Sexual Napalm: Chief Keef

chief keef Sexual Napalm: Chief Keef

While you would never purposely get a tattoo on your neck that resembles a dirty patch of eczema, that particular body ink placement is more than fitting for Chief Keef, no?

Now that rhyming like one has a mouthful of piping hot cream of wheat is widely accepted in the rap community, Gucci Mane’s latest mentee in the Big Brother Big Sister program took his talents to New York City for a performance at the Best Buy Theater last week.

The government name of a jazz saxophonist and the face of a felon. My how the mind wonders. I would hit it and watch it scurry back under the kitchen counter. Dim the lights.

Hoodrat Tracks: Georgia Reign – “Fuck My Ex”

georgia reign Hoodrat Tracks: Georgia Reign   “Fuck My Ex”

As the days to summer’s arrival draw near, those who signed up to be cuffed in an effort to gain Instagram likes during the colder months will soon find themselves single.

Not every couple will have an amicable split.

“Fuck My Ex” is the type of song you would expect Keyshia Cole and K. Michelle to write together over a bag of hot fries if they both never hit the reset button on their teeth. My only wish is that we would’ve received this gem in time for Dope Girl Appreciation Day.

You can never have too many “niggas ain’t shit” anthems in your iTunes catalogue. This is for them ‘Bourbons and them Cadillacs.

Hump Day Holla: Welcome To Barney’s Slumber Party

If you are feeling freaky mama go and have a slumber party!

If PBS Kids had a ‘BET Uncut’ segment I’m pretty sure this would be the first video that would start the show off. No word on if his how Elmo caught all those cases of his, but until Lambchop drops a remix to “Look Back At Me” I will enjoy this.

Happy Dope Girl Appreciation Day! Here’s 5 Songs To Vibe Out To In Your Cutlass Supreme

Every dope girl deserves to duckwalk in the spotlight of a Box Chevy’s high beams at dusk. Today, we are saluting all the ride or die bitches that have no problem taking a case for their dudes. It takes a special type of woman to hold their man down through drug drops.

Monica –  What Part Of The Game (Feat. Mia X)

If you ever doubted that Glockthica wasn’t one of the realest to ever roll a blunt and highlight selected Bible scriptures all at once allow this track to serve as your official reminder. Now let her tell you ’bout these niggas she don’t like.

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The Art Of Storytelling: Watch The Berry Rescuer Explain How He Saved The Day

I heard screaming. I’m eating my McDonald’s and I come outside, and I see this girl going nuts trying to get out her house. So I go on the porch and she says ‘Help me get out, I been out here a long time.’ So I figure it’s a domestic violence dispute, so I open the door and we can’t get in that way ’cause how the door is, it’s so much that a body can’t fit through it, only a hand. So we kick the bottom, and she comes out with a little girl, and she says ‘Call 911, my name is Amanda Berry . . . When she told me it didn’t register until I got to call 911. And I’m like, ‘I’m calling 911 for Amanda Berry? I thought this girl was dead.’

Surprisingly, the above blockquote is not an excerpt from the commencement speech at this year’s Drinking Gin And Telling Lies Performance Academy graduation ceremony.

Neighborhood hero Charles Ramsey left no stone unturned while giving a detailed account of the pivotal role he played in aiding Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and a third woman named Michelle Knight escape after being held captive for years.

According to police, the women were being kept in a house in the 2200 block of Seymour Avenue near West 25th Street in Cleveland, Ohio. There’s a great East 1999 – Bone Thugs N’ Harmony joke buried somewhere in the details but I am too lazy to find it.

Leave your favorite quote from Mr. Ramsey in the comments. We are all indebted to him one can of Milwaukee’s Best each for saving lives and the internet tonight.

Special thanks to Karen Civil for passing this shining moment on for my birthday!