Emotions tend to vary when Thug Misses allows fans to enter her controversial innermost sanctum. Some squeal in delight while others burst into tears (and flames) upon discovering that they are trapped inside her mind’s fourth level of ratchet hell. I just blink rapidly and try my best to hold on to the beauty of the moment for as long as humanly possible.

The raptress turned reality television contestant turned life coach touches on the benefits of self-employment, clears up recent rumors that her car was repossessed, goes in Georgia’s prison system, questions Tamar Braxton’s relevancy, attempts to offer Tameka “Tiny” Cottle some unsolicited marital advice, gives Lil’ Wayne all of her love and so much more in her latest Facebook blog entry.

THE WORD FOR TODAY IS J.O.B.

Stop working for the computer and let the computer work for you. Stay ya tired asses off Facebook and do your fucking jobs. Them whores be typing on the computer for free and aint got NAN Data Entry Specialist degree. If you gone be on the computer all day. Get Paid. Get MONEY BIIIIIIITCH!

MISCOMMUNICATION LEADS TO COMPLICATION

I guess that’s why they forgot to take the old ass WARRANT out of the system on the fuck shit that a bitch already did TIME for!

The Queen don’t stay in jail. I gets in and I gets out. Yall better ask a bitch bout me. Yall aint got no dirt on me! You aint caught me with POWDER, LEAN and METH in my PUSSY. Some thangs Black Queens just aint gone do! I do the crime, I don’t do the time!

LOCKED UP: RAW

First, they turned the AC down to 20 below knowing the hoes and tricks aint got on no clothes, then they give you a STALE ass bologna sandwich that the Queen had to cut open with her diamond baguette canine teeth to open up the MUSTARD pack while shoving 30 hoes in a 5×7 cell for 15 to 20 hours straight. They lock a hoe up in a FLASH, but take 24 hours to release a bitch. Chile BOOOOOOOO!

NO, NO, NO REPO

While yall bitches talking bout the Queen’s car being REPOED, the Queen car is paid for….Do we got any pictures? Noooooooooow, yall know the Poe Poe don’t come to yall house bout no car. As long as yall bitches been HIDING cars at ya mammies and grand mammies houses. Let’s keep it 100 today, Damn right I’ll beat a bitch ass bout coming to FUCK with ANN one of my cars and I got a few of them. What yall think I got? A 20 year LOAN? As long as I been riding the Lex I know it’s PAID for! Catch a bitch in the HUMMER. All day! I did an instant replay, and went to JAIL for shit I already done. Nowwwwww, I’m bout to go to the PEN bout a nigga who STOLE my goddamn money!

THE 3T’S: TAMAR, T.I. AND TINY

Tamar, off with your fucking big ass head! Bitch, we wore baby powder back when the Queen was a lil girl. You hot because you were NEVA relevant? It’s always been about the Queen! Bitch, you can hear and smell real good out your nose no matter how much cartilage you took from you ear to “Fix Ya Face!”

Since you wanna tweet about the Queen, tweet dis. No matter how much blonde weave you put on your hair, that pussy hair is always gone be BLACK!!!! Looking like “Shrekhasadaughter.com” Bitch. Who are you again? The Braxtons? How many records you sold? Toni will always be the only Braxton we know! That’s all I got to say about that. Tell ya FAT ass husband to call me, Bitch! Since you wanna Tweet Dats why dey call me BIIIIITCH @queenkhia!!!!!

T.I. they done let your fuck ass outta jail and you turned around and went right back in! You shoulda took ya $100.00 and got on the prison CRUSADE bus like the Queen did! I thought you was gone keep it 100 this time when you got out?

Tiny, you can’t handle ya husband’s business? He can’t trust you do shit but HIDE PILLS, POWDER and LEAN in ya PUSSY? You can go to jail for a nigga but you can’t hold shit down while he gone? Bitch, stop TOOT TOOTING, handle ya biz then T.I. can stay outta jail! Looks like you gone still be jacking DICKS underneath dem tables like the Queen said on the 4th of July Blog!

