Archive for the 'The Gospel According To Khia' Category

Words of Wisdom, Life Reflections and Other General Observations From Khia

tears Words of Wisdom, Life Reflections and Other General Observations From Khia

Emotions tend to vary when Thug Misses allows fans to enter her controversial innermost sanctum. Some squeal in delight while others burst into tears (and flames) upon discovering that they are trapped inside her mind’s fourth level of ratchet hell. I just blink rapidly and try my best to hold on to the beauty of the moment for as long as humanly possible.

The raptress turned reality television contestant turned life coach touches on the benefits of self-employment, clears up recent rumors that her car was repossessed, goes in Georgia’s prison system, questions Tamar Braxton’s relevancy, attempts to offer Tameka “Tiny” Cottle some unsolicited marital advice, gives Lil’ Wayne all of her love and so much more in her latest Facebook blog entry.

THE WORD FOR TODAY IS J.O.B.

Stop working for the computer and let the computer work for you. Stay ya tired asses off Facebook and do your fucking jobs. Them whores be typing on the computer for free and aint got NAN Data Entry Specialist degree. If you gone be on the computer all day. Get Paid. Get MONEY BIIIIIIITCH!

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Watch This: Khia’s 50-Minute Long Video Rant

The EF Hutton of the projects is back and presenting her rare of shade in high definition! Before reading her latest explosive blog The Queen spoke out against the media’s lack of coverage for the “afros, headwraps and thugged misses dresses down to the floor” event that was 2Pac’s 40th Birthday Celebration Concert. Don’t let the length of the video or her mic rubbing against her village feeders detour you from watching!

Quick Quotes: Khia Fires Off On Beyonce, Debra Lee, Rick Ross, Urban Fiction Website MediaTakeOut and More In Her Latest Blog

khia confused Quick Quotes: Khia Fires Off On Beyonce, Debra Lee, Rick Ross, Urban Fiction Website MediaTakeOut and More In Her Latest Blog

Here’s a little fact about the internet you probably didn’t know: Every time someone types “bull dagger” online an angel gets its wings. And with her latest blog entry giving an A-Z analysis on her industry peers Khia was able to send plenty of them to flight school on a full ride.

As with all reading material presented by Khia prepare to clutch your pearls, rosary beads, and Swiffer wet cloths because you’re going to need all three to make it through. Here are the highlights:

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From The C+D Vault: The Greatest Khia Interview of All Time

yasss From The C+D Vault: The Greatest Khia Interview of All Time

Never mind Jacki-O’s grapes of wrath tattoo.

The final scene in Waiting To Exhale is never going to happen among female rappers. “Ladies Night: The Sequel” went down inside Missy Elliot’s bedroom after she put the finishing touches on “Let It Go.” Da Brat was still locked up, she know what she was doing. Turn it loose and give it to Jesus, people.

During the peak of Khia’s beef with Jacki-O and Trina in Summer 2006 the “Snatch The Cat Back” rapper made it clear that the two had about the same chance as a pack of Ball Park franks inside Ricky Rozay’s refrigerator during Memorial Day weekend than ever making it in her BBM contacts during an interview with Ozone magazine.

I’m pretty without makeup. I don’t need a stylist and I don’t need thousand dollar hairdos. Keep it real, you know those hoes look a hot mess. You catch Trina early in the morning without all that makeup on her face and that hoe looks a hot mess.

She [Jacki-O] said I was a one-hit wonder and I looked a hot mess. Well, this is my hair. I’ve got dreads. I don’t need makeup and expensive hairdos to make me look like something. I’m beautiful on my worst day. I don’t have to get my ass pumped and I don’t have to walk around butt-naked to sell record.

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Sexual Napalm: Khia’s Lost Photo Shoot

khia11 Sexual Napalm: Khias Lost Photo Shoot

Google Images is a conduit for fuckery.

