Yes, You Care: Frank Ocean Won’t Press Charges Against Chris Brown, Says He’ll “Choose Sanity”

frank Yes, You Care: Frank Ocean Wont Press Charges Against Chris Brown, Says Hell Choose Sanity

At last, the streets of ‪Ladera Heights‬ are civil once again.

Officials with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department said today that they plan to close the misdemeanor battery case against Chris Brown.

The decision comes after Frank Ocean revealed that he’ll “choose sanity” and will not press charges against Yellow Cake in connection with a windmill fight the two entertainers had in a parking lot last week. Remind me to use that one the next time I file a police report of my own.

“No criminal charges. No civil lawsuit,” Ocean wrote on his Tumblr. “But as a man I am not a killer. I’m an artist and a modern person. I’ll choose sanity. No criminal charges. No civil lawsuit. Forgiveness, albeit trite, is wisdom.”

According to producer Michael Uzowuru’s account, Rabid Beaver tried to “beat the living shit out of” Ocean when he arrived at the studio with Frank and a third man named Chito, and the space clearly reserved for Ocean at Westlake Studios was taken.

Uzowuru says the front desk informed the trio that the orange Lambo belonged to CB,  and 10 minutes later the magical creature emerged with a “big dude” and a “skinnier dude” — and when Frank told Chris, “You parked in my spot, move” that’s when Summer’s Eve skeeted everywhere.

Where is A-Wax from ‘Menace II Society’ when you need him to talk sense into two squabbling ass negros?

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Friday Fuckery: News Break

Submitted by Crunkster Shannon:

Firefighters had to be called to an emergency room in Newport Beach to help save a man’s penis when it got stuck in the hole of a steel dumbbell, Costa Mesa newspaper The Daily Pilot reported.

Costa Mesa police said the man was attempting to enlarge the size of his penis. Authorities said the man’s organ had swollen to five times its normal size.

The man initially refused treatment but officials at the Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian explained to the man if he waited any longer to remove the fastener the flesh in his penis would die.

Firefighters used a saw to cut through the metal ring. Authorities said the whole procedure took about two hours. [source]

SAD LIL’ MAMA FACE RATING [OUT OF 5]

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News Break

Via The House of ATLien:

lc News BreakA woman left two children, ages 1 and 3, alone in an unlocked car while she went into a Marietta Wal-Mart and shoplifted items for herself, according to Cobb arrest warrants.

One of the children was wearing only a shirt and nothing on his bottom half, according to an officer who approached the vehicle.

Lashaundra Chantee Cooper, 23, was arrested at 12:30 a.m. Saturday when an officer located her vehicle with the two children inside.

The 1-year-old was screaming and walking on the front seat, according to the warrant. The keys were in the ignition. There was one car seat in the vehicle, but neither child was in it, according to the warrant.

Cooper, of Marietta, faces a felony child cruelty charge, according to a warrant. Additionally, she faces a shoplifting charge for allegedly concealing $24.75 worth of merchandise in her handbag and exiting the store.

Cooper remains in the Cobb County jail without bond, according to the sheriff’s office web site. In 2006, she served nearly nine months for drug trafficking, according to jail records. [source]

News Break

An ex-con is suing an upstate prison nurse who allegedly sent him back to his cell after medication side effects gave him a painful erection that wouldn’t go away.

Dawud Yaduallah says he suffered for 55 hours before finally getting hospital treatment to relieve the problem in his pants.

Yaduallah, 43, claims nurse Judith Lovelace’s diagnostic foul-up left him “irreparably injured” with “severe damage to his penis, including erectile dysfunction, inability to ejaculate and pain during sexual intercourse.”

He now needs a prosthesis “to possibly restore some sexual function” and says “his medical problems have caused difficulty in his marriage,” court papers say.

His Manhattan federal court suit doesn’t specify damages but demands stiff punishment for Lovelace’s “cruel and uncivilized conduct.”

Yaduallah, a career criminal formerly known as David Hanley, says he was imprisoned at the Downstate Correctional Facility in Fishkill when his daily dosage of Seroquel was boosted by 25 percent in March 2006.

Side effects of the anti-psychotic drug include persistent and painful erections, and three days later Yaduallah – who was paroled last September after serving time for an assault conviction – went to the infirmary after more than 14 hours at full staff.

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News Break

Authorities arrested seven East Wake High School seniors Thursday and charged them with vandalizing 28 school buses with spray paint. School officials say it was a senior prank.

Antonio Bland, 18; Dafineace Ratliff, 17; Tyasia Nicole Williams, 18; Marquis Joyner, 17; Latasha May, 18; Taliva Allen, 18; and Calvin Dreston, 18, were charged with vandalism and breaking and entering.

The students were also accused of breaking into a school building and pouring baby oil on the floor. A school principal slipped, but was OK. However, the school administrator wasn’t alone in encountering the slippery mess.

“I saw what happened. I walked down the hallway. I almost fell,” said Antwon Payton, an East Wake junior.

The buses and hallways were cleaned immediately and no one else was injured, school officials said.

Michael Evans, spokesman for Wake County Public School System, said the students will be allowed to take exams and graduate, but will not be allowed to walk with their class at the June 14 commencement ceremonies. [source]

Star Mangled Banner

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Principal Joe Clark approved the Ms. Powers remix to East Side High’s school song but would frown upon this. Praise thy name, praise thy name!

Just in time to garner a little extra promotion for his upcoming Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Tyrese Gibson turned up to sing the national anthem last night at Game 5 of NBA’s Western Conference finals and ended up angering the patriotic masses by changing its words to better fit his rooting interest.

While belting out the pregame staple, Gibson unexpectedly did away with the seminal line “our flag was still there,” replacing the words with the boo-inciting “our Lakers were still there.” Gibson has yet to comment on the controversy, though he did twitter this morning that he feels “sick” and, due to his sudden yet unspecified illness, has canceled all activities for the day. [source]

Look on the bright side of things. This situation could have been a hell of a lot worse if Uncle Carl showed up to do the damn thing.

Or Cousin Kenny Mack.