“I ain’t going to take too much of your time because these hoes don’t deserve it anyway.”
If I had a single strand of Outre velvet remi yaki for every time I’ve uttered that under my breath before logging into WordPress to draft posts for this godforsaken website, I would be 80 quick weaves deep into the game right now instead of just 12.
My twin Kid Fury reads Keri Hilson and Chris Brown their final rights in his latest video. Press play and be blessed.
He sings. He dances. He acts. He creates toys. He chomps through wood with ease of a power saw. And now, he offers love advice.
While partying at the Emerson Theatre in Hollywood last week, Chris Brown took to the mic to share an easy to remember gentlemen’s guide that every man must follow in order to keep their woman from straying. No need to grab the highlighter marker from your mom’s Bible tote bag. This one is going to stick to you with no problems.
If you “aren’t an insecure nigga and you let her have fun with her friends” Breezy applauds you. However, its still necessary that you tell your girl one thing.
In new video obtained by TMZ, Chris Brown blacks out on a valet in front of a Studio City, CA bowling alley over a ‘funky ass $10′.
The valet asked Rapid Beaver to pay the fee before handing him the keys to his car, but Chris refused to cough up any cash because he was only at the charity event for a short time. Breezy then threatened the valet, saying “Gimme my keys, we gonna turn this whole spot up.” Riverside, muthafucka.
What the clip doesn’t show is the poor valet guy screaming back “Caleb I’m sorry!” while clutching an Egyptian bed sheet over his bare breasts.
Chris Brown displayed the same lovable characteristics of a wooden basket full of Golden Retriever puppies at Elton John’s annual Oscar viewing party on Sunday. Brace yourself, an explosion of glitter and pastel colored balloons should occur at any second now through the screen of your electronic weapon of choice.
In other CB related news, he has opened up about his reunion with Rihanna, calling his 2009 assault the “deepest regret” of his life.
“Sometimes you fight with the one you love and things get said, stuff spirals. That night was the deepest regret of my life, the biggest mistake,” Breezy, who is still on probation for the attack, told Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper.
“But she loves me – what can I say? I’m forgiven but, yes, I worked hard for it.”
Brown also waved off Seth McFarlane’s cringe-worthy joke in which he compared the brutal undertone of ‘Django Unchained’ to an evening out on the town with his life-size Cynthia Doll.