Archive for the 'Team Chunk Stand The Fuck Up' Category

Your Two Cents Required: Florida Man Loses Weight To Gain Freedom

Making the decision to downgrade his Team Chunk platinum membership to a more basic package 345-pound George McCovery not only improved his health but also reduced his time as a Booty Warrior thanks to a Lake County, Fla., judge’s “lose-a-pound, gain-a-day” deal, dropping 25 pounds in 20 days.

George McCovery 240x300 Your Two Cents Required: Florida Man Loses Weight To Gain Freedom Donna Miller, whose courtroom proceedings are replayed in the TV show “Lake Courts,” is famous for her unusual sentence deals. In her 17 years as a judge, Miller has ordered defendants to start jogging, take a dance class, tutor math and write Christmas cards, according to the Sentinel.

“I do what I do to try to change the person in front of me,” she said, acknowledging that her self-improvement sentences won’t be doled out to everyone. “If the person needs jail, they get jail.”

Miller said she would check McCovery’s weight after 20 days. And to her surprise, he had already shed 25 pounds.

“It’s not easy to lose weight,” Miller told the Sentinel. “I thought he’d lose 5, maybe, 6 pounds — not 25.”

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Can Christina Aguilera Fill Out Her Team Chunk Application In Peace?

xtina Can Christina Aguilera Fill Out Her Team Chunk Application In Peace?

Christina Aguilera’s powerhouse cattle cry and multiple raw emotion hand waves took a backseat to the chatter about her noticeable weight gain following the Michael Jackson tribute concert over the weekend. Tears in my rib tips.

Upon taking the stage in a tight, corseted onesie and fishnets, Christina was visibly disheveled. Brittan’s the Daily Mail was one of the many news outlets to weigh in unfavorably on the singer’s new look. “Her blonde hair, which was filled out with long extensions, was matted mess and her skimpy corset and fishnets did little to flatter her very curvy figure,” writes the Daily Mail reporter.

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Watch This: Ices Brown Twerks It Out To “Countdown”

Ices Brown is body confident and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. Donning her most ill-fitting dress to date the web cam kitten matches her weight in gold while performing “coreagrafee” to Beyonce’s infectious hit “Countdown.”

All up in the kitchen in my heels — dinner time!

Sexual Napalm: Susanne Eman

se1 Sexual Napalm: Susanne Eman

My 2011 goal sheet < This.

Susanne Eman tells London’s Sun that she is eating in the neighborhood of 20,000 calories a day in order to place her bid in of becoming the fattest woman in the world because it makes her feel “confident and sexy.” If Eman can reach her goal, she would beat Carol Yager, believed to have peaked at a whoping 1,156 pounds. She passed away in 1994 at the age of 34.

An example of a normal dinner for the single mom of two includes 12 tacos followed by 8 scoops of ice cream with brownies. Eman also adds that she spends around eight hours filling six carts with snacks on snacks on snacks during her monthly supermarket shop.

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Your Two Cents Required: Is Team Chunk Taking The L With This Photo Shoot?

vice1 Your Two Cents Required: Is Team Chunk Taking The L With This Photo Shoot?

A spread titled “Tons of Fun” featuring 11 plus size models (or thick snacks as Huny would say — rawr) shot by popular photographer Terry Richardson for Vice magazine is garnering both cheers and jeers from women of all sizes.

Stylite.com explains:

The images are shot against his standard white studio background with his standard blown out lighting. And while we are inclined to applaud Richardson for breaking out of what is presumably his comfort zone of all white, all skinny models, we’re torn on his intentions with this shoot. On paper it’s all there — racial diversity, check! size diversity, check! — but it’s almost as though Richardson is thumbing his nose at his critics, saying Look at this! Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?

The models are shot in the same unflattering light he often uses for his straight-sized subjects and posed in the usual hyper-sexualized positions which, if they weren’t so obviously Richardson’s trademark, would make a great case for the argument that fashion photographers have a serious problem shooting plus size models in anything other than varying states of undress.

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Sexual Napalm: Norma Stitz

I linked to a post about Norma’s gigantic chest cannons last month but I think we all would agree that her melons deserve more attention than that. Her cups runneth over!

Fresh,

Norma Stitz holds the Guiness record for, as she describes it, “The largest natural breasses in the world.” Her real name is Annie Hawkins-Turner but Norma Stitz is a play off of “enormous tits” because her breasts be layed like Meeka Claxton’s wonk eyes! Yes, God, Hontey! This Big-Titty-Bitty does fetish modeling with her 102 ZZZs as well as porn through her own production company. She says old men used to offer her sweets to flash them. From the looks of it she took up the offers. I only have one question. What do you supposed could be found underneath her fun(k) bags besides candy rappers and spare change?

– Karian

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Come And Get Your Cousins Please: Got Purp?

The last time I heard this Dru Hill song I needed a hall pass to go to the bathroom. I’ve got nothing else to say about this video other than shouts out to Drea for sending in this lifetime supply of grape Robitussin.

News Break: McDonald’s Ordered To Pay $17,500 For Making Employee Fat

Team Chunk: All we do is win.

Talk about an occupational hazard. A former manager of a McDonald’s franchise in Porto Allegre, Brazil, was awarded $17,500 as recompense for gaining 65 lbs. over 12 years on the job, the AP reports.

Judge Joao Filho ruled on the lawsuit brought against the company by the 32-year-old former employee on Oct. 26, declaring that McDonald’s should pay $17,500 because the employee ballooned from about 155 lbs. to 231 lbs. while working at the restaurant in southern Brazil.

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People You Should Be Paying Homage To: Lady Rerun

In Mook we trust!

No, Rerun from What’s Happenin hasn’t risen from the grave and returned as a drag queen. If you’re living in the Chicagoland area, you’ve probably seen this ad. Believe it or not, Lady Rerun is the daughter of William “The Refrigerator” Perry (aka the Fridge) of the ‘86 Chicago Bears Super Bowl team! Guess they couldn’t get one of the Fridgettes (look it up, I dare you).

Ignore the bad MJ impersonator . . .

YouTube commenter: “Those weren’t background dancers . . . those were people caught in her gravitational pull!” iDie.

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Feeling stressed out? Take a moment out your hectic day to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

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