Rocking a Yankees fitted and Dolce & Gabbana flea market shades, the corpse of 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

I blame Jay-Z! His ass said “I put on for my city so, when I’m dead and gone I got one last wish, put my Yankees hat on” in his verse on the remix to “I Put On.” What part of the game is this?!

His brother Carlos told the El Nuevo Dia newspaper the victim had long said he wanted to be upright for his own wake: “He wanted to be happy, standing.”

The owner of the Marin Funeral Home, Damaris Marin, told The Associated Press the mother asked him to fulfill her dead son’s last wish. [1]

Pantoja was found dead Friday underneath a bridge in San Juan and buried Monday. Police are investigating. [source]

[1] Riddle me this Batman: Did he know in advance that somebody was going to murk him out?

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]

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And the NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Fuckery in a Daytime Drama goes to . . .

Keison Wilkins, a 33 year old man on trial for various charges including felonious assault, felon in possession of a weapon and firing a gun into a habitation was sentenced to 42 years in jail. But not without a week of crackpot drama, including the video above where Wilkins faked a heart attack to stall the proceedings.

Khia Rocks at ATWG already said this but I am going to reiterate: Please come and post your uncle’s bail. I collapsed twice my damn self after watching his dramatic cunt fallout. Sweet Kang Jeezus, I’ve been laughing harder than Ashanti during an interview for 15 minutes straight. True story, the underside of my titties are sweating harder than Miracle Jackson in a sauna suit. TGIF!

The trial may be over but the fuckery ensues.

R. Kelly’s defense attorney issued a public apology to teen actress Miley Cyrus for using her name during Kellz’s child pornography trial.

During the closing arguments of the trial, lawyer Sam Adam Jr. had used the Hannah Montana star as an example to explain how teenagers gossip in a bid to prove his client’s innocence.

“This wasn’t a gardener or the man down the street or a janitor. This was a 13-year-old girl having sex with a superstar, and she doesn’t tell anyone? She doesn’t let it slip to her best friend? Never? Not anyone? You can’t keep a 13-year-old’s mouth closed over Hannah Montana tickets, but this?,” Adams told jurors.

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Michael K is the lace front glue to my hairline. He always echoes my most inner thoughts on pop culture fuckery. Get out of dreams and into my car!

Have you been looking for the perfect tacky ass outfit for your 6-year-old daughter to work the ho track in? Well, House of Derriere has the answer to all your problems! Beyonce and Mama Knowles really do think about the needs of everyone.

PopGumbo had this to say about this Dereon Girls ad ,“What is the next ad going to look like? Babies wearing gold metallic bikinis while five-year old boys throw Monopoly money on them.” Shhhh! Shush it! Don’t give Mama Knowles any ideas. She probably loves that concept, but she’ll make the babies pose on top of a Bentley.

This mess needs to be investigated by Chris Hansen and the rest of his Dateline NBC goon squad.

After the photo shoot Baby Daniel slide his number to all of the girls and said “Call me so I can make it juicy for ya.” Lick the rapper’s nephew.

A 7 year old goon in training from South Florida rode his Granny’s Dodge Durango until the wheels fell off that bitch - - literally. His mission? “To do hoodrat stuff.” [His words, not mine]

I hurt for my people.

The eight-minute trek left a swath of damage in his Palm Beach Gardens neighborhood Friday as the boy smashed mailboxes, hit parked cars and signposts.

He was unhurt.

Police say the boy kept driving until a front wheel fell off after the SUV hit a sign.

The boy’s mother says he grabbed the keys to the SUV, backed it out of her driveway, and took off.

Police spokeswoman Ellen Lovejoy says the boy is unlikely to be prosecuted.

She said police arrested him so he can get some help, noting the excursion was “unusual behavior for a 7-year-old.” [source]

This is the type of story CNN should be covering, ahem.

I blame gangsta rap, films by the Hughes Brothers, and Goober P+J. The world is so confusing for children growing up today.

If you don’t click on another link today just please make sure you check the news video out. Peep the gangstalicious sag in his camo cargo shorts, ya’ll. My mind can’t process this shit right now. Somebody needs to tap this kid for the Notorious B.I.G. movie, STAT!

[Thanks Razzi for the heads up]

Not for anything I’ve been using the phrase “dirty foot bitches” since hearing this audio tragedy. I’m super beside myself now that the official unofficial video is here.

Don’t act brand new, I know you have at least one cousin or friend with this song set as the ringtone for their significant other [or at least I do]. Mark my words, this will become the hood anthem for DFB’s all across the nation. The same women [and sweet + tangy men] who yell “lick my pussy and my crack” in the club aren’t going to have any problems singing the chorus. Sniff away!

This is so major that I’m going to leave this as the first entry on the site for the remainder of the day - - something I’ve never done before. Since I will be out of the office selling ass running errands for most of the day I think this will serve as the perfect away message.

May not be safe for work

I try to limit the gratuitous ass shaking on C+D but the above video is so trifling I had to share it with you guys. Can you count all the fuckery in this clip?

[Thanks FullBlkWmn]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Bust It Baby national anthem. I’m not going to tell you how I know about this song, just know that I am embarrassed and ashamed for it. This is right up there with “Smell Yo Dick.”