Tamar, if you and Tiny doing the DOUBLE DUTCH … I’m jumping In!

BEY BEY’S BABY

Congratulations to Behooooce’ for finally taking the Queen’s advice and giving her fraggle rock, muppet baby looking ass husband their first born child! Get Money Bitch. We all waiting to see what the baby gone look like and we hope it aint gone look like the pappy. The hood already know how them high yellow hoes get to looking when they get old as Methuselah by the time they reach the age 35! Is that why Matthew left Tina and stole LeToya and Latavia’s money? Like Catherine Jackson said, “Tell the truth nigga and take ya ass back to Vegas to them white hoes.”Behooooooce, they been tryna tell you this fuck shit for over 10 years and now you wanna catch on and FIRE your pappy and wanna holla bout a DC reunion. It’s over hoe! Didn’t TLC school yall on how Pebbles stole all of their got damn money?

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Read what Khia has to say about Lil’ Wayne, J. Lo, Jada and Will, Kreayshawn and other delayed bastards by clicking here.

The EF Hutton of the projects is back and presenting her rare of shade in high definition! Before reading her latest explosive blog The Queen spoke out against the media’s lack of coverage for the “afros, headwraps and thugged misses dresses down to the floor” event that was 2Pac’s 40th Birthday Celebration Concert. Don’t let the length of the video or her mic rubbing against her village feeders detour you from watching!

Here’s a little fact about the internet you probably didn’t know: Every time someone types “bull dagger” online an angel gets its wings. And with her latest blog entry giving an A-Z analysis on her industry peers Khia was able to send plenty of them to flight school on a full ride.

As with all reading material presented by Khia prepare to clutch your pearls, rosary beads, and Swiffer wet cloths because you’re going to need all three to make it through. Here are the highlights:

Letter B – Beyonce: Fuck this hoe………Can Kelly Rowland make a little bit of MONEY???? We all seen Kelly on the EBT card awards shut that shit down and here you come making Jay Z call in all of his favors to put you on the TV screen with that TIRED, THROUGH and DELAYED performance. We ALL could have passed on that! Imma a fan, true enough but we really sick of looking at you! Give Solange a chance or give your husband Jay Z some children cuz he getting ole as Methasulem and his time is running OUT!! Who runs the world? Girls…..Girls!

Letter D – Debra Lee: Debra Lee You looked like Petunia the Pig up there…… Who styled you for the EBT card awards????? They needed to be STONED and HANGED!!! The fit was waaaaaay too tight around them BIG ass arms and that train was waaayyyyy toooooo long! Shit aint been the same since Bob Johnson left your FAT ass in charge!!! First you didn’t want to play the Queen’s “Been A Bad Girl” video then you fired Free and Aj and now this dress!!!!!!! Enough already……On to the letter E!!!

Letter K- Katrina Laverne Taylor and Kimberly Denise Jones: I done let Lil Kim have it on my single “Fix Your Face,” available on I-tunes, so we gone dedicate the letter K to Katrina Harbor, who done gave all these niggas and bull daggers HIV, Lupus and Grave’s Disease loosing hair and weight, with eyes and thyroids bulging out of the socket! Katrina Harbor has been killing niggas and bull-daggers for a whole decade…… When is yall niggas gone tell the truth? The hood already knows dis…..Easy E aint the only one who went out with a BANG… So glad I didn’t Juuuuuump on that dirty Diiiiiiiiiiick!!!!!!!

Besides, I have already let the world know on the “Hit Er Up” diss that Katrina Harbor’s DURTY, ROTTEN and CORODED ass can’t have no babies…..Weezy aint been the same since he left your ass!!!! Aint no need to tweet about you NOT being PREG! When you don’t take your meds you shrink like a prune and when you do, you big as 2 Burger Kings!!!! Keep it real hoe!!!!!

