Melyssa Ford and Jon B killed a bird with one big ass stone by having a birthday / album release party earlier this week. You see, times really are hard. Random negras from the CW [collect em all!] were in the building attempting to get the only type of exposure Wireimage.com can provide.

I wonder if the no neck member of Dru Hill is available to perform at my Mama’s birthday party later this month. I’m not trying to map his schedule out but I would imagine he really ain’t got shit else to do. Just an educated guess.

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I never understand why some people just don’t fade to black and stay the fuck there. Le sigh.

Former B2K member Lil’ Fizz sat down with one of your cousins from your mama’s side to
tell some wack ass story about running into Omarion and being “down” with the Bloods and Crips.
He also goes in on Raz-B by calling him “gay ass nigga.”

This shit is almost as sad as running into the star quarterback from high school pushing shopping carts in Wal-Mart’s parking lot with his varsity jacket on - - seven years after graduation.

Are peace signs are the secret official hand gesture for irrelevancy?

First we had Blackberry Molasses come by and sweep the floor with his pussy now Cheri Dennis and Yung Wyndex make a cameo at a fashion show. Today has really shaped up to be pretty fucking awesome, right?

Cheri escaped Diddy’s tooth pick crypt long enough to make an appearance at the Southpole Stay In School Fashion Show in New York City. Let the record show that no one over the age of 18 years old should ever be caught rocking that shit. Email me for more rules and guidelines.

But I digress.

Cheri still has that cherry kool-aid hued hair and mean mustache. I’m mad her top lip has more hair than all the members of Team Wackout.

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Black Fran Drescher and Keyshia Cole were suppose to celebrate their birthdays together at Arena in West Hollywood last night until it finally dawned on KeyLoLo that Ashanti was irrelevant as fuck and she decided not to show up.

Or at least that’s how things played out in my mind. Knowing Keyshia she probably hit the scene two hours late with her entourage [read: Frankie, Neffie, and "her sister"] only to discover lil’ sister Shi Shi sneaking trays of food back to her ride. Better luck next time.

[Negro please snatched from A Hot Mess - - come back already!]

PigPen [aka Jim Jones for those not in the know] is really feeling himself. I mean really, really feeling himself. The only thing missing is a bottle of lotion and hand towel, and we know this dirty dick tragedy doesn’t own either.

“All these n*gg*s have been around and they still not doing nothing. They trying to catch up to me right now, literally. I’m the point of interest right now. Who’s been more relevant than me the past three years as far as New York is concerned? As far as style, fashion, speakin’ my mind, political awareness and stuntin’ on n*gg*s. Ladies love me. Police know my name on a first and last basis. They respect me for a [being a] G. They ain’t trying to lock me up for weed, so I’m having a ball. I probably smoke like a half an ounce a day. N*gg*s know how instrumental I am to New York. There’s no one gonna be able to do what I’ve done as far as the work I’ve put in, the things I’ve accomplished, and the things I’ve escaped unscathed for another 20 years. I don’t have to have nothing out and I still shut sh*t down. Me and Juelz go on any stage in the world and shut the whole thing down.”

“He’s really loving being Mr. Jennifer Hudson. I think he’s loving the lavish things she brings to his life, he’s seeing the world due to Jennifer’s success. [But] can you love this person if they lose all of this tomorrow? She needs to find out. I just hope people are marrying each other for the right reasons.”

“He’ll be in her shadow like Al Reynolds was to Star Jones, like Stedman Graham is to Oprah. When we were in Miami together, he didn’t even try anything [on me]! Maybe I wasn’t his type, maybe I wasn’t big enough for him.”

- - Tiffany “New York” Pollard talks to In Touch Weekly about Jennifer Hudson’s engagement to former I Love New York 2 contestant Punk

Backpack, backpack! I’m assuming this photo was snapped moments before Maino made his hands beat up Yung Turd’s face at an ATL night club last week. I don’t blame  the guy for giving that replica Dora the Explorer backpack the side-eye glance.

[Flick via Straight From The A]

According to Ill Seed from AHH Rumors, Mya is having such a hard time with her music career in the states that she has decided to release an album in Japan hooting and hollering in the native tongue. The singer is allegedly trying to appeal to a different market that will hopefully appreciate her more.

Right.

I mean, its better than her current gig [pressure washing houses and drive ways] but I’m not completely sold on the idea that Japanese fans will “appreciate” her more. If everything works out for her expect other artists to follow suit. A check is and will always be a check.