Swizz Beats Wants To Place Mashonda In A Legal Choke Hold

Posted on

swizz mashonda bobby.thumbnail Swizz Beats Wants To Place Mashonda In A Legal Choke Hold

Bobby Brown always seems to add to my journalistic credibility in one form or another. I really should cut the man a check or at least allow him to sleep on my sofa for one night.

But I digress.

After bragging about Alicia Keys cooking him breakfast butt ass naked on the remix of “Best I Ever Had” Swizz Beats has requested a court-approved gag order in the divorce proceedings with the beautiful and talented [ahem] Mashonda.

You bitch you.

Mashonda is arguably one of the supreme vocalist of our generation. She sung the hook on “Get No Better” and some random song on La Bella Mafia. That’s no way to treat a queen of that magnitude.

Continue reading →

Just Being Bobby Brown

Posted on

55277727415200911659pm.thumbnail Just Being Bobby Brown

I read the most dreadful gossip tidbit this morning on Rhymes With Snitch about the kang of rocks & blunts. After enjoying a nice hot satisfying meal at a New York City pizzeria [hope it wasn't Dominos] with his kids our hero realized that he didn’t have any cash on him before running out to hit up an ATM machine. No biggie smalls, right? Well, I am sure you know how the rest of this story ends but if not let me tell you. He came up empty on that shit too!

Heads in the restaurant say that Bobby called his got on his cell phone and yelled [presumably at his manager] “where the fuck is my money?” repeatedly.

Now Bobby knows that he has too many kids to be trying to divide the pie – - literally. He should have done one of these numbers.

Don’t Be Cruel

Posted on

wenn2367183.thumbnail Dont Be Cruel

Bobby Brown attended Bill Bellamy’s [talk about a face from the milk carton] Las Vegas birthday party over the weekend in all his crack bloat glory. I am still clutching my pearls rosary beads that his child with girlfriend Alicia Etheridge doesn’t come into this world looking like Remy from Ratatouille. Maybe, just maybe a miracle will occur and her genes will cancel his out.

But don’t count on it.

The “You Are In My Personal Bubble And Publicity Flicks” Side-Eye

Posted on

57098949kdanick412009124432PM The You Are In My Personal Bubble And Publicity Flicks Side Eye

Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon isn’t buying whatever meth and glowstick products Taylor Momsen is trying to sell! Take notes kids, this is the proper technique for giving a hoe the direct side-eye without them ever noticing. Not that you care or anything, you gangsta bitch you.

Judging from the slight Bobby Brown inspired twist in her mouth Adrienne is a veteran at giving the evil glare. You don’t see side-eyes executed like this everyday. She may not be able to act worth a damn but bravo to her for being able to stare directly into a bitch’s soul!

MORE FLICKS FROM NYLON’S 10TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY

Hijacked: Bobby Brown is old [but not visibly intoxicated!]

Posted on

The King of Rocks & Blunts performed with old pals Johnny Gill and Ralph Tresvant for the Stimulus Package Swagger concert at the Nokia Theater in New York on Thursday night. My little Wet Wet Rich had the pleasure of viewing the grand occasion live.

It turns out that there is great joy to be had watching a seemingly sober Bobby (or close enough, considering the displays through the years that he’s deemed fit for public consumption). His new-found respectable behavior was as weird as any drunken fit — I never thought I’d see the day that Bobby would tell a female concertgoer to stop touching him as her hands flip-flopped around his crotch. Now I can die enriched, I suppose.

The only truly cringe-worthy moment is the one you see above, when his back went out during a stripped-down version of “Jealous Girl.” I’m not entirely convinced that this was sincere. It may have been just a bit of theater for our entertainment. In Bobby’s head, is there even a difference between sincerity and theater at this point?

And Baby Makes Three . . . Well, Technically Five

Posted on

image2.thumbnail And Baby Makes Three . . . Well, Technically Five image31.thumbnail And Baby Makes Three . . . Well, Technically Five image42.thumbnail And Baby Makes Three . . . Well, Technically Five

I’m going to be honest with you. I think Bobby Brown needs another child as much as I need a hole in my damn head, but its not my life.

The King of Rocks & Blunts is expecting his first child with [see, that one word changes the whole game] girlfriend / manager Alicia Etheridge. This will be his fifth child and as far as his old lady goes, well, I don’t know the broad so I couldn’t tell you how many crumb snatchers she has already, if any.

“Yes, Bobby is expecting his fifth child from Alicia. There aren’t too many details out there right now, but we do know he is very excited, as Bobby is big on family. The sex of the baby is not known yet, and we can confirm she is four months along,” his agent tells Usmagazine.com

I hope the couple sells the first pictures of the baby to Wildlife Today. Congratulations kids! Here’s to hope that Nippy will be the fairy godmother. It’s not impossible.

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Posted on

purplemediamania370.thumbnail Your Daily Tang Multivitamin purplemediamania370.thumbnail Your Daily Tang Multivitamin purplemediamania370.thumbnail Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

You see the outfit! Get you a piece whore!

Just when I was about to check myself in the same halfway house as Michael Vick after watching Aunt Viv’s psychic friend commercial I logged on The YBF and read that tangmaster Dwight Eubanks from The Real Hood Rats of Bankhead will indeed star in his own reality series!

Continue reading →