Question of the Day

Posted on February 3, 2009

The Smithsonian Institution wants to put Aretha Franklin’s big-bowed inauguration hat in an exhibit that will highlight Barack Obama’s place in history as the first African-American president.

The dove-gray, wool chapeau, dominated by a massive Swarovski rhinestone-bordered bow, would be displayed alongside other inaugural items, including first lady Michelle Obama’s asymmetrical ball gown from the historic evening . . .

Aretha is still uncertain whether or not she’ll donate the hat. “I am considering it. It would be hard to part with my chapeau since it was such a crowning moment in history. I would like to smile every time I look back at it and remember what a great moment it was in American and African-American history. Ten cheers for President Obama,” she said in a statement, according to New York magazine.

And ten orders of wings, fried hard please. What are some celebrity items that you would like to see make a home at The Smithsonian? I vote for Verdine White’s silk pillow case!

Damn Vandals!

Posted on January 27, 2009

ReRe the Body is the latest celebrity to have their star on Hollywood Walk of Fame defaced by anti-fur protesters. The future [yes, still in the making] Mrs. Catfish Wilkerson’s plaque has been inscribed with the words “Fur Hag!” How dreadful!

While the Queen is most likely unfazed by the defacing there is a quiet peace in Mary J. Blige’s fur crypt today. While a little scribbling with a marker will never be able to wash all of the blood off of Kendu’s hands it did provide a bit of solace to K-Ci. And in the end, that’s all that matters.

In more pleasant news related to Aretha Franklin, the now-famous bow-tied, Swarovski-crystal church lady hat that she wore at the inauguration last week is in high demand by tacky women and vintage zestlemen around the world! Click here to read about the man who is responsible for the design.

You Sent It: Man places ad on Craigslist for Aretha look alike

Posted on January 20, 2009

Hey Fresh,

I’m a cyber stalker that comes to your site everyday. You are hilarious! Anyway, I know that you rep Aretha Franklin all day every day, and while I was casually searching on Craigslist for someone who accepts my Team Chunk status [I see you over there, freak! - - Fresh], I stumbled upon a man who wants a perfect replica of THE QUEEN in all her glory. I don’t know about you, but he gets cool points with me! [Click here to view ad]

- – Daughter Of Strategy

Cassie: I’m No ReRe The Body!

Posted on November 19, 2008

cassie11 Cassie: Im No ReRe The Body! Two years after her piss poor live performance of “Me And U” on 106 & Park Cassie is still defending her vocal skills.

“I think more than anything, people were mean. I couldn’t ask for things to go any other type of way. I don’t regret how it went, and there was a reason why that happened. But at the same time I have to take the blow for it,” Cassie tells All Hip Hop. “That was my own fault for not being prepared and not saying anything to anyone when I knew that I wasn’t. I’ve gone in with my vocal coach.”

She added, “I’ve made it clear to people that I’m not Aretha Franklin. They’re going to see me perform and entertain, but they’re not going to see my blow. I wouldn’t ever take credit for anything like that. It’s just not what I do. I’ve gone in and have tried to develop it. Either running on the treadmill and singing and doing whatever I have to do to prove to people because second chances are rare. I’ve definitely gotten one, so I’m going for it. I’m going for mine.”

Damn right you’re not Aretha! You well never look as good as her in a two piece. You will never be able to wear an entire woolly mammoth fur coat and pull it off with grace.

But most importantly you don’t have Catfish Wilkerson by your side holding you down when she gets rough. You have Diddy. Enough said.

Hijacked: Quick Question

Posted on November 10, 2008

Please let this be a misunderstanding, please let this be a misunderstanding. From my original bust it baby, Kid Fury:

Who approved this?

Just when black folk were doing a little better; I was done for the day, but you know when this Marvel comic book treachery crossed my screen, I decided it needed to be confronted. First of all, the whole Whitney “comeback” never sounded serious to me. I know Aretha Franklin had a few laughs over the hamhocks just thinking about it. So, this…wow!

The cover itself is priceless. They got Sister Whit’s body Photochopped & Screwed like her last name is Carey. She has her 1999 Naomi Campbell weave in and that pose gives much crimefighter. I can’t do you today, girl. I can’t.

News Break

Posted on October 3, 2008

The mayor of a Kansas town issued an apology Thursday for appearing as a drag-queen in blackface last weekend as part of a fundraising event, according to the local chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP).

Arkansas City Mayor Mel Kuhn participated in and won a drag queen contest held as part of an annual fund raiser sponsored by Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), an agency that supports foster children in the court system.

Kuhn appeared dressed as a character which he called “Smellishis Poon,” with his face painted dark for the event.

But Kuhn told FOXNews.com that he was not in blackface, but in “tanface,” and did not intend to offend anyone.

“Blackface is shoepolish,” he said. “That’s not what I did. I dressed up to win and because it was so hilarious.”

Continue reading →

Respect The Queen

Posted on August 1, 2008

Aretha Franklin got no respect at Art for Life. The out-of-shape Queen of Soul was “out of it” as she was helped out of the event at Russell Simmons’ East Hampton estate a few days back. “It took five people,” said our witness. “She was dressed in an off-white, low-cut shirt and pantsuit with jacket and pearls. She was just oblivious to what was going on.” A rep for Franklin said, “You are completely misinformed.” [source]

I’m going to need Page Six Six Six to clarify what being “out of it” really is. If its what I think it is it has nothing to do with ReRe the Body but everything to do with Uncle Russell not catering for the appropriate number of people. I’ve been known to have dramatic cunt fallouts just so I can leave baby showers if there isn’t enough food laid out.

* You may have to adjust the contrast of your monitor to see it but if you look really hard you can spot Vatfish Wilkerson giving his woman the side-eye.