all the money you claim you got, I didn’t see you cut no check…..I’m a little sick of you talking bout dope and fucking bitches in the ass on all your songs! Listen ladies, a straight man would not want to violate your ass, bypassing all that good pussy to go straight to the asshole…… I got a problem with that!!!!! Ass is ass…..If you try one, you tried them all!!!! Once again, boy pussy it is….Cocaine is a powerful drug!

Letter U- : U bitches gone learn to respect me,

U motherfuckers need to stop popping pills.

U hip hop niggas need to come on out the closet.

U niggas need to put the lean cups down.

U muthafuckas need to learn to wrap it up.

U 80’s babies is fucked up…….Is it just me or have you noticed that crack cocaine has fucked up an entire generation of children? They are really doing the most right now. They fucked up spiritually, physically and emotionally and they seriously need help……Let us pray!!!!

Stop right there! For a complete dosage of Khia’s words of wisdom visit her Facebook profile.

Never mind Jacki-O’s grapes of wrath tattoo.

The final scene in Waiting To Exhale is never going to happen among female rappers. “Ladies Night: The Sequel” went down inside Missy Elliot’s bedroom after she put the finishing touches on “Let It Go.” Da Brat was still locked up, she know what she was doing. Turn it loose and give it to Jesus, people.

During the peak of Khia’s beef with Jacki-O and Trina in Summer 2006 the “Snatch The Cat Back” rapper made it clear that the two had about the same chance as a pack of Ball Park franks inside Ricky Rozay’s refrigerator during Memorial Day weekend than ever making it in her BBM contacts during an interview with Ozone magazine.

I’m pretty without makeup. I don’t need a stylist and I don’t need thousand dollar hairdos. Keep it real, you know those hoes look a hot mess. You catch Trina early in the morning without all that makeup on her face and that hoe looks a hot mess.

She [Jacki-O] said I was a one-hit wonder and I looked a hot mess. Well, this is my hair. I’ve got dreads. I don’t need makeup and expensive hairdos to make me look like something. I’m beautiful on my worst day. I don’t have to get my ass pumped and I don’t have to walk around butt-naked to sell record.

Honey, tell Lil Wayne to get him a natural beauty with some dreads. How’s he gonna represent the hood when he’s got a bitch with four different types of hair? I wrote the whole Thug Missus album listening to his CD. I love Lil’ Wayne, and this ain’t got nothing to do with Trina. I’m mad cause he even fucked her. That makes me not even want him no more. But tell him to holla at Khia. Tell him to get a girl with dreads. I know Trina looks cute but when he wakes up in the morning and sees how she looks, I know he regrets it.