Chris Brown launched into yet on another Twitter rant last night, this time about bearing the brunt of racism in the enchanted forest. You know, the usual “you niggas don’t know my life” rhetoric. I’m playing the saddest song on the world’s smallest violin right now.
Enough of this shit. Will someone please lure that man to an empty corner with a jumbo size coloring book and 10-count pack of Kool-Aid jammers already?
Trivia time: What happens when you dab Pancake 31 on the part of a second generation lace front wig to make it look more “realistic” and fail miserably at the task? Discover the answer to that question and more on this upcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag U.
For now, please enjoy more candid shots of Nicki Minaj and Chris Brown on the music video set of some song I’ve never heard. Look at me, defying the odds placed against me by society and shit without being verbally chastised by Bill Cosby.
As luck (or the magical pull from Mama Breezy’s latest drawstring ponytail, hmmm) would have it, Chris Brown’s on-again girlfriend Karreuche Tran and his ex Rihanna narrowly missed each other last week while partying at the same Hollywood nightclub. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
Reports claim that Karcinogens did not feel compelled to make an exit when the melodic goat whisperer arrived at Playhouse nightclub on Friday night. I’m right there with you, girl. My heart pumps Pimp C quotes, not kool-aid.
“It wasn’t awkward at all for Karrueche because Rihanna and her friends don’t scare her. I mean, if Rihanna ever wanted to talk to Karrueche or say something to her, Kae would be all right with that and would have a conversation,” a source told HollywoodLife.com.
Chris Brown may not do right when playing with Roc Nation’s favorite Cynthia Doll but when it comes to his on-again off-again girlfriend Crash Bandicoot, he is in for a rude awakening.
After performing at Hot 97′s Summer Jam concert on Sunday night, the second coming of Michael Jackson (let Mama Breezy and her Alize enduced Twitter rants tell it) did what every chicken nugget colored nigga with a substantial amount of money in the bank does — invited some hoes to his tour bus.
Fist Brown extended an invite to all of his fans on Twitter to the after-party, writing “Come join me at the ZING Vodka after party at EVR NYC tonight.”
A source close to the situation spoke exclusively to Hollywood Life about what went on over the weekend.
“He ain’t fucking around on Karrueche,” the source explains. “He was on the party bus kicking back and most of the bitches that came up was there trying to be groupies.”
Kookie Crisp allegedly didn’t want the girls to participate in the Body Party, telling CB’s bodyguard to kick them off the bus before she climbed on.
Recently promotion for the BET Awards ’13 has been about as quiet as Olivia’s career, so we were hoping they hadn’t secretly cancelled it. Thankfully, President of Music Programming and Specials Stephen G. Hill heard our cries and blessed us with a sign.
Host Chris Tucker along with
the leader of the Golden Lords Chris Brown, Kendrick Lamar, Tamar Braxton, and Cadillac Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Charlie Wilson were all present at the Icon Ultra Lounge in Los Angeles yesterday to share details about this year’s show at a press conference.
The World Wide Wang erupted drunk ass uncle style after fake news site The Onion published an article with the headline ‘Heartbroken Chris Brown Always Thought Rihanna Was Woman He’d Beat To Death’ today.
Baseball bat in hand, Mama Breezy (sans drawstring ponytail) was spotted inside an underground parking garage with Vaseline smeared across her face 15 minutes after the story went live on the website, according to multiple sources.
Not really, but I can’t be that far off.
“After revealing yesterday that he had recently split up with longtime girlfriend Rihanna, a heartbroken Chris Brown tearfully told reporters that he always thought the 25-year-old singer was going to be the woman he’d beat to death one day,” begins the satirical piece.
Read the rest inside the cut.
Spotted: Rihanna Attends The Chicago Bulls Vs Brooklyn Nets Playoff Game
Not every nubian white queen is fawning over Chris Brown. The mystery blonde that was photographed partying alongside Breezy at L.A.’s Playhouse nightclub says that she doesn’t pose any real threat to his relationship with Rihanna because when she peruses the buffet of life she will reach for a ladle of vanilla peen over chocolate every time. This ain’t ‘Black Snake Moan’, its real life.
“I am always Chris’ waitress. I know him and am friends￼ with his friends. Nothing has ever happened. I just work there,” cocktail waitress Keisha Kimball tells TMZ. “In the photos, he was handing me a bottle to drink out of. Of course people are going to twist it another way. I don’t go for black guys.”
The 22-year-old booty meat model adds, “Whatever is going on between Rihanna and Chris Brown is between them. I’m not trying to be a home wrecker.”
Keisha says that Rabid Beaver is normally a generous tipper but was stingy with his coins last weekend. So, you know what that means. More money for Mama Breezy’s drawstring ponytail collection! You will be alright, ma’am. With a name like Keisha you will live to fight another day. It was written.