You didn’t think Trina’s after school special about the dangers of sexting was going to air without a special guest appearance from Thug Misses, did you?
Like A Rhinestone Cowboy
This is what winning the lottery must feel like.
If I were to walk away from WordPress right now and never look back it would be okay because I got my life handed to me with the promise of making it inside the pearly gates. Verdine White gave us all another reason to press on when he was spotted by the paparazzi living and twirling while exiting Barney’s on Friday. Prepare to fight to the death over the bulge in his pants like it was the last slice of holiday ham. You just thought you were going to come in and take it didn’t you?
What ya’ll niggas want? Can’t touch. © Eve Jihan Jeffers
*The last two posts are in no shape or form shade to Michelle Williams. It’s all pure coincidence, really.
Call That Bitch Bojangles © Ying Yang Twins
Who the fuck is Veronica Lake? Get into the hair for a moment.
Now chew this ass.
After watching her 2009 Grammy Special my respect for Katie Couric runs deep. Anybody capable of walking away unscathed after sitting across from The Pussy Monster in a hotel room deserves all the riches this side of creation has to offer. But long before [okay, three years] she was introduced to Dwayne Carter our friend in the head was already familiar with the term pussy popping.
Today’s Phrase That Pays: Every Blue Moon Bitch
Facebook can be a great tool for connecting with old friends and laughing at what other people have become. And then there is the potential hoe shit aspect. Two middle school teachers were arrested on Monday morning after fighting over – - you guessed it – - community dick in front of students. Chaka Cobb and Ebony Smith exchange blows after the women learned they both were involved with the same male teacher, who also teaches at the school.
Talk show shit.
Cobb, who told police she is expecting a child with the man, said she found a letter from Smith on the man’s Facebook page.
“I am in love with you. I am tired of being your every blue moon [expletive],” the letter read.
Cobb responded on Facebook with a “tumultuous” message, police said.
On Monday morning, the fight moved from Facebook to the school halls. That’s where Smith approached Cobb and told her to “never do that again,” the report states.
Cobb summoned an assistant principal, but the fight didn’t stop.
Instead, it spilled into a classroom where Smith began to swing at Cobb, the report states.
YouTube Clip of the Day
After enjoying a refreshing taste [or hit] of his vice of choice, the newly appointed Mayor of Crunkland soulfully belts out his own special rendition of Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone” in today’s clip. Why can’t my trips to the Variety Store be this eventful is the only question I ask.
I would pay my weight in hog maws and dumplings to have him make a visit to my Sunday School class and teach the children “Joyful, Joyful.”
Thanks Big Lil’ Kim!
News Break: Stripper Stabs Co-Worker In The Face With Stiletto
Perhaps Ohio exotic dancer Chetania Davis has shoes that are made for stabbing. The 22-year-old stripper has been sentenced to a year of probation for attacking a fellow exotic dancer in the face with a stiletto heel.
In a deal with prosecutors, Davis, who is eight months pregnant, pleaded guilty Tuesday in Akron to a misdemeanor assault charge.
Prosecutors say Davis used the heel to stab her 52-year-old co-worker Jo Nolan several times April 17 in the club dressing room of Club 1245, causing wounds that required seven staples. It was the older woman’s first day on the job.
Police had said she was attacked because Davis didn’t think the club needed more dancers.
Defense attorney Tom DiCaudo maintains Davis was defending herself during a fight. He says she took the plea to move on with her life.
The judge also suspended a six-month jail sentence.
Her mustache and eyebrows are already serving a suspended sentence. [source via Same Hoes Same Clothes]
Quick Quotes: Dwight Eubanks
Dwight Eubanks allowed the Atlanta Journal Constitution Home Finder inside his palatial pad for an intimate tour. Barbie’s dream house ain’t got shit on the presidential pussy headquarters. I dare you to disagree.
Killing You Hoes In Couture
“I don’t have any ‘Dwrongs’ in my wardrobe! My girlfriend Britanica Stewart says I’m a slave to fashion and that’s true,” admits Eubanks. “If it’s beautiful [and] feels good I have to have it. My mother was the first of 14, she [took] care of her siblings, she pressed their blue jeans [and] shirts. When she had kids she [stressed] that she was not pressing no more blue jeans! We were not allowed to wear blue jeans. Even when I’m cutting the grass I’m pulled together, I’m a southern gentleman.”