You didn’t open up your eyes in a parallel universe called 2007 this morning. Cheri Dennis and her mighty mustache won’t be denied! After temporarily escaping from Diddy’s toothpick crypt earlier this week she strutted on the runway for SACHIKA’s Spring 2011 Ready-To-Wear collection.

I just love it when posts piggy back off of each other. God bless The Bocks for sharing and caring! Now lets all synchronize our watches to countdown when Bossip is going to snatch this one up.

Bad Boy Records is quickly becoming the number one destination for all things glowstick carrier related. I’m not sure how old or recent these flicks are because I don’t keep up with Cheri Dennis nor her mustache like that. And neither should you.I’m glad to see her still scratching and surviving though!

Today’s commercial break is being brought to you by Chris Brown’s pow chain, Jamie Foster Brown’s Sacagawea braids and Diddy saying “fuck the recession I’m still investing” while holding all of his artists checks for an extended period of time.

Blame my inner whore for propaganda but Cassie’s little buzz cut has grown on me slowly . . . like a fungus. I still don’t know why she is here or what purpose she serves outside of being Diddy’s sexual concubine but I will wait until Kim Porter joins Twitter to find the answer.

Cassandra took a leave of absence from the toothpick crypt to host a party in New York City over the weekend. Cheri Dennis and her mustache were left outside in the cold since they both failed to email their names to be added to the guest list. Nobody told them to show up after midnight anyway. Tough tittay!

Epiphany time! As long as there are whores for propaganda running wild in the streets I will never be out of a job and fuckery will continue to be epicenter of our world.

Cassie is still screwing the boss, much to the chagrin of Kim Porter. Diddy and Madame Glowsticks were photographed [separately] outside of Deluxe night in Beverly Hills club last night. One could argue that being seen out in at the same spot isn’t enough concrete evidence for the fucking claim but, eh, why would you defend either parties to begin with?

Enjoy the low life while you can, Ventura. Once he has sucked your soul dry you will be splitting shifts with Cheri Dennis at Tire Kingdom.

But first, can we talk about Day 26 having an album release party at the Ed Hardy store?  We are still walking around looking like we are in Las Vegas? If your name is not Dennis Rodman I can’t let you get away with this.

Relevancy in the entertainment business hasn’t been kind to Cheri Dennis as of late, so she put down her microphone and picked up some glowsticks. If someone would have sent me a text message on Saturday asking me if I had saw her half shaven head yet I would understand.

Her last album went double tampon string, ya’ll. She has every right to be walking around this momofuka looking like the lost member of Full Force, but instead she just looks like the token Black girl at a rave.

Girl, you so xed out!

Normally I don’t go around plugging artists all willy-nilly without receiving a check first for it but please visit your local bootleg man and support D. Woods! I know she has felt this economic crunch five times over with Diddy holding everybody in Danity Kane’s [minus Dawn] checks.

You know he told Cheri Dennis not to mail that girl her W-2 form yet! While everybody is riding around in their new Charger with a paper tag she is stuck on Marta with Souljah Girl. That ain’t right.

VISIT FREDDY O FOR MORE FLICKS

This is the natural pecking order in my universe: Khia, Rich Boy [I still believe], Justine Simmons’ stretch marks, Jesus and everybody else. It’s been a minute since I have dedicated an entry to love advice from the Thug Misses but greatness takes time.  Why do you think it took Cheri Dennis so long to drop her album? Patience is a momofukin’ virtue.

Mother Wisdom should make her congregation repeat this while doing the stanky leg. I can hear the crashing thunders of tambourines and hand claps right now. Shouts out to Miami Greg for this ray of sunshine!

I know I said I wouldn’t post any more videos of random zestlemen performing “Single Ladies” but I think I can make an exception for Teyana Taylor. Work it out Pound Puppy! See, if Cheri Dennis would have done this shit she would be as big as Kizzy Rowland in the UK but nooooo . . .

Diddy used the Promote The Vote Block Party as an excuse to dig deep into his box of dusty Vote or Die t-shirts. Don’t blame him blame Cheri Dennis. She should be held responsible for all things that go awry in the tooth pick crypt.

Jay-Z along with his jockey, Mary J. Blige and Kevin Liles hyped up the Philly crowd at the last minute voter push.

Are peace signs are the secret official hand gesture for irrelevancy?

First we had Blackberry Molasses come by and sweep the floor with his pussy now Cheri Dennis and Yung Wyndex make a cameo at a fashion show. Today has really shaped up to be pretty fucking awesome, right?

Cheri escaped Diddy’s tooth pick crypt long enough to make an appearance at the Southpole Stay In School Fashion Show in New York City. Let the record show that no one over the age of 18 years old should ever be caught rocking that shit. Email me for more rules and guidelines.

But I digress.

Cheri still has that cherry kool-aid hued hair and mean mustache. I’m mad her top lip has more hair than all the members of Team Wackout.