Gucci Makes The Snow Bunnies Go Bonkers

Posted on July 21, 2009

Thank God for small favors.

Contrary to the gossip mill Gucci Mane LeFlair isn’t trying to protect his man hood or biscuits in the big house. Rumors circulated over the weekend that he was heading back to jail after violating his probation sending him bird walking back to the slammer, prompting his attorney to release a statement denying the chitter chatter.

The only thing Gucci is guilty of is driving the snow bunnies wild! Watch and be amazed at two of your cousins [by marriage] go ape shit over his designer peen. I love chicken!

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YouTube Clip of the Day

Posted on July 20, 2009

One of your cousins from Jacksonville, Flawduh [DU-VAL!] got more than what she expected during some hot one on one time during a male revue show. Something inside of my heart tells me that Marta Girl wouldn’t have kept her composure quite the same if this happened to her.

In Case You Missed It: Karrine Steffans On The Today Show

Posted on July 16, 2009

To us Superhead is just another dick sucking [not that there is anything wrong with that] trollop trying to cash in on her past sexual exploits with athletes and celebrities but to The Today Show she is a relationship expert.

SHAM. FUCKING. WOW.

And what’s with her claiming to have two sons now? Bleh, maybe this is just another lie that she is trying to pass off as a truth.

Day Late, Dollar Short: The “How You Get Em Is How You Will Lose Em” Side-Eye

Posted on July 16, 2009

The milk is not clean but was it ever?

I’m going to refrain from saying anything negative about Gabrielle Union since I don’t want her legion of devoted fans popping up in the c-section raising holy hell so I will just let you do the honors.

Skeet or Delete: Plies – Becky

Posted on July 6, 2009

Kid Fury again, folks!

Now, normally the tunes of Algernod will invoke the gay goon in me and I’ll drop my buttered biscuits to the floor in glee when the DJ plays his records. This new shit, “Becky”, is a bit too much for me, though. I thought this was going to be some sort of euphemism for crack/cocaine or maybe a song about white girls with small dogs and good credit! Imagine my surprise when Algae started rapping about getting his pickle licked. Get into this lyrical excerpt.

Babbit pussy ain’t my style/fire head make me smile/put that mayonnaise on your chile/you gotta be grown to fuck with Plies/the longer you suck the longer I wild.

Please, don’t play this shit at work, unless you have headphones. I don’t want anybody thinking that you’re giving your boss suckie-suckie for a raise and a new parking space. Sorry, Plies, but if this song comes on in the club, I will be sitting with the bathroom attendant until it ends. I can already see the nignorance. Girls flashing coochie on the bar, sex shows going on in dark corners. I vote no. I bet Dorion’s dick wrote this shit.

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Brazen Beauties: Nona Jackson

Posted on July 2, 2009

The baddest bitch is back, she’s reloaded, and she’s killing you hoes all while looking thicker than some 3 day old cold grits. She’s also getting to the money. Well, at least trying to.

Nona Paris Lola Ankhesenamun Jackson, who has previously claimed to not only to be married married to but also given birth to upwards of 15 children fathered by Michael Jackson, filed a motion to be put in control of the King of Pop’s estate.

In a 93-page document filed Wednesday afternoon, Nona requested “that all my husband’s properties, monies and assets must be transferred to me immediately.” She also made the bizarre demand that “my husband’s body must be returned to the coroner’s body or the mortuary immediately.”

Well cot damn, there must be two sides! I doubt if MJ ever meet this real life wanna-be Billie Jean yet alone had the pleasure of piping her down but a check is a check. How else is she going to afford that much needed appointment with Celebrity Seaborn?

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Crunkland Submitted Fuckery: The Boyfriend Song

Posted on June 18, 2009

Hey Fresh, love your site!! I’m a very loyal visitor, my cousin and I chat about your site like we watching old re-runs of the Good Times. Anyway I thought the female Crunksters would love to check out this video. Being a very practical girl, I can totally relate to this video and only needing a man with a great healthcare plan. Forget what you heard about a man being able to pull up to the valet driving a Maybach or giving Louis’ or Gucci handbags just because. What I really want to know is–does your health care plan cover DENTAL AND VISION CARE?!?!

Oh and how can I become a dependent?

- – Clairvoyance