I’m finally over that whole Fantasy Ride / KFC thing but that doesn’t mean I will forget just as easily. Just pray for me. Moving along, Uncle Ciara has been keeping busy this summer by opening up for Britney Spears and Jay-Z on the road and whoring for propaganda with Kim Kardashian when she’s back in Los Angeles. Expect those flicks later this week.
All eyes are on the 2009 BET Awards just not for the fuckery the show usually brings but the show’s dedication to the life and legacy of Michael Jackson. Pull up a folding chair next to your favorite Crunkster in the comment section during the telecast!
Since my shit talking cannot be chopped down to 140 characters I am going to live blog from here tonight. Get you a piece, whore! Check it out under the cut!
I need all my prayer warriors to assist me in casting out this spirit of fuckery. I’m going to have to check my blood sugar on Shawty Lo’s One Touch Ultra after the smoke clears from this.
Word on the curb is that Kim Kardashian is currently in the bathroom at Stop N’ Go studio recording her debut r&b flavored album. But wait, it gets better! A duet with Uncle Ciara is rumored to appear on the future musical masterpiece. Jesus be a non-stop ticket to Dreamland so Jazze Pha and Drumma Boy can breathe life into me!
“I’d have to hear a song and feel it out and see if it’s something I’d sound good at. I would like the music to sound a bit like Lady GaGa, Britney Spears and J.Lo with a bit of an r&b twist to it . . . Filming the video would be fun, that would be the best bit,” says Kardashian.
Kim Zoliack, where art thou?
SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]
Matching your lipstick with your bra is the latest trend sweeping the nation. Or that’s what Ciara’s stylist told her before she sent her to the Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen premiere dressed like a Rue 21 mannequin. To borrow a quote from my twin Kid Fury if life were a ball, Ciara would always win Butch Queen in Drag. Category Closed. What’s your verdict?
I can count the number of times I remember seeing Beyaki so dumbed dressed down on one hand and still have enough pretty little manicured fingers left to tell you how many albums Ciara sold this week. That’s saying something. Does Tina know about this shit?
Ciara took the audience at Japan’s MTV Music Awards on a fantasy dollar cab ride through Decatur during her performance of “Love Sex Magic.” You can catch her in the parking lot selling ass and extra copies of her albums on the European leg of Britney Spears’ Circus tour later this month but until then pop the hood to watch her performance.
This isn’t the sweetest thing I’ve ever known but its gunning for the top spot. This coupon is the result of the hard and diligent work of somebody no doubt bored at their computer but may Sweet Minty Jesus shower his blessing down on them still the same.
Now if this was a coupon to Kim Kardashian’s new store in Miami I would be sold!
Instead of flooding the comment section of various blogs [ahem] Ciara’s fans and stans should just pull all of their funds together go out and buy a single copy of Marta Ride. What you think they all mad at me for? [© Queen Creole Crawfish]
Coupon via Sandra Rose