House Mother Kanye Hypes ‘SNL’ Appearance By Wearing A Band-Aid

kanye bandaid House Mother Kanye Hypes SNL Appearance By Wearing A Band Aid

If we ever end up in a classroom environment together I’m making it my business to knock House Mother Kanye‘s back issues of V Magazine off his desk with the swing of my ass on my way to the pencil sharpener. I’m wide and petty enough to do it, why not?

Just wanted to put that out there.

In a new promo for his ‘Saturday Night Live’ appearance, HMK wears a band-aid over his forehead boo boo as a — wait for it — reference to his much publicized stunt queen fail last week when he walked into a street sign while out with his baby mama. Should’ve kept his eye on the prize.

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Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye Agreed To Perform On ‘SNL’ If They Banned Kim Kardashian Jokes

kanye kim Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye Agreed To Perform On SNL If They Banned Kim Kardashian Jokes

With a highly anticipated studio album ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ and child with girlfriend Kim Kardashian on its way, House Mother Kanye is showing no signs of slowing down.

Days after showing up to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City with a bag of potpourri from Costco on his arm, the legendary ballroom chanteuse was spotted on an Atlanta rooftop filming a cameo for ‘Anchorman: The Legend Continues’ yesterday. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

“He was quite afraid of heights and required an umbrella for shade most of the time he was on the roof,” said an eyewitness. Go in, Muvah West.

In related dove cries, the cornerstone of journalistic integrity and truth that is the National Enquirer reports that HMK only agreed to be the musical guest on ‘Saturday Night Live’ if show writers didn’t make any jokes at the expense of his baby mama.

“Kanye, who’s been on SNL before, warned he wouldn’t appear if they made fun of Big Momma,” said an insider. Consequence, is that you?

So Happy Together, I Guess

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Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye West Wants To Name Baby North

kanye kim Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye West Wants To Name Baby North

HMK wants to name the hologram currently being created by the DONDA Institute inside girlfriend Kim Kardashian‘s diamond lined uterus North when it arrives in July because he thinks its sounds good with his surname West, an anonymous* source tells pillar of journalistic integrity The Sun.

Yet my pearls remain unclutched. Why is that?

Anyway, Kim testified under oath that she loved Kris Humphries once upon a time at a deposition this week, TMZ reports. Now he’s just someone that she used to know. I’m typing this with the back of my left hand pressed against my forehead.

PHOTOS: Check out the latest pictures of Kim Kardashian

Kris’ lawyer grilled for evidence that Kim defrauded Kris and only married him to boost ratings for her reality show.

He’s shooting for an annulment based on fraud, but sources say the depo didn’t help his case. The divorce trial will begin on my birthday, May 6. Look at God!

*You play too much, Brooke.

Kim Kardashian Out In Beverly Hills

Gucci Mane Drops Two New Mixtapes — And Waka Flocka From Brick Squad

gucci mane Gucci Mane Drops Two New Mixtapes     And Waka Flocka From Brick Squad

Well damn! Gucci Mane, pictured with Keyshia Ka’ior at the ‘Spring Breakers’ premiere on Friday, tweeted that Waka Flocka has been dropped from 1017 Brick Squad Records. – Rap Radar

Update: A label rep says that Gucci Mane LaFlare was hacked. Side-eye activated.

Chief Keef is already acting up after being released from jail. – Smoking Section

Let this serve as a lesson. Never come for the human statue again, ever. – Dlisted

Chris Brown cuddles Karreuche look-a-like on the set of new video. – Miss Jia

Is House Mother Kanye begging Anna Wintour to put Kim Kardashian on the cover of Vogue? – Ronald Matters  

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The Financial Records Of Bokeem Woodbine Remain Safe During Hacks, Beyonce And Others Not As Fortunate

1 The Financial Records Of Bokeem Woodbine Remain Safe During Hacks, Beyonce And Others Not As Fortunate

Two-step identity verification can’t save you in the real world. A website published credit reports, mortgage payments, Social Security numbers and more of Jay-Z, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian — as well as First Lady Michelle Obama, Mel Gibson and Paris Hilton.

Also victimized were Britney Spears, Donald Trump, Hulk Hogan, Ashton Kutcher, Vice President Joe Biden, FBI Director Robert Mueller, Attorney General Eric Holder, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and human paper weight Sarah Palin.

Hulk Hogan, my dude? I’ll give you everybody else but you need your ass beat for that one. Card carrying Hulkamaniac speaking, and I’m tight. [New York Daily News]

2 The Financial Records Of Bokeem Woodbine Remain Safe During Hacks, Beyonce And Others Not As Fortunate

A source tells Star magazine that when House Mother Kanye and Kim Kardashian would run into Anna Wintour around New York Fashion Week, Anna would blow HMK air kisses and shit but refused to even look at his Malibu Barbie. Jesus, hold my mule. [Dlisted]

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Kanye West Violated His No Press Rule Today

kanye west1 Kanye West Violated His No Press Rule Today

I hope you wore a matching bra and panty set today.

Hip hop’s leading lactating House Mother plopped out his left tit and invited the hungry neighborhood pups to latch on it by dialing up The Angie Martinez Show on Hot 97 to discuss MTV’s Hottest MC’s list with DJ Enuff.

It’s a rare occasion that HMK stands on the balcony of his boudoir located on the remote island of I’m Not You Niggas to address the rap community directly — so you’re welcome.

Skipping over the meat and potatoes and directly into dessert, the highlight of the conversation came when HMK slammed his petty card on the table and yelled “Domino, muthafucka!” with quite the revelation:

“I come from this battle rap, like that’s how I grew up in Chicago. I couldn’t believe it! I mean, I gave Sway is first TV, man. He came over to my crib in Newark, New Jersey, I was living in Newark doing beats for Jay and Beans and all them, and I was getting a new TV and I gave Sway his first TV. I didn’t really wanna like even call to talk about the number seven list, I just wanna tell everybody I gave Sway his first TV. And he need to remember that.”

Kanye West And Kim Kardashian At London Fashion Week

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