Archive for the 'We Do This For The Hood' Category

Jacking For Posts: Baltimore, Get Your Girl

Harpo, who this woman?

Judging from the way she pronounced “YouTube” it was easy to peg her as a resident of Baltimore Baldamo, Murrland. Or as she and other choice locals like to call it, Bodymore, Murderland. With a nickname like that it’s no wonder the town also branded as Charm City is such a tourist haven.

Let me quit clowning before I get a bunch of hollow points left in my comment section. Some of my favorite people on Earth are from Baltimore. This girl, however, isn’t one of them.

To be fair, she’s not a bad rapper at all. She has some issues with breath control but given the size of her stomach I can understand why. That’s either a baby in her belly or a 20 piece nugget at McDonalds.

If it’s the latter, I can’t blame her: A deal is a deal. Had a friend not told me one late night on a post-club excursion to Mickey D’s, “Michael do you really want to eat that?” I might have fallen victim myself. Still, let’s not make reference to calories in our rhymes. Less is more. Figuratively and literally, baby.

Nevertheless rapper Keys’ eating habits or baby making plans aren’t the problem, her pushing beef for publicity is.

Although I’m fallen under Nicki Minaj’s spell I can see why some people still don’t like her. The Barbie thing is a stretch for someone to push at her age, but evidently it’s working. Working so well Keys took the time to film a video in front of the projects to diss the hell out of her.

Maybe it’s because I’ve already contemplated legally changing my name to Mickey Minaj for at least six months for the hell of it, but I don’t think this girl’s diss is all that impressive.

Yes, she can spit but she’s essentially calling Nicki Minaj childish and saying she’s too old for toys yet she’s ranting about busting guns and robbing folks.

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Quick Flicks: Lil’ Wayne’s Unique Family Situation

pjs Quick Flicks: Lil Waynes Unique Family Situation

Looks like Lil’ Wayne is spending as much time with his um, blended family, as he can before he has to go away to the clink. He was photographed with his first born son Dwayne Michael Carter III at a pajama party for daughter Reginae given by her chief pork chop go-getter / mother Toya Carter. ‘Twas like a heart warming paternity update on Maury. Family time, make it happen.

I guess.

And in case you are wondering, Nivea hasn’t dropped that load off to the docks yet. That girl has been pregnant longer than Mystikal has been screaming “dan-jah!” after lights out.

VIEW MORE PICTURES AT NECOLE BITCHIE

Quick Flick: The Mamas of Hip-Hop Get Political

club Quick Flick: The Mamas of Hip Hop Get Political

Arms, legs, backs, and breasts. (c) Mannie Fresh

Following a long day of shooting [ . . . their talk show, don't judge them by their tattoos and yaki selections] The Mamas of Hip-Hop hit Atlanta’s social scene in support of politician Kasim Reed’s campaign as the city’s choice for next mayor. Other notable attendees include my favorite Tweetie and celebrity site lurker Big Boi, Ne-Yo, Tameka Foster Raymond, Monica, and host of the event Fonzworth Bentley.

As always, thanks Freddy O for the flicks!

Pass The Au Jus!

You either love or hate New Orleans bounce music. The syncopated rhyme patterns delivered over dizzying beats can be difficult for outside ears to decipher but fortunately fuckery is a universal language that needs no interpreter.

Take a note out of your cousin’s handbook and wow your family and friends at Thanksgiving Dinner by freestyling about the food dishes on the table. Just remember that if it doesn’t go over well don’t blame it on the lettuce, don’t blame it on the tomato. Shouts out to my lil’ double roast beef anon nymous for submitting my new ringtone.

Monster With Da Fade > The Fame Monster. Belee dat!

Today’s Phrase That Pays: Every Blue Moon Bitch

Facebook can be a great tool for connecting with old friends and laughing at what other people have become. And then there is the potential hoe shit aspect. Two middle school teachers were arrested on Monday morning after fighting over – - you guessed it – - community dick in front of students. Chaka Cobb and Ebony Smith exchange blows after the women learned they both were involved with the same male teacher, who also teaches at the school.

Talk show shit.

Cobb, who told police she is expecting a child with the man, said she found a letter from Smith on the man’s Facebook page.

“I am in love with you. I am tired of being your every blue moon [expletive],” the letter read.

Cobb responded on Facebook with a “tumultuous” message, police said.

On Monday morning, the fight moved from Facebook to the school halls. That’s where Smith approached Cobb and told her to “never do that again,” the report states.

Cobb summoned an assistant principal, but the fight didn’t stop.

Instead, it spilled into a classroom where Smith began to swing at Cobb, the report states.

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The Talk Show Black America Has Been Waiting On

mama The Talk Show Black America Has Been Waiting On

Taking a cue from The View, the mothers of Hip-Hop and R&B “greats” T-Pain, Lil Wayne, and Go-Go have decided to come together as one to impart wisdom on some of these wayward hoes walking around here.

The middle-aged sex kittens are set to produce a pilot soon for television networks. Prepare to clutch your pearls as the threesome breaks down hood fights from World Star Hip Hop and give tips on how to drive the stank out of your kitchen after cooking chitlins.

While many Black Americans pop their collars when speaking about President Obama they will need a crash course on accepting the sex appeal oozing from Mama Pain. Her Celebrity Seaborn five star status hair, tatted up hand, velvet pants, and stunting-on-you-hoes posture will have all the kids screaming her name but will surely be frowned down upon by the uppity crowd.

And that’s just the beginning of her problems.

An insider exclusively revealed to us after bible study last week that her Creole status is still up in the air, a problem that could potentially be devastating to her public image. But as long as she is as tough as the skin on her son’s bottom lip she will be just fine. Put her on your prayer list.

Flick via Rap Up

Kept It Too Trill

BOOSIE Kept It Too Trill

Time on my hands, since you going away to jail boy, I ain’t got no plans, no no no no . . .

Mouth crust specialist Lil’ Boosie was sentenced to four years in prison yesterday for probation violations, stemming from the rapper’s failure to follow the conditions of his probation following multiple gun and drug charges. I guess its time to pack another case of insulin for the trip.

MTV.com reports:

Boosie was convicted on drug and gun charges in September in connection with an October 2008 arrest when police found a bag of marijuana, a blunt and a gun in a vehicle he was driving. The pot charge along could have landed him in prison for 20 years, with a mandatory minimum of five years for the gun charge. After the plea, Moore ordered Boosie to be electronically monitored and to clear all concert dates with the court while awaiting sentencing, according to Louisiana newspaper The Advocate. But when the judge found out that the rapper had violated his terms, Moore ordered him to spend four years in prison, meaning he will likely do at least two full years, his lawyer said.

The Coogi King released an official statement [now is not the time to laugh] today regarding his extended sentence.

“I made some very foolish choices, but I was doing the best I could to provide for my family before I went away to jail. Clearly I exercised terrible judgment and I hope to get the opportunity to prove that I can make great decisions for my family and the community in the future.”

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