Most NBA fans know that Ron Artest isn’t the brightest bulb in the tanning bed* so his soul stirring tribute song to Michael Jackson is just what one would expect for him to cook up in the studio. It  still doesn’t stop the shit from being all types of wrong though.

Yo, on some real shit, Michael, Michael, Michael, you my nigga. I know a thug would cry for you, my dude. Aint no R&B singer really ever made me cry. Makes me wanna meet you, touch your hand. Ya know?

Now I’m mad, real mad, Joe Jackson. Shame on all of you from holding out on this here king fuckery! Listen, I have been guilty of encouraging the kids who had the same teacher all day long in high school to participate in freestyle battles [Whaddup Drake?]  Eli Porter style but that’s all behind me now. This my friend is another act of God entirely and should not be compared. Take a listen for yourself under the hood.

* One free pair of House of Dereon ass pads for the first person to tell me what movie I swiped that from. Hint: Michael, Michael, Michael Cera, you my nigga!

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

A woman left two children, ages 1 and 3, alone in an unlocked car while she went into a Marietta Wal-Mart and shoplifted items for herself, according to Cobb arrest warrants.

One of the children was wearing only a shirt and nothing on his bottom half, according to an officer who approached the vehicle.

Lashaundra Chantee Cooper, 23, was arrested at 12:30 a.m. Saturday when an officer located her vehicle with the two children inside.

The 1-year-old was screaming and walking on the front seat, according to the warrant. The keys were in the ignition. There was one car seat in the vehicle, but neither child was in it, according to the warrant.

Cooper, of Marietta, faces a felony child cruelty charge, according to a warrant. Additionally, she faces a shoplifting charge for allegedly concealing $24.75 worth of merchandise in her handbag and exiting the store.

Cooper remains in the Cobb County jail without bond, according to the sheriff’s office web site. In 2006, she served nearly nine months for drug trafficking, according to jail records. [source]

. . . But you already knew that.  Now this made my day:

Kobe Bryant’s former housekeeper is suing the NBA star and his wife, contending she was “harassed and humiliated,” denied health insurance and forced to quit because of “intolerable” working conditions.

In one instance, Maria Jimenez says Bryant’s wife ordered her to put her hand in a container of dog waste to retrieve the price tag of a blouse.

Jimenez filed suit Friday in Orange County Superior Court. She says in court papers that Vanessa Bryant “badgered, harassed and humiliated” her in front of Bryant, the couple’s children and others. She said the couple failed to provide health coverage, as promised when she was hired. She said she didn’t learn she didn’t have it until she became ill and sought medical attention. [source]

Wow, a bitch gets a couple thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery and a green card and all of the sudden she thinks she can treat people like shit!

Vanessa, we all know how you got here. I’m not judging you for hiding out in some nice family’s pool house overnight during your little adventure over here to the Americas. Don’t think I didn’t see you and  your cousins on the True Life: I Live On The Border episode recreating the Español version of the Trail of Tears.

You should be looking towards Zion with her well manicured hands in the sky thanking God that the shoe isn’t on the other foot. Then again its never too late for the tables to turn.

And Kobe you ain’t shit for allowing this to go down either.

Was Free ever signed to Bad Boy Records? If not, there is no excuse for her walking around looking all tainted and shit like this. I know she is pushing retirement age and what not but she better sell that to King magazine expeditiously if she plans to be around much longer.

And I’m not even on her wig yet.

If Al Reynolds can take the time to give the girls something to blog about then Free can do the same, just in a positive. Hell, A.J. looks better than ever!

You don’t need Scoop and Shanda to tell you that people get off on different things but this shit right here is a certified soul snatcher.

After watching this ashy negro bounce his dick up and down on this innocent inflatable orca whale I reached for my cell to call animal services but decided against it because I didn’t want to use any of my precious daytime minutes. You just wait til after 7 pm, I’m snitching on that ass Antonio Pierce style. Peep more gems of Ash Boy cuddling up with other toy animals under the hood. Thanks Soli!

I’m glad that Antwone Fisher is still standing and all that good stuff but can he please clean that major distraction he has going on between his eyes the fuck up for once? You don’t have to zoom in with photo shop to see that madness.

Crunkster DOC brought it to my attention earlier this week that Lil Wayne’s hit song “Lollipop” is supposedly going to appear on the new Kidz Bop album. I went on a search for the full song and came across the above clip of a radio show discussing the track appearing on the cd. The song starts at 57 second mark. Your thoughts?

After taking a minute to let the lyrics marinate ["Lady lumps!"] I’m going to have to rule this joint as being fake, although the fuckery associated with this is off the Richter Scale.

Real or fake I still blame the adults. First the dad on Tyra’s talk show waxes his daughter’s snatch now this. I don’t know about you but I will be damn if I have my god son running around singing that shit on my watch.

” . . . We can’t let the media frenzy dictate our lives,” Trick explained. “If I took up for O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick, R. Kelly and Mike Tyson, how the hell am I going to go against Rick Ross? Be for real. That’s what I represent. I represent the struggle.” – - Trick Speaks To Sohh About The Rick Ross cop drama

Anybody whose eyes look like bloody egg yolks should be quarantined immediately.

“We can’t let the media frenzy dictate our lives.” Boy, you so important!

Normally I don’t do this but I went on a search for news on Trick Daddy just so I could post these pictures I snapped of him last year. These flicks were taken shortly after somebody straight walked the dog on his ass at a Miami strip club. If you look closely you can see a couple of scabs and scratches on the side of his neck. Nukka’s face looks like an old Buick car door . . . I can’t

Try not to be too jealous of me for being in such close proximity as T-Double-D. [sarcasm] While other bloggers are out there kicking it in with real celebrities I get stuck with the has beens and never was. I’m hating!

That’s alright though. Just look at it this way, how many people can honestly say they were this close to catching scabies? This girl can.

That shit in his eye got some shit in its ear. And that beard? *Cranks that Rev. Emory*

Kid Fury here with another public service announcement. Never marry for publicity!

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have wed, Latina magazine reports.

The two got hitched in a small ceremony on an island Wednesday, according to the magazine. They quote a source as saying it was “very implusive.”

Rapper Da Brat attended [Packing the .45 under the skirt, I bet! -- Kid Fury], the magazine says.

Cannon’s ex-fiancée, model Selita Ebanks, tells Usmagazine.com, “I have no comment but wish them well.”

Longtime pals, Carey, 38, and the 27-year-old rapper-actor connected when he directed the video for her latest single, “Bye Bye,” in late March.

“It’s hot and heavy,” an insider told Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. [source]

Okay, first of all…ugh!

Now, I would like to know what kind of drugs Nick Cannon has these women hiding in their juice boxes, because this shit doesn’t make any sense to me. Hell, I thought his Earthworm Jim looking ass wanted to marry Will Smith! I’m gonna need Mariah Carey to migrate her nut bucket ass to the nearest corner and sit down…forever!

Fresh,

Perusing some sites and came across this one I nearly dropped d-down when I saw…Free looks TTFU! (Toe the f#$@ up!) Seriously where did she think she was going…Did she just want to use the bathroom and she was spotted and forced her to take the pics…SMH…

Love the site, AWESOME!

– tsagrednerp