Did you catch Terrell Owens on the premiere of ‘Iyanla Fix My Invisible Part’ this weekend? The former NFL star returned to his hometown of Alexander City, Alabama for a heart-to-heart with Iyanla Vanzant about his personal and financial crisis.
The queen of over-enunciation kicked off their first session by asking T.O. about what went wrong in his life. Despite being in peak athletic condition, he hasn’t seen action in a regular-season game since 2010 — and says his world has been falling apart.
We all have that one friend.
They have access to our Netflix usernames and passwords, begin most general phrases with “I know this muthafuckin’ ain’t just”, has the ability to convert EBT swipes to cash without missing a beat, and always keeps a sandwich bag inside their Coogi purse for the sole intent of the unlawful transportation of Gummi Bears from the dessert buffet at Golden Corral.
We may walk 50 yards ahead of them during shopping excursions and hold conversations through messages on Facebook instead of commenting out in the open because we doubt if Luanne Schultz from human resources can fully appreciate their colorful musings on how a police road block tossed a monkey wrench in their scheduled trip to the weed man but we love, honor and obey them without ever raising question. Not out of fear. But out of respect for ourselves. Because really, who wants to wear the cloak of shame that is detailing a physical confrontation about a misunderstanding over ranch flavored sunflower seeds?
We tuck away our pride because we know that if shit were to ever pop off inside the bathroom at $2 Tuesdays they would be right there, Four Loko mimosa in hand, ready to stomp a mud hole in a bitch for us.
A true friendship that will span a lifetime. If you feel like calling in to work and staying home to watch ‘Beaches’ I fully understand.
Get the hood legislature on the phone. The dope boy approved rap lyric “You know I keep that white girl, Christina Aguilera” may need to be updated to include Lady Gaga because it takes more then pixie sticks and Mountain Dew to come up with this type of look.
Call this a reach but I appreciate Lady Gaga for showing her appreciation of Black culture beyond the month of February by borrowing a pair of Booty Collin’s shoes, Kordell Stewart’s dress socks, Max Julien’s hat, 2 Chainz’s shirt, and NeNe Leakes’ original set of teeth.
Saints, slip on your holy ghost shouting shoes. Fantasia‘s appearance at the opening night for ‘After Midnight’ is a living testimony that mountains can be moved through God’s grace and a long hot bleach bath. I’m waving my funeral home sponsored church fan.
Tasia Mae better stay away from T-Mobile stores if she plans on looking this good for the long haul. Trust, somebody’s ain’t shit husband (read: Apollo Nidia) is ready to follow her home and plant wet kisses on each one of those prison tattoos of hers. My advice would be to stay away on the Sprint Network until she is ready to go back on pregnancy hiatus. Mess around and get rawed on sight, girl.
‘The Real Housewives of Atlanta’ returned with a drama-filled premiere on Sunday night. NeNe is Mrs. Leakes again, Porsha is striking out on her own, Phaedra is still “working like a Hebrew slave” focusing on her brand new baby and house, Cynthia is all about handling her business, Kandi is trying to find the balance between family and love and Kenya is to The A serving her usual her stunt queen antics and greasy Fashion Fair beat.
Whew chile! My back fat is sweating just trying to take it all in. Head over to Amy Traphouse to watch the full episode.
All you bitches are Onika’s sons and she is making sure to remind you every chance she gets.
After surprising fans at the Power 105.1′s Powerhouse concert with a four song set in New York City on Saturday night, Nicki Minaj let it be known that she intends to stick to her hip-hop roots — and while you are checking receipts, that she is both Queen and King of New York.
“I’m probably in the top five of the niggas he did mention, so go and do your muthafuckin’ research,” she told The Breakfast Club crew of Kendrick Lamar‘s “Control” verse. “But, I also feel like he maybe one of those respectful gentlemen that probably felt like ‘I don’t want to say a female’s name.’ Or maybe he just don’t think the kid is ill. But the kid knows the kid is ill, so I don’t need to be on anybody’s dick.”
“I’m the queen of New York. I’m the king of New York. Let me tell you why. Platinum albums. Albums plural. Number one in five muthafuckin’ countries, nigga,” she continued. “Don’t play with me. You better respect my muthafuckin’ gangsta, bitch. When you got an album that goes number one in Japan, the UK, Australia, America and Canada at the same muthafuckin’ time, then you can speak my muthafuckin’ name.” She later clarified her comments by tweeting that she considers Jay-Z to be The Rotten Apple’s king.
What everyone should be buzzing about is the way she conduct herself like true royalty by posing for pictures while holding cheap alcohol in an environment conducive with the Sweaty Black Club culture.
Fresh: Lil Kim’s career relaunch has had more false starts than the 1989 Geo Metro Evelyn Lozada is trying to convince people that her mama still drives around the Bronx “because she wants to.” Do you think her new video for “Looks Like Money” will be enough to bring her back?
Christian: Back to the unemployment office. I wanna know which currency she is trying to compare herself to.
Fresh: And what is the actual amount?
CLICKS AROUND THE WEB: Lil Kim Takes The Stage At Power 105.1′s Powerhouse Concert With Kendrick Lamar
I totally missed the memo that noted celebrity tank top bedazzler Sheree Whitfield closed out the season of TV One’s docu-series ‘Life After’. I’ve really got to sit down and go through all of the fucks that I have been meaning to donate to the less fortunate. We are all God’s children.
Now, the non-shade is that the new season of ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ premieres tonight at 8PM — and it’s waaaay more interesting than staring at faded pictures in a broken glass of Bob Whitfield’s eyes looking like the Pop-O-Matic bubble from the Headache board game.
Watch NeNe Leakes threaten to whip out the throbbing piece of meat hanging between her thighs and pee inside Kenya Moore‘s champagne glass as well as a trailer of the drama set to unfold this season after the jump!