Write this down: If Wendy Williams‘ staff makes plane reservations for you to attend her show as a guest, she doesn’t care how you get there get — just there if you can.
Well, DMX missed the memo and though he could get to the show because he had the type of “jury duty” that requires sitting behind bars.
The no call, no show after Wendy making plane reservations for one of his many baby mamas prompted the talk show host to spill the tea on the entire situation. She also issued an ultimatium to Earl: He has until Friday to be appear on set or he is no longer invited to sit at her table.
I’m sure he shaking in his Timberlands.
DMX appeared on ‘The Dr. Phil Show’ this week to talk about his extensive arrest history, substance abuse issues, financial woes, owing over $1 million in child support, as well as his ever-growing family tree which includes 11 children by 6 different women with another one on the way.
“I just need people to look at me as I speak and know who I am by what I say,” he says. “Not by what you see in the newspaper and not by what you read. You can tell a lot about a person by looking at them in the eyes.”
He also broke into “Lord Give Me A Sign” and hypnotized the audience in the process, including this guy:
When news broke that DMX was caught on camera dick slanging while running around a hotel in nothing but socks purchased by the bundle at the local flea market and an ankle monitor, the teenager that once barked at my portable CD player when he asked”Where my dawgs at?” jumped for joy. Then I remembered it wasn’t 1996.
SAD GABOUREY FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]
Tyra Mail! DMX added yet another headshot to his already extensive modeling portfolio after being arrested in South Carolina last night.
Shortly before midnight, police officers pulled over the F350 truck he was riding in for making an illegal lane change, TMZ reports. During an initial search of the vehicle, cops discovered a bag of weed (and not a vile containing crack, I can’t believe it’s not fucking butter) resting on the arm rest of the passenger door where X was sitting.
The officers proceeded to search the vehicle and an additional 3 bags of weed under the driver’s floor board. The driver was cited for possession of weed.
According to the police report, X — who smelled like an entire trough of Wild Irish Rose, bag of rusty nails and slave tears — became “very aggressive with his words and was making multiple idle threats.” Cops say one of the officers recognized the rapper during the arrest and knew there was an active warrant for his arrest.
If you thought a little thing like filing for bankruptcy would prevent DMX from sipping Four Loko mimosas at Welfare Wednesdays think again.
The rapper summoned the spirit of every drug kingpin profiled in F.E.D.S. Magazine and executed some of his most distinguished prison poses to date while partying at an event for Shady Records in New York City last night. Tens across the board!
Earlier in the day, X was photographed with Chris Rock on the set of a yet-to-be-titled film. That’s right side-eye chick, when this phoenix rises from the ashtray again don’t eeeeeeeeem try it.
DMX may have sold millions of album worldwide and be the only rapper to hold the honor of cussing Iyanla Vanzant slap the fuck out on national television but none of that matters to the collection agencies calling his Cricket cell phone.
Days after being arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and for failing to have a valid driver’s license, X filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in a Manhattan bankruptcy court on Monday (July 29).
The New York native and current South Carolina resident’s Chapter 11 petition lists less than $50,000 in assets and $1 million to $10 million in debt.
The current state of our world is a mess. Like really fucked up.
But you can’t show up at your significant other’s house sobbing and fighting the air like Cuba Gooding Jr in Boyz N Da Hood about all of the bad, unfair shit that occurs in it daily. Actually you can although I would imagine that it would take up the bulk of your schedule and give you unattractive knee caps in the end.
Thankfully, there is magic hidden in between Mama Earth’s fat folds for us to have and to hold in times we discover ourselves flirting with the idea of making like Naomi Campbell’s natural hairline and throwing in the towel. Don’t believe me? Just watch.