Editor’s Note: Blame yours truly for the delayed roll out on this entry. Between teaching the choreography from the “Run The World (Girls)” video to underprivileged queens and my recent travels I have fallen behind on some of my duties here in Crunkland, including posting this story written by the oh so talented Jas Fly. Don’t tase me, bro.
Last week C+D was invited out to the GOOD Music event presented by Heineken and Kanye West. I knew ahead of time that making the show wasn’t happening for me, but that it would be a shame to let the opportunity past. Because when House Mother Kanye calls, well, you better answer. I fiddled my thumbs for 20 minutes or so before the light bulb in my brain came on. I reached out to Jas (I had been a fan of her writing for months and knew she was based in The Big Apple) and the rest is history. A special thanks to Alison from Team Epiphany for all of her hard work behind the scenes.
Like the immaculate boss bitch that he is globally recognized as House Mother Kanye cleaned house at the estate sale for Isaac Hayes before filling his Louis Vuitton luggage to capacity with hipster goodies for Cooch-ella. Get you a piece, whore! Grab your glowsticks and watch his full show below.
Never in all of my years of watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade have I ever stared at my television with a vacant expression before mouthing “This hoe might have just tried it” but that all changed on Thursday morning. While I was awestruck for obvious reasons not everyone was having it with House Mother Kanye. And they let the bitch have it.
Someone’s snatch is losing its magic touch. I think it may be about that time for House Mother Kanye to give his PR team the boot. Once you pop the lid you will have more understand as to why I have come to that conclusion.
House Mother Kanye was pissed to find out that the artwork for his upcoming audio offering My Beautiful Twisted Dark Fantasy was “banned” (girl, by who?) in the United States, so he did what any menstruating entertainer would do and took his ass over the good Twitter to vent about it.
Kanye wrote, “They don’t want me chilling on the couch with my phoenix!” and revealed a piece of graphic artwork in which a naked representation of the artist was in a sexually suggestive position with the mythological firebird in female form. In a follow-up tweet, West wrote, “In the ’70s album covers had actual nudity… It’s so funny that people forget that… Everything has been so commercialized now.”
Hallow-peen just came early for Al Reynolds. John Legend, not so much.
Pictures of Kanye Omari’s bubbling hot pocket are rumored to be on the way. Back during his more thirstier days it wasn’t uncommon for Mr. West to send flicks of his junk to women online, according to Radar Online. Now those images may come back to bite him in the ass. Consequence teeth jokes sold separately.
The self-snapped pictures of the music icon, showing his private parts, were reportedly sent to a number of women, and are now for sale and being shopped to various media outlets.
One image shows a nude Kanye from the chest up, wearing sunglasses and a gold chain, while the second photo shows the singer’s genitals provocatively exposed from his boxer briefs.
“These pics have been floating around since he hit so many girls up on MySpace,” according to the source of the images. “He probably sent them to many, many women.”