I hear CVS has a new Minute Clinic but the problems you have with your PUSSIE pussy, you gotta go to the free CLINIC for that!!!!! Bobble Head Biiiiiiiitch!!!!!

Letter M -Mediatakeout.com aka Mediafuckedout: I’m a little sick of you sissys and punks at mediatakeout……So I did a little digging and I found out that the turn around time on that job is every 30 days!!! Fred Mwangaguhuanga fires and hires on the regular so I guess those who write the best bull shit get to keep their jobs!!!! Ask him about the Queen’s royal attire…..I betcha he knows, the lawyer turned blogger Hell, the Queen been doing that rapping and blogging for years!!!!!!! The many stories of mine that yall copied and pasted… I need a little bit of that money baaaaaaaby!!!! Everytime you mention the Queen’s name, the number of clicks is well over 500,000 views ……Call me Fred!!!!!!! You and me must never part……Ma-ki-da-da!!!! Looking like a Turtle Fish turned Black Sea Money, you African muthatfucka! On another note, Yall leave Monica alone just because she wanted a FedEx, Expedited, Rush Ordered Husband, leave her be……Monica is a good woman sol et her have her Justice Of The Peace Wedding……..Rocko wasn’t bout shit….Yall Aint Going Steady!!!!!! That nigga was only good for that SMOKIN ass head and then he needed to be DISPOSED of. Let’s learn to stop being MISDIAGNOSED, DICKMATIZED, and having BALLHEISMERS for these no good ass niggas! Ladies, you heard it from me…. Leave these no good fuck niggas alone, “Don’t Trust No Nigga,” get ya own shit!!!!

And NO BABIES PLEASE!!!!! Ya see, the Queen pleasures herself and don’t wait for the industry or nan nigga to do it for me!!!!! Moe rubber bands………Pleeeeeeeease!!!!!

Letter Q – Queen: I am the motherfucking Queen, I am immortal and I have inside of me the blood of GREAT Royal Queens….. I have no rivals no one can be my equal or dare challenge me. I AM the Queen! Yall vipors can’t criticize nor worry me, my fruit is ripe and it never spoils. I wear the crown GRACEFULLY because I am an overcomer so I can’t be dethrowned . All you fucking followers need to follow the real leader, the headliner…… I am the motherfucking Queen!!!!!!!! Fall Back!

Letter R-Rick Ross: Is you really selling dope on your IPhone?????? I did see you at the Tupac center but I am not sure if you were just there to promote that tired ass single or there to support Queen Afine and the children because all the money you claim you got, I didn’t see you cut no check…..I’m a little sick of you talking bout dope and fucking bitches in the ass on all your songs! Listen ladies, a straight man would not want to violate your ass, bypassing all that good pussy to go straight to the asshole…… I got a problem with that!!!!! Ass is ass…..If you try one, you tried them all!!!! Once again, boy pussy it is….Cocaine is a powerful drug!

Letter U- : U bitches gone learn to respect me,

U motherfuckers need to stop popping pills.

U hip hop niggas need to come on out the closet.

U niggas need to put the lean cups down.

U muthafuckas need to learn to wrap it up.

U 80’s babies is fucked up…….Is it just me or have you noticed that crack cocaine has fucked up an entire generation of children? They are really doing the most right now. They fucked up spiritually, physically and emotionally and they seriously need help……Let us pray!!!!

Stop right there! For a complete dosage of Khia’s words of wisdom visit her Facebook profile.

Never mind Jacki-O’s grapes of wrath tattoo.

The final scene in Waiting To Exhale is never going to happen among female rappers. “Ladies Night: The Sequel” went down inside Missy Elliot’s bedroom after she put the finishing touches on “Let It Go.” Da Brat was still locked up, she know what she was doing. Turn it loose and give it to Jesus, people.

