Rewind: Ciara Works In Her New Verizon LG Chocolate Commercial

I was in the middle of a saucy fantasy sequence featuring my boo Kennis from I Want To Work For Diddy when Uncle Cecil and her crew of butch queens started gyrating their nuts at the customer service counter popped up on my television screen last night. She has been living a Metro PCS lifestyle for months now so I simply cannot approve this endorsement.

The next best thing to Ciara herself is Khia. Well?

Star Tracks: Ciara Ducks Photographers

ciara candid 1 Star Tracks: Ciara Ducks Photographers

Somebody at the Kardashian Compound obviously left the gate open on Thursday.

With her tuck game on a hundred thousand trillion, Uncle Cecil attempted to duck the paparazzi while in route to her Los Angeles home last night. The messy messengers attribute her sudden case of camera shyness to an acne problem but she was probably just caught off guard by their presence for fucking once. It’s a strange turn of events when photogs just pop up without you calling them first. Cut the girl some slack, geesh.

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Star Tracks: Ciara Heads To The Studio

ciara studio Star Tracks: Ciara Heads To The Studio

If you were in need of any more proof that Ciara is the secret spawn of Wanda Sykes look no further! According to Rap-Up she has been  recording her new album in Los Angeles with The Dream and his songwriting partner Christopher “Tricky” Stewart. And all this time I just thought she was only playing second fiddle to Kim Kardashian. Girl, you know how to multitask and things!

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Quick Quotes: Lloyd On Ciara

Image21 Quick Quotes: Lloyd On Ciara

High noon is the best time for shade! The mascot for the Cleveland Indians recently spoke to Hip Hop Weekly about his displeasure for Uncle Cecil’s new persona. Take a number, Lloyd.

“I don’t fuck with Hollywood bitches and she’s like one of the chicks that’s just changed along the way with the fame and the money and all of that. I don’t really get down with her anymore on some real shit. The truth hurts, but it will set you free. But I wish her all the best.”

That Fantasy Ride On Marta Ain’t Over Yet Bitches!

Uncle Cecil is living to fight another fucking day.

Just when she was about to accept a job down at the beauty supply store as a lace front go-getter the opportunity to make a few extra dollars by sharing her, um, “craft” presented itself. Ain’t God good?

Although she is twerking for car insurance money [the coverage on that Lambo don't come cheap] and refill cards for her cell phone at this point, I appreciate her for hustling that ass instead of giving it away for free. Here she is grabbing her life by the horns, performing at the Audi Best Buddies Challenge at Hearst Castle in Cali on Saturday.

Tuck Game Proper!

ciara gap Tuck Game Proper!

Uncle Ciecil and her peek-a-boo wig are featured in an ad for Gap’s Perfect Skinny Jean and 40th Anniversary. Why you ask? ‘Cause that fantasy ride on Marta ain’t over yet. Werk, queen, werk.

As I previously mentioned on Twitter when I was a youngin’ one of the pervys at my junior high school told me that Gap stood for Good Ass Pussy and the sentiment has stayed with me since.