Quick Flicks: Solange & Juelz’s Table For Two

solo table julez Quick Flicks: Solange & Juelzs Table For Two

Time away from the wig crypt is precious.

She Who Lives In The Basement and the sole heir to the yaki empire caught a quick bite to eat under the watchful eye of the ‘razzi at the Grove in Los Angeles on Wednesday (April 7). If you turn into a pillar of salt after scanning the pictures in this post don’t blame us. The evil eye of Agnes lives!

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It Was All Good Until . . .

solo daniel It Was All Good Until . . .

Don’t get it twisted, I’m not posting these pictures just to gasp, stare, point, and analyze  Solange’s hair a day late. Frankie’s knee cap wigs supplies me with all the life I need just fine, thanks! I’m more interested in talking about the micro creole delicatessen. It seems like our little homie went from zero to sixty rather quickly.

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Quick Flicks: Baby Daniel + Them

baby d Quick Flicks: Baby Daniel + Them

Sing with me in your best auto-tune: Crunk Juice bombs, Oakley shades, shawty got class, oh behave! Baby Daniel [think of him as the Peter Pan of Crunkland, he will never age as long as I'm running this shit] did his Tee Tee and Granny the ultimate favor and let them tag along with him during a recent shopping trip in Beverly Hills. He even sported a blatant lie on his t-shirt while ducking the feds paparazzi. Solange, you’re doing a damn fine job with this youngster.

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Guys’ Night Out With Jay-Z + Diddy

game 1.thumbnail Guys Night Out With Jay Z + Diddy

Mr. Carter and Mr. Combs watched on as the Houston Rockets defeated the Los Angeles Lakers in Game 1 of the Western Conference Semifinals on Monday night. The two entrepreneur friends also partied in Las Vegas together over the weekend.

game 4.thumbnail Guys Night Out With Jay Z + Diddy

Harpo, who this kid? Baby Daniel is sharpening his shank as we speak.

game 3.thumbnail Guys Night Out With Jay Z + Diddy

game 2.thumbnail Guys Night Out With Jay Z + Diddy

The Wig Crypt Hawks Another Product

As apart of his punishment for spiking the punch at Solange’s last BBQ [I follow that ass on Twitter] Baby Daniel was forced to film a commercial for the Nintendo “Rhythm Heaven” game with Tee Tee. Feel free to bob your head to imaginary music at the 0:48 mark. I know I did.

As my friend in the head Yeti from WooHah pointed out it looks like the production crew is teaching Beyaki how to use the DS for the first time. Girl, you catch on so quick!

Style Jury: Baby [Fake] Hair

I Refuse

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama Lil\' Mama

SouthernGyrl is 100 percent correct. Train up a child in the way she should go [all the way down to the beauty supply store] and when she is old, she will not depart from it.

Operated completely under Baby Daniel’s iron fist Baby Bangs is the children’s division of the wig crypt. The wiglet / headband  is advertised as “for the girl who has everything — but hair!”

For this I weep. And you thought that baby stilletto pumps in the club was the ultimate. What’s your verdict?

Girl, You So Innovative

Solange

Solange is the creator of this 60’s girl group shit! And don’t you let anybody tell your ass different. She mold it and sold it until the white man stole it!

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Attention Please! Attention Please!

Solange Solange

Solange broke out the Creole Buffalo Soldier #38 warrior paint for her performance at the Chicago House of Blue’s on Wednesday night. Since I’ve become accustomed to this type of behavior I will refrain from making any comments referencing her love for glow sticks today.

My girl Angel from Concrete Loop was in the building and snapped a few exclusive pictures of Baby Daniel, Estelle, and a few faces from behind the monitor.  Check it out!

Star Tracks: Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys Alicia Keys Alicia Keys

I don’t know why Mashonda is allowing Alicia Keys to still be walking around town skinnin’ and grinnin’. Couldn’t be me. I would have booked an appointment with Mama Tina for a roots box as soon as I suspected some shit was going down with another broad and my man. A bowl of her finest dirty rice can go a long way. You think Baby Daniel’s sperm donor wanted to marry Solange?

Flicks of Alicia’s wardrobe change under the hood.

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Mama, I Wanna Sang!

beyocec Mama, I Wanna Sang! Beyonce has offered to bring her special brand of raw fucking emotion to President-elect Barack Obama’s inauguration ceremony in January.

Let’s see, Eli Porter rapping over the ‘A Milli’ beat > Beyonce twitching her face on all of the alphabet channels in the middle of the day.

“I’m there. I can’t wait. I feel like all of us, we’re ready to do whatever we have to do. Whatever they want — if they need me to volunteer, they need me to sing, I’m there, and I’m ready. I’ve never been so patriotic! I’m just beyond excited,” she told the Associated Press before exploding into a cloud of glitter dust.

Although she was scheduled by Papa Knowles 2.0 to have her ass in Japan promoting I Am . . . Still Trying To Prove My Versatility she decided to stay at the crypt against orders [gasps!] to watch results of the election come in.

“I said, ‘What am I doing? I’m completely making a bad decision. I have to go home, I’m gonna kill myself if I’m not home in America,’” she said. “I knew I needed to be here.”

“I fell asleep crying and smiling at the same time,” she continuted. “I woke up with mascara running and a smile on my face!”

News flash Kid Creole, those weren’t tears running down your face. That momofuka you are married to rolled over and hawked a loogie dead in your shit out of excitement. I understand where he was coming from though.

Now back to the matter at hand – - I vote hell no. We all know that Beyonce and Solange are a packaged deal. With that being said, no one is trying to listen to SoLong get her Maya Angelou on by reciting an angry poem about Baby Daniel’s sperm donor. Save that shit for MySpace.

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