During the peak of Khia’s beef with Jacki-O and Trina in Summer 2006 the “Snatch The Cat Back” rapper made it clear that the two had about the same chance as a pack of Ball Park franks inside Ricky Rozay’s refrigerator during Memorial Day weekend than ever making it in her BBM contacts during an interview with Ozone magazine.

I’m pretty without makeup. I don’t need a stylist and I don’t need thousand dollar hairdos. Keep it real, you know those hoes look a hot mess. You catch Trina early in the morning without all that makeup on her face and that hoe looks a hot mess.

She [Jacki-O] said I was a one-hit wonder and I looked a hot mess. Well, this is my hair. I’ve got dreads. I don’t need makeup and expensive hairdos to make me look like something. I’m beautiful on my worst day. I don’t have to get my ass pumped and I don’t have to walk around butt-naked to sell record.

Honey, tell Lil Wayne to get him a natural beauty with some dreads. How’s he gonna represent the hood when he’s got a bitch with four different types of hair? I wrote the whole Thug Missus album listening to his CD. I love Lil’ Wayne, and this ain’t got nothing to do with Trina. I’m mad cause he even fucked her. That makes me not even want him no more. But tell him to holla at Khia. Tell him to get a girl with dreads. I know Trina looks cute but when he wakes up in the morning and sees how she looks, I know he regrets it.

Google Images is a conduit for fuckery.

There I was minding my own business last night, not searching for anything remotely related to niggatry, when I stumbled across this . . . yeah . . . photo shoot of  Thug Misses numero uno that hit the net some time last year. Since the inception of this site I always thought I did a decent job of keeping up with all things Khia but this one slipped right past me. Better late than never though, right?

Flicks via The Prophet Blog

Presented to you with limited commercial interruption, here is Khia’s colorful review of Pink Friday. Clutch your pearls, rosary beads, and Swiffer wet cloths because you’re going to need all three to make it through.

Now………When I said Happy Thanksgiving, I was not talking about Onika’s album because there was nothing “Happy” about it, and when I say I nothing… I do mean “Nothing, Nada, Zilch…. This bitch needs to be SHOT on site. So while these bitches are fighting over whose ASS SHOTS are the biggest, give me an album without any CAMEOS and then you can talk to the Queen….. Cuz I carry this shit on top of “My Neck and My Back,” Solo Hoe! Hell…….Even on top my head, fruit baskets and all!

Real Talk…… It smells WORSER than the gas that’s coming out of my ASS, from all of the Turkey that I ate over the Thanksgiving weekend. Someone needs to give this BITCH a FLEET Enima and “FLUSH” her IMMEDIATELY, She is nothing but a “Ghostwritten”, Weezy-wannabe WHORE!

Now, I don’t want to sound like a hater because I did go out and spend my $13.99 on this”Mop-flop” of an album, so hopefully this review will give this BLOW-UP doll a little more promotion….. They built this “Bear” right before our eyes! No hate intended…. Real Talk. So let’s get started…….Shall we?

Onika Maraj’s “Pink Friday” Album Review!

Guuuuuuurl…..For starters, the album cover was cute but it looked like Mama Cita needed a Knee Replacement, Knee Braces or KNEE KNOCKERS cuz her legs looked Knotted Up, ILLIFORMED and DEFORMED just like that FAKE “ASS” of hers!!!! Her breast looked suculant, but I wouldn’t suck them wit Latifah’s lips! Shout out to the stylists and photographers who done a spectacular job, airbrushing and styling this “Dungeon Dragon” because we all know that this “Lint-Lizard” doesn’t look like this in person…. It’s AMAZING what a little make-up and camera angles can do! Fuck you, Derek Blanks and the SHIP that your ancestors came in on……Cotton-Picking son of a bitch! Moving right along!

