Archive for the 'Tang Game Proper' Category

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

104070233 Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

The viewing for Marco Hall Spring 2011 collection during New York Fashion Week was one delicious 800 calorie serving of zestation delight swimming in a sea of creme brulée, but even more scrumptious than that was Gaymonn’s single ruby red lip and absentee eyebrows. Indulge!

Sexual Napalm: Tommy Davidson

tommy Sexual Napalm: Tommy Davidson

Does this fever really warrant a write up? I didn’t think so. Prepare your pulsating Polly Pockets for take off! I’m sucking zest residue from a hundred bags of Doritos off my finger tips as we speak.

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Quick Quotes: Ne-Yo Will No Longer Tolerate Your Gay Fish Shade

neyo tang Quick Quotes: Ne Yo Will No Longer Tolerate Your Gay Fish Shade

Cooking up a gay joke at Go-Go’s expense? You might want to go and put it on the back burner and check the credits, heaux.

There’s one rumor that just, for whatever reason, will not die and I’m convinced that it’s just because they really can’t figure out anything else to say about me, which kind of doesn’t make any sense because if you really just wanted to talk bad about me you could. But there’s this whole gay thing that keeps following me around.

Apparently, I’m gay. Pretty much anybody that sings and has a penis is gay. So, I’m part of that elite squad according to multiple blog sites. I guess it’s because I never shot a person or talked about shooting a person or had a desire to shoot a person that I’m gay. (source)

Allow me to paraphrase Antoine Dodson for a moment:

Ne-Yo, you don’t have to come confess what you did. We looking for you, and we gon’ find you, so I’m letting you know that raht nah. So you can run and tell that, homeboy!

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

tang paris Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

If you weren’t able to catch the premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race bend over and recieve this booster shot until a re-run airs! I care for you.

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

What happens in the bathroom at Job Corps stays in the bathroom at Job Corps.

Until now.

If you thought beauty secrets from the zestations were only limited to make-up and the art of perfecting a tuck, pull the trigger. Armed with a fresh toothbrush and a year supply of clear gel, lifestyle guru DollFaceBarbieTM gives a tutorial on how to achieve Rozonda Thomas-like baby hair.

Results may vary. Thanks Tanya!

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin: Guess Who Edition

guess who Your Daily Tang Multivitamin: Guess Who Edition

Try to divert your attention from Kandi’s Dragonball-Z hair and Lawrence being painted and prepped for a meeting with the gods and get into the two fellas playing the bookend position. Do they look familiar to you? Wait for it, wait for it . . .

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More Tang For Your Buck

tang4 More Tang For Your Buck

As a Team Chunk all-star I know the mental war that occurs when you are force to decide on choosing  just one dessert to take back to your table while on a romantic first date at Golden Corral [you don't want to look too greedy the first time around], so trust me when I say that I’m laying down in the fucking trenches of my brain clutching my m-16. I want to collect them all like Pokemon cards!

I need Jesus to carry me and leave his footprints in the sand. All praises due to Freddy O for providing today’s glucose!

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Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

derek j Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Atlanta celebrity [quotation marks with your fingers please] hair stylist Derek J may have ditched his stilettos for a pair of hard bottoms but his pussy is still suffering from asphyxiation. Now who wants to perform some mouth to mouth? Hit up Sandra Rose for more flicks from the Collective Renaissance Guild’s Winter Ball ‘09.

Guest Blog: Destiny’s Dickless

Hey, ya’ll. This here is Michael Arceneaux, he who clowns over at The Cynical Ones.

Although I have since relocated to LaLa land I am actually a Houston native with more Creole in him than a House of Dereon ad. That said, when I made my way home for the holidays I decided to trek on over to some of the clubs that cater to Team Peen.

If you didn’t know, Houston has about as much trade as Barbie’s dream house so I wasn’t completely shocked when I spotted folks who can only claim to be female if they have enough duct tape that night dip it, pop it, twirk it, stop it to Queen 1B.

When I initially saw these three, my first reaction was to go home and pray that God lead me to a vagina because there’s no way in hell I deserved to be grouped with Destiny’s Dickless.

Soon after I realized I’m only saying that because I got a bad knee and can’t jig like I used to.

But now that my shade has subsided, I invite you to take a second to acknowledge baby blue balls to the right of your screen. Not only did he (or is it she?) serve the kids in her nut cutters, earlier that evening you could’ve spotted hurr jerkin in stilettos. Take that, Ciara.

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Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

We have all been guilty of reciting lines from our favorite movies but this was like being invited to the VIP section in the upper room. Get into it! Black America’s got talent!

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