Why The Internet Was Created: Watch House Mother Kanye Dance To The ‘Living Single’ Theme Song

I appreciate this mash up of HMK’s blacked-out vogue performance at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards last night with the ‘Living Single’ theme song on so many levels. I just re-enacted Jaden Smith’s boygasm after watching Drake’s performance. Tip me over and pour me out.

All praises due to ‘Awkward Black Girl’ creator Issa Rae for turning what started out as one person’s brilliant observation into a reality.

Kanye West Gushes About Kim Kardashian And Baby North On ‘Kris’ Finale

kanye kris Kanye West Gushes About Kim Kardashian And Baby North On Kris Finale

We are a family like a giant tree, branching out for the sky.

Today, Kris Jenner teased clips of her hour-long interview with the Deena Jones of G.O.O.D. Music, Kanye West, airing tomorrow on the finale episode for her daytime talk show.

According to Jenner, the interview came about when the two “roommates” passed each other in the hallway of her Calabasas, California home. He made the suggestion to come on the talk show to get bitches straight about his public persona and relationship with Jenner’s daughter Kim Kardashian.

During his sit-down with the E! matriarch, the notoriously-private, paparazzi-loathing  hause muvah shares that welcoming daughter North West into the world was a life affirming one experience.

“After I lost my mother, there were times I felt like, I would put my life at risk. I felt like sometimes I didn’t have something to live for,” he said. “Now I have two really special people to live for, a whole family to live for. A whole world to live for.”

In the clip posted below, HMK speaks about applying the key life lesson his grandfather, who recently passed away, to life and his relationship with Kardashian: “His whole thing was joy. Just joy, having joy in his life. She’s my joy and she brought my new joy into the world, and there’s no paparazzi or no blog comment that’s gonna take that joy from me.”

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No Fats, No Femmes: Kandida West Has Spoken

girlfriend please No Fats, No Femmes: Kandida West Has Spoken

God bless the man who knocked House Mother Kanye‘s period on.

In promotion of his latest album ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ (now available on iTunes and inside heaven’s gift shop) HMK has been serving freshmen year Whitley Gilbert in a bid to convince all that he is the baddest past, present and future bitch to tip around campus.

As someone pointed out on Twitter recently, HMK’s delusions of grandeur would make bomb-ass social media bios, and his most recent interview with W Magazine is no exception. I hugged myself and laughed like Ray Charles several times.

That bitch is on one.

 On how being denied from a fashion show inspired ‘I Am A Stunt Queen’

So the next day I went to the studio with Daft Punk, and I wrote ‘I Am a God!’ Cause it’s like, Yo! Nobody can tell me where I can and can’t go. Man, I’m the No. 1 living and breathing rock star. I am Axl Rose; I am Jim Morrison; I am Jimi Hendrix. You can’t say that you love music and then say that Kanye West can’t come to your show! To even think they could tell me where I could and couldn’t go is just ludicrous. It’s blasphemous — to rock ’n’ roll, and to music. How can someone stop my opportunity to see something that he can teach me, that I can help teach the world? … I made that song because I am a god. I don’t think there’s much more explanation. I’m not going to sit here and defend shit. That shit is rock ’n’ roll, man. That shit is rap music. I am a god. Now what?

On having an ego the size of Tony Siragusa

On one end, I try to scale it back. Because I don’t want to close any of the doors needed to create the best product possible. But my ego is my drug. My drug is, ‘I’m better than all you other motherfuckers. Kiss my ass!’

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Stunts And Shows: Kim Kardashians Asks ‘How The Fuck Did I Get Like This’ In Reaction To Pregnant Curves

kim body Stunts And Shows: Kim Kardashians Asks How The Fuck Did I Get Like This In Reaction To Pregnant Curves

In a new preview for season eight of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ (watch it below) a visibly “frustrated” Kim Kardashian vents “How the fuck did I get like this?” in response to her growing belly. You wobbled instead of swallowed, that’s how in the fuck.

In related news more worthy of your precious eyeball movement, House Mother Kanye outdid himself with the invitations to his baby shower. Of course I am giving him full credit for all elements related to this legendary affair. The mental image of him pacing across the kitchen floor in Kim’s monogram spa slippers while pouring over details about pink watercress sandwiches is the abundant life they talk about in bible study. Don’t be mad at me for trying to touch the hem of his garment.

Invited guests, including the floral incubator, each received a music box featuring a ballerina twirling to his 2005 ‘Late Registration’ track, “Hey Mama.” It’s just emotion taking me over.

Kim And Kris Arrive In Los Angeles

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House Mother Kanye Hypes ‘SNL’ Appearance By Wearing A Band-Aid

kanye bandaid House Mother Kanye Hypes SNL Appearance By Wearing A Band Aid

If we ever end up in a classroom environment together I’m making it my business to knock House Mother Kanye‘s back issues of V Magazine off his desk with the swing of my ass on my way to the pencil sharpener. I’m wide and petty enough to do it, why not?

Just wanted to put that out there.

In a new promo for his ‘Saturday Night Live’ appearance, HMK wears a band-aid over his forehead boo boo as a — wait for it — reference to his much publicized stunt queen fail last week when he walked into a street sign while out with his baby mama. Should’ve kept his eye on the prize.

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Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye Agreed To Perform On ‘SNL’ If They Banned Kim Kardashian Jokes

kanye kim Rumors People Believe: House Mother Kanye Agreed To Perform On SNL If They Banned Kim Kardashian Jokes

With a highly anticipated studio album ‘No Fats, No Femmes’ and child with girlfriend Kim Kardashian on its way, House Mother Kanye is showing no signs of slowing down.

Days after showing up to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City with a bag of potpourri from Costco on his arm, the legendary ballroom chanteuse was spotted on an Atlanta rooftop filming a cameo for ‘Anchorman: The Legend Continues’ yesterday. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

“He was quite afraid of heights and required an umbrella for shade most of the time he was on the roof,” said an eyewitness. Go in, Muvah West.

In related dove cries, the cornerstone of journalistic integrity and truth that is the National Enquirer reports that HMK only agreed to be the musical guest on ‘Saturday Night Live’ if show writers didn’t make any jokes at the expense of his baby mama.

“Kanye, who’s been on SNL before, warned he wouldn’t appear if they made fun of Big Momma,” said an insider. Consequence, is that you?

So Happy Together, I Guess

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