If you see a creole hanging their head in sorrow today know that it has nothing to do with Queen Crab Etouffee offering her sacred honey bun to an unworthy trout and everything to do with the following.
If parts of the new Lady Gaga/Beyoncé Video Telephone ring a bell with gay porn fans, it’s because two high-profile gay porn movies (Big Rig from Buckshot and Dare from Falcon) were filmed on the very same set. We hope they wiped off Jason Crew’s butt juice off this banquette before Beyoncé sat in it.
You can read more about the connection over at The Gossip Jacker [NSFW] but please be advised of Jason Colby Taylor’s sausage vying for a spotlight on Food Network. Guys Big Bite, indeed!
Never mind that blasphemous shade of red lipstick. See Al Sharpton’s face.
MTV News Reports:
The Brooklyn Steppers Marching Band led the way into the press conference, which took place at Brooklyn’s Atlantic Yards. Jay walked in with Beyoncé, standing out in a crowd that included the Reverend Al Sharpton, New York Governor David Paterson and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg.
“What I stand here and represent is hope for Brooklyn, New York City. I’m a son of Brooklyn, I’m from Marcy projects.” Jay said. “I think about growing up in Brooklyn in the Marcy projects and shooting jump shots, thinking I can make it to the NBA. Now I stand here as an owner of team that’s coming back to Brooklyn. The pride in that, and bringing that dream so much closer for people, brings me so much pride I get a little nervous about it. But I’m very happy, very excited about this day. And we did it again Brooklyn — shout out to [Notorious] B.I.G.”
El Criollo Loco reporting for duty. Please ignore BeyStiality’s Cowardly Lion wig and hold on to your own, because this news is finna knock you on your asses.
Crackheads everywhere rejoice! Get to your nearest rehab facility and sign up for classes at the Beyonce Cosmetology Center. Anita Bagza Dummuny was filming Cadillac Records as Etta James (the best performance in a film since Kelly Rowland’s portrayal of Kia in Freddy v Jason) when she first visited the Phoenix House, a residential substance abuse center in Brooklyn. Jay-Z pushed crack to the fiends of Brooklyn and now Beyowulf is helping them clean up and start careers. Circle of life.
You may laugh, but soon even the drug addicts will be looking better than you complete with signature Knowles designs like Solo’s yellow eye stripe, Cousin Angie’s Fire Engine red lips, and even Kizzy’s Fraggle Rock wig.
Jay-Z and his prized yaki had a grand ol’ time laughing at random #lilwaynedeeptweets at the game between the Los Angeles Lakers and Dallas Mavericks in Queen Lobster Bisque’s home state on Wednesday. Ain’t love grand?
We fall down, but we get up. Standing on the balcony of the Pasano Hotel in Rio de Janeiro, Beyonce greeted fans and paparazzi this morning wearing Al Reynold’s Valentine’s Day gift to himself.
Visions of walking on stage to accept an Academy Award for her “outbreak” performance danced around in Beyonce’s head after giving Ali Larter a head butt during the filming of Obsessed. How dreadful.
Poor Sarah Jessica Parker. She probably doesn’t have a prayer of beating such formidable foes as Beyonce, Miley Cyrus AND Megan Fox to claim the highly coveted, gold paint-sprayed Razzie Award as worst actress of 2009.
All of the latter three divas are good examples of women who’ve “won” in the past. Fox has serious hope of prevailing because Razzie voters adore brassy sexpots like past champs Paris Hilton (“The Hottie and the Nottie”) and Sharon Stone (“Basic Instinct 2,” “Intersection,” “The Specialist”). Beyonce and Miley Cyrus might need to get an acceptance speech ready because voters also love songbirds like past victors Madonna (“Swept Away,” “The Next Best Thing,” “Body of Evidence,” “Who’s That Girl?” “Shangai Surprise”), Britney Spears (“Crossroads”) and Mariah Carey (“Glitter,” of course).
Then there is Sandra Bullock, who is having a banner awards year because she’s a front-runner to nab a golden boy on academy night. One night earlier, could she be lucky enough to add a golden raspberry to her treasure trove? [source]
Before jetting off to London to participate in the Hope For Haiti Now telethon, Queen Lobster Bisque and her dutiful purse watcher hit up an after-party to celebrate her 2010 NRJ Music Award of Honor. What really went down for them to make those faces has yet to be determined. Let’s speculate, shall we?