Freeze Frame: This Is What Perfection On A Monday Looks Like

jj1 Freeze Frame: This Is What Perfection On A Monday Looks Like

Presented without a watermark so that you can share amongst your friends. The man, the myth, the momofukin’ legend Jermaine Jackson was photographed arriving at The Coffee Bean in Los Angeles last week. If we all could just touch the hem of his garment.

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In Other News: Jermaine Jackson Is Back To Schooling Life — Open Your Textbooks

jj0 In Other News: Jermaine Jackson Is Back To Schooling Life    Open Your Textbooks

With this hair laid like sod on a football field Jermaine Jackson visited London television program Loose Women (not be confused as Britain’s version of Basketball Wives) last week to promote his new book “You Are Not Alone: Michael, Through a Brother’s Eyes.” Get money?

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The King And I: LaToya and Jermaine Jackson Promote Michael Jackson’s Legacy

jackson1 The King And I: LaToya and Jermaine Jackson Promote Michael Jacksons Legacy

With the anniversary date of Michael Jackson’s death approaching his opportunistic siblings have been hard at work keeping his memory alive. Peep sister LaToya peddling her book Starting Over and broham J.J. Fab hosting “The Michael Jackson Experience” ribbon cutting ceremony at Madame Tussauds in Hollywood after the jump.

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Crunkland Submitted Fuckery: Will You Let Jermaine’s Mane Be Great?

jermaine jack.thumbnail Crunkland Submitted Fuckery: Will You Let Jermaines Mane Be Great?

This bitch to the left doesn’t understand that the mix of chocolate, sugar, Let’s Jam! and magic cannot get wet. His face, her face, and Jermajesty [I just needed to type his name] with the LV clutch. What you know about The House of 2300 Jackson Street?

- – Anwar

I’m Just Saying . . .

Flavor Man

You know how there is always at least one junkie [past or present] relative who breaks your heart when they go ape shit at the funeral because they just can’t deal? Flavor Flav would be him. He talked to the media about the passing of Michael Jackson earlier this week after not being allowed to enter the estate on Thursday. Bless his heart if its coming from a genuine place.

“Music has lost a king, music has lost an icon, music has lost a friend,” he said, his eyes welling up with tears. “It’s unbelievable, but we don’t have any choice but to believe it.”

He said Jackson was the muse for music that’s being created today.

“God needed an extra angel, so he came and got Michael to work for him,” Flav said.

He said Jermaine Jackson, Michael Jackson’s brother, took him to his first black rodeo.

Single + Ready To Mingle

Gordon Gatrell’s muse off the market. Are your Vicki Secret’s dripping with panty pudding yet?

jj1 Single + Ready To Mingle

Jackson and now ex-wife Alejandra signed off and their divorce became final today.

They agreed to everything. Here’s the headline: Jermaine will pay off a $100,000 debt; in return, Alejandra waives all spousal support. Good deal for him, since they married way back in 1995. As for the debt, $50,000 is to pay her attorney’s fees and the other 50 grand is for Jermaine to become current on child support.

She gets physical custody of the kids and he gets visitation of Jaafar and Jermajesty. [Why has thou forsaken me? - - Fresh] He pays $3,000 a month in child support. He gets to keep his business — Jermaine Jackson Entertainment, Inc., and he also gets to keep his jewelry. [source]

This is what happens when you marry your brother’s ex-wife. Eclectic family or not, I know Randy was ready to put a slug in his chest when he found out that JJ Fab was knocking down his old lady.

This split must have been amicable as hell because they were just together at an event in April.

Star Tracks: Jermaine Jackson

jj Star Tracks: Jermaine Jackson

Jermaine Jackson is the opening act, headliner, and the after-party! I truly stan for this man. The razzi spotted him earlier this week hanging out with his family. If I didn’t know any better I would think that his wife was hiding a side-eye under her locs. Oh you mad cause JJ is stylin’ on you?!

JJ FAB!

jjf JJ FAB!

If I didn’t know any better I would say that Jermaine Jackson has drinking promethazine and codeine out of Lil’ Wayne’s sippy cup. Its strictly speculation at this point but don’t be surprise if more news about this emerges later on down the road. Get help, Jermaine.

Everyone is a fuckin’ critic when it comes to his pancake 31 game. Leave JJ alone! Don’t make me go all Chris Crocker on ya’ll! Can you give him credit for stepping out of the box and wearing something that wasn’t made by Gordon Gartrell? He may lose his endorsement over this and all you can think about is his leathery face and ampro gel wave game. Not cool.

Need A Tooth Pick?

Need A Tooth Pick?

jj1 Need A Tooth Pick?

I would like to take a quick moment to issue a big fat phuck you to Splash News for mistaken Zodiac Fishgrease for his brother Tito. I curse thy name. Now back to our regularly scheduled commentary.

Jermaine Jackson sat on a bench picking his teeth while waiting for his wife, Halima Rashid, to finish shopping [I thought he said he was broke?] after lunch in Beverly Hills before heading home in his drop top Bentley. Exciting times.

You can hate on dude if you want to but you would be wasting your time. The man has never met a rest stop t-shirt that he didn’t like and for that alone I salute him. Now scooping your brother’s sloppy seconds and making her wifey? That’s another story.


jj2 Need A Tooth Pick?

Fresher Than You

Fresher Than You

slick1 1 Fresher Than You

To no one’s shock Slickback Ivanhoe was named to People magazine’s best dressed list. I have the feeling that he just sent LaMike a text message that reads “I’m styling on yo’ bitch ass.” Other fashion forward stars include Gwen Stefani, George Clooney, David Beckham, Jennifer Lopez, Brad Pitt, and Johnny Depp.

Spicy Creole was dubbed “the showstopper” while Sanjaya Malakar’s faux hawk and Nay Nay playing dress up for community service were ranked among this year’s most shocking fashion moments.

Check out my jazzy top picks under the cut.

JJ2 Fresher Than You

Jermaine Jackson (for Gordon Gatrell)

pretty1 Fresher Than You

Slick ‘Em Hound of Pretty Ricky

cm2 Fresher Than You

Gel-N-Weave a/k/a/ Princess & Diamond of Crime Mob

ewf1 Fresher Than You

Lifetime Achievement for Outstanding Freshness // Earth, Wind, and Fire

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