As of this very moment record sales are obsolete. Nothing says fan dedication quite like defacing your ass cheeks with a Sharpie in the name of your favorite entertainer.
Chris Brown cemented his status as the most envied creature in the enchanted forest by proclaiming his royalty yesterday.
Chops And Hops, a steakhouse located in the heart of Buttfuck, Georgia, has a long tradition of giving menu items tongue-and-cheek names after celebrities. But many customers lost their appetite after the restaurant posted a photo on its Twitter and Facebook profiles on Friday (March 23) of a burger with the following caption:
“Well we were going to do @TimTebow today but decided to trade for a sure thing this week. Instead @chrisbrown, @rihanna and us teamed up for a award winning celebrity sandwich. Put your hands on this caribbean black and bleu sandwich. Caribbean spiced marinated sliced ribeye blackened then look out for the bleu cheese, sliced tomato, silver Lamborghini onions, and shredded romaine. Chris Brown won’t beat you up for eating this unless your name starts with a R and ends with A.”
The shade of it all.
“Some of you stans are the worst thing since Lucifer’s last song.” Agreed. Kid Fury sets the Rihanna Navy and Team Breezy straight following the recent threats made to Kurriculum’s life.
Father Curry Goat has nothing but kind words for Chris Brown.
PHOTOS: Rihanna Hits The Streets In London
“Chris is a nice guy and everybody’s entitled to make mistakes in their life. God knows how many I’ve made,” Ronald Fenty told Heat magazine. “She’s her own woman now.”
But the fatherly talk didn’t stop there. He tells the publication that he inspired daughter Rihanna’s svelte figure by having a kee kee or three at the expense of her weight.
“When I saw her this time, I thought she was back to her normal size. I used to joke with her, ‘Robyn, you’re getting too fat!’ But I think she’s fine, I think she looked excellent, as everyone saw, at the Grammys. She’s dieting, she’s working out.”
It should be noted that the following gossip blurb comes from the fortress of journalistic truth known as the National Enquirer and therefore should be taken with a grain of salt. Or rice. Or rice cake crumb. Whichever you prefer, just know that it’s not worth getting your panty liner in a bunch over.
According to the rumor mill Chris Brown’s girlfriend Karcoochie Train delivered an ultimatum to the enchanted forest’s hottest commodity after find racy text messages from ex-flame Rihanna.