What kinda dream is this?

J. Coop composed a post filled with all types of shade and camel jokes about water but I just couldn’t go through with it. I don’t need PETA and angry stans on my back at the same time.

This post is one ass big land mine filled with so many potential jokes that I wouldn’t feel right if I was the only person to make them all I’ll let you do the damage instead. Let’s see who has a good sense of humor today shall we?

If you have been skimping out on your weekend serving of tang courtesy of the fantastic femme footwork of Vogue Evolution then take a moment out of your hectic day to chew this ass. The jealous butch queen vibes were on full throttle as the team rehearsed for the Week 4 Bollywood Challenge, prompting the dance troupe’s resident Deena Jones [or Effie if you're feeling messy] to exit in dramatic cunt fashion, resulting in the kids giving a subpar final performance.

All too aware of the self-inflicted emotional wounds that her tranny brethren scar their pretty little souls with, Lil’ Llama tried her best to humble Leiomy Mizrahi down but fell short and just rehashed the fever that started this shit in the first place – - jealous butch queen vibes.

Pray for my haters because I am spreading my fuckery around the internet! When I am not doing hoe shit and ranting on Twitter you will be able to catch me over at HoneyMag.com giving my praises to Yahweh + pop culture. I was suppose to write my first piece for the site a looooong time ago but I couldn’t decide on what I wanted to go in on and then I heard an oink from the heavens. Sweet epiphany.

To say I was less than enthusiastic when BET announced that Tiny & Toya would be a part of their summer line up would be an understatement. I expected the show to be nothing more than another chapter in the book about the lavish lives of two hip-hop baby mamas who stay Louis down to the socks. Something I could definitely go without in my $5-foot-long-for-dinner world. Besides, we all have The Desperate Housewives of Bankhead (along with the fabulous Dwight Eubanks) and their rented lifestyles to fill that void, no?

Once the expensive stilettos and oversized bags were set aside I quickly realized that Tameka and Toya are the same type of chicks who I sit next to in the beauty salon, laugh with over cocktails, exchange mean mugs with at the club, call when I need a hook up at the MAC counter, and pray for at night. [CONTINUE AT HONEYMAG.COM]

Watch last night’s sneak peak episode and check pictures of Tiny & Toya looking tragic with all them  Lil’ Mo inspired prison tattoos out on the red carpet at the EBT Awards under the cut.

Now this is favor from the Lord. If you haven’t paid your tithes this month you may want to break out your wallet after reading this.

Foxy Brown received the star treatment while incarcerated, being allowed to sport Gucci sneakers and a Fendi scarf – - and when they got dirty, new ones were brought to her. Owww! Puts a whole new twist on pampered pets, right?

Not only was Brown allowed to do an interview and photoshoot for XXL magazine, but the paper went as far as to insinuate that prison officials acted as if they were a part of her entourage, catering to her every need.

“City prison officials acted like an entourage of fawning valets for rapper Foxy Brown when she was locked up on Rikers Island, hanging out in her cell, bringing meals and makeup, giving her unlimited TV and phone use, and toting her bags when she was released last April,” the paper’s report read.

The Post alleges that the prison’s top rabbi Leib Glanz, his boss Imam Umar Abdul-Jalil, played a key role in Brown’s star treatment, going to bat for her when she wanted something special.

“Umar would call the warden, and the warden at the time would comply,” one insider said.

“They were in her cell day and night,” a department supervisor added. “Whatever she wanted, Sister Aisha would talk to warden [Michelle] Mack and get it.”

Since the report, the New York Department of Corrections, released a statement, claiming Foxy’s treatment was “within normal guidelines.”

“Inmates were entitled to wear their own clothing. That’s her choice,” Correction spokesman Stephen Morello said. [source]

Oh, First Lady Diamond. Are you sure about that? Like, really sure? Because I am thinking if you were your husband wouldn’t have . . . you get my point.

LisaRaye will probably always be down to do something strange for a piece of change. Times are hard and selling ass  and making random club appearances still puts food on her baby’s table. So there.

Seriously, Uncle Ciara? [Flick via Sandra Rose]

What’s up Fresh? Today I was going through photos from Jamie’s CD Release party at TAO Vegas for my website Quick’s Catch Up, and I spotted one of the BEST side eyes I have ever seen. As Diddy pours Ciroc into someone’s glass, the fellow at the bottom of the picture is real pissed at the situation. Damn, his side eye hurt my feelings.

- – Quick

I ingested one hell of a tang multivitamin last night [pictures from that fantasy ride later] but its still no match for the zest that Al Reynolds spew. Watch him attempt to be funny and butch in this clip from VH1’s Best Week Ever as he takes a look back at 2008’s Sexy Sexy Ladies.