Before we get too far into this “Fabulous” review. I noticed that there were a Hell a lot of people in this 360 deal, Universal, Young Money, Cash Money…..No Money! I mean, they get album sale Money, Endorsement Money, Merchandising Money, Show Money which equals….No Money!! I mean….. With all of the writer’s, producer’s, features and after my husband Weezy cashes in on all of his favors, Onika will be left with $3.60 which equals….No Money! I mean, let’s be real here……100% can only go but Sooooooooooo many ways. Real Talk! Let’s move on….. Shall we?

Track 1: I’m The Best

Yes, “I” Am….. Is she the best? “NO” she’s NOT! If she was……….She wouldn’t have to say it soooooooooooooooo many times. I am a little sick and tired of hearing it! Enough, ALREADY! Wayne is the best rapper alive…… And stop tryna sound like him, we’re all OVER it! Let’s face it…… Nasti Muzik dances circles around this piece of SHIT!!! Now Tweet that……….BITCH!

Track 2: Roman’s Revenge

The best thing on this track was Eminem! Someone call “Puff The Magic” Dragon Slayer. Was she talkin about Lil Kim and was not woman enough to say it? Ooooooooooh Enimem, I never dated a white dude before…..Let’s share an Ice Cream Sandwich, or maybe an Oreo Cookie or even a Peppermint Patty! Oooooooooooooh, I’m sooooooooooo messy!

Track 3: Did It On’Em

What did you do? Because it’s obvious that you will not sell any RECORDS, don’t get too “COMFY” over there at Cash Money Records Sweeeeetie because if they DROPPED Teena Marie, they are going to be SWEEPING your ASS out the DOOR pretty soon! I Thank my husband for DROPPING Lil Mo becuase her LIPS weighed more than her ALBUM sales and needed to be picked UP from draaaaaaaging the floor! Every night me and my husband Weezy still fight about him letting Teena Marie go!

CONTINUE READING ON KHIA’S BLOG

Khia (pictured with friend to the site Kodak Boi) and her massive mammaries made their presence felt at a listening party for Ginuwine’s upcoming album, Elgin, on Monday night. Totally disregard Ginuwine coming out with anything other than a line of edible hair products, okay?

Katrina LaVerne calling her out for having comatose titties really must have struck a nerve, because her chesticles were pushed up (as best as they could in that bargain bin bra) and ready to be sucked on by the gods. Get boobied trapped again over Kidd U Not!

Looking for ways to spice up your bedroom without  taking a trip to the Adam & Eve store? Look no further than the candy aisle at Kroger’s! Although I would hate to be the ER doctor who has to remove  a  piece of peppermint from deep inside of your cousin’s vagina after they read this shit but I got to give Thug Misses a Scoopy Snack for sharing her wisdom with the world.

Don’t be scared to bring candies and toys into the bedroom. Some guys are jealous of dildos because of the size, so what I did to kind of ease [my ex-husband] is introduce him to jumbo candy canes that they give at Christmas time. I like that better because number one, it doesn’t look like a penis that’s bigger than him, so he won’t be jealous. Plus, it makes the vagina taste wonderful and the peppermint makes it tingle a little bit when he blows. It’s good when he’s giving you head; it looks fun and kiddie-like going in, so he’s not intimidated. (VIBE)

Bonus: For old time’s sake.

“While Lil’ Kim is trying to push Nicki Minaj’s dream house into a ditch and Trina is out verifying her creole status, Khia managed to sneak out of her kennel and end up at ABC News studios. Now that’s the gotcha gotcha!” — Fresh

This much is true.

Khia appeared on ABC News recently to promote her new single “Been A Bad Girl.” While she wore her cookout outfit and plastic sunglasses made by some 3rd-cousin-twice-removed, she used something I never heard her use before: her “proper voice.” It must have worked, cause she charmed the hell out of that interviewer and even had me fooled for a few seconds there. Click here to watch!

Hand claps for Khia. Thanks Patrice!

Something Nice: She was able to afford more wardrobe changes than Trina in the “That’s My Attitude” video. That’s all that matters in the world of professional foot draggers.