The unimaginative see a University of Florida beach towel. Bad bitches who happily hand over their income tax refund to trusted dope boys to make their money do gymnastics see the makings of an illustrious Grecian toga.
From the curious mind that brought welfare fraud straight to your iTunes playlist for more than a decade, Khia turns up the sex appeal in her latest flea market photo shoot. Deep down inside you secretly wish that you were this perfect.
Why go through the hassle of reserving Roseland Ballroom when the back of Nate’s Rib Shack has a brand new bamboo deck?
Multi-wooden skewer selling rapper Khia recently treated fans to an intimate evening of excessive body odor and live music. Tamar Braxton and K. Michelle, welcome to the future. Check out Khia performing “Dickmatize Me” by pressing play. Get money, bitch!
Who did it? Who forgot to put a password lock on their WiFi and let Khia join its network long enough to upload her newest video blog?
Complete with her two resident kiki partners (every bad bitch with no flaws should keep a pair around, Khia touches on ‘Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta’, standing accused of being a welfare queen, and other “tea” — the $1.07 kind ’cause you know this shit isn’t true — on Mother Kanye, Janet Jackson, Amber Hoes (her words not mines), and more.
Now, before you shade this moon cricket into dust, let’s reflect on her music track record compared to Rasheeda. At least Khia’s own picture pops up on Google and Wikipedia.
Speaking with a group of high school girls in Philadelphia, Eve recently opened up about her past relationship with ‘Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta’ ratchet romeo Stevie J.
“Yes, Stevie J was my first love. You know what . . . that was a learning experience. You meet people all the time. We just happen to fall in love. But thankfully I knew better, I know better, I am happily in love now. And the girl now (referring to herself) he couldn’t even see this. I would be like, ‘I’m sorry, we don’t speak the same language.’”
After seven selfless years of campaigning for her to become a relevant figure, Khia blocked me on Twitter. But until she un-friends my ass on Facebook, I’ll continue to scan over her wall posts daily.
Today’s social media stalking was pretty damn fruitful. Earlier this afternoon, Khia posted a YouTube link to the song “Dickmatize” from her newly released album ‘Motor Mouf/Khia Shamone.’
I know what you are thinking and couldn’t agree more. I too exclaimed “This is what my iPod has been missing!” when I read the song’s title.
The bullet grazed sex kitten coolly purrs on the slow burning track, “So addicted to your love, how you make sure I cum first / I’ll be sure to put in work / I can’t wait to be near you, just to touch you, just to feel you, babe / eyes are hypnotizing, come on and dickmatize me.”
I’ll see the rest of you at the Grammys.