There I was minding my own business last night, not searching for anything remotely related to niggatry, when I stumbled across this . . . yeah . . . photo shoot of  Thug Misses numero uno that hit the net some time last year. Since the inception of this site I always thought I did a decent job of keeping up with all things Khia but this one slipped right past me. Better late than never though, right?

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Day Late, Dollar Short: Surprisingly Enough Khia Is Not A Fan of Pink Friday

khia nicki minaj Day Late, Dollar Short: Surprisingly Enough Khia Is Not A Fan of Pink Friday

Presented to you with limited commercial interruption, here is Khia’s colorful review of Pink Friday. Clutch your pearls, rosary beads, and Swiffer wet cloths because you’re going to need all three to make it through.

Now………When I said Happy Thanksgiving, I was not talking about Onika’s album because there was nothing “Happy” about it, and when I say I nothing… I do mean “Nothing, Nada, Zilch…. This bitch needs to be SHOT on site. So while these bitches are fighting over whose ASS SHOTS are the biggest, give me an album without any CAMEOS and then you can talk to the Queen….. Cuz I carry this shit on top of “My Neck and My Back,” Solo Hoe! Hell…….Even on top my head, fruit baskets and all!

Real Talk…… It smells WORSER than the gas that’s coming out of my ASS, from all of the Turkey that I ate over the Thanksgiving weekend. Someone needs to give this BITCH a FLEET Enima and “FLUSH” her IMMEDIATELY, She is nothing but a “Ghostwritten”, Weezy-wannabe WHORE!

Now, I don’t want to sound like a hater because I did go out and spend my $13.99 on this”Mop-flop” of an album, so hopefully this review will give this BLOW-UP doll a little more promotion….. They built this “Bear” right before our eyes! No hate intended…. Real Talk. So let’s get started…….Shall we?

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Quick Flicks: Khia’s Cups Continue To Runneth Over

khia1 Quick Flicks: Khias Cups Continue To Runneth Over

Khia (pictured with friend to the site Kodak Boi) and her massive mammaries made their presence felt at a listening party for Ginuwine’s upcoming album, Elgin, on Monday night. Totally disregard Ginuwine coming out with anything other than a line of edible hair products, okay?

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Quick Quotes: Khia’s Candy Head

khia spread Quick Quotes: Khias Candy Head

Looking for ways to spice up your bedroom without  taking a trip to the Adam & Eve store? Look no further than the candy aisle at Kroger’s! Although I would hate to be the ER doctor who has to remove  a  piece of peppermint from deep inside of your cousin’s vagina after they read this shit but I got to give Thug Misses a Scoopy Snack for sharing her wisdom with the world.

Don’t be scared to bring candies and toys into the bedroom. Some guys are jealous of dildos because of the size, so what I did to kind of ease [my ex-husband] is introduce him to jumbo candy canes that they give at Christmas time. I like that better because number one, it doesn’t look like a penis that’s bigger than him, so he won’t be jealous. Plus, it makes the vagina taste wonderful and the peppermint makes it tingle a little bit when he blows. It’s good when he’s giving you head; it looks fun and kiddie-like going in, so he’s not intimidated. (VIBE)

Bonus: For old time’s sake.

Promo Trail: Khia On ABC News

khia abc Promo Trail: Khia On ABC News

“While Lil’ Kim is trying to push Nicki Minaj’s dream house into a ditch and Trina is out verifying her creole status, Khia managed to sneak out of her kennel and end up at ABC News studios. Now that’s the gotcha gotcha!” — Fresh

This much is true.

Khia appeared on ABC News recently to promote her new single “Been A Bad Girl.” While she wore her cookout outfit and plastic sunglasses made by some 3rd-cousin-twice-removed, she used something I never heard her use before: her “proper voice.” It must have worked, cause she charmed the hell out of that interviewer and even had me fooled for a few seconds there. Click here to watch!

Hand claps for Khia. Thanks Patrice!

The “Say Something Nice” Challenge

Something Nice: She was able to afford more wardrobe changes than Trina in the “That’s My Attitude” video. That’s all that matters in the world of professional foot draggers.

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