Archive for the 'Somebody Call The Law!' Category

Something In The Milk Ain’t Clean: Kris Humphries

Posted by Fresh on September 21, 2011

kris h Something In The Milk Aint Clean: Kris Humphries

Who runs the world? Gworls! Clutch your Tampax pearls as tight as you can before taking a whiff to determine if this is dirty lactose or not.

Kris Humphries (sans wife Kim Kardashian) was photographed giving full-on The Al Reynolds School of Posing, Snarling, and Financial Backing tease (thanks for that perfect description, M.J.) at the NUVO Lemon Sorbet Launch And 2012 Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 Unveiling inside Manhattan Motorcars on Tuesday night.

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How Dreadful: Ex-Substitute Teacher Pregnant With Student’s Twins

Posted by Fresh on June 8, 2011

Former Clayton County teacher Rene Frank was fired and later told by the laws to not go pass go or collect $200 after she was accused of having sex with a 17-year-old student.

No doubt inspired by the copy of 12 Play that raised her, the 27-year-old substitute teacher reportedly was having off-campus sex with the minor from her math class inside of her parked car (sub’s can’t spend money on motels) numerous times.

Clearly not understanding that in the state of George one has to 1 + 17 equals a legal right to 69, Frank is now being held in jail without bond. If that weren’t bad enough, she’s also pregnant with twins by the boy.

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Somebody Call The Law! |

An Usher and Tameka Sex Tape? Drag Me To Hell.

Posted by Fresh on March 14, 2011

tameka usher An Usher and Tameka Sex Tape? Drag Me To Hell.

Curiosity killed the cat but regardless of the validity of the gossip at hand this pussy is staying alive to fight for another day! A sex tape featuring Usher and ex-wife Tameka Raymond sucking the salt from around each other’s rims rims rims rims in the bedroom is currently being shopped around to the highest bidder.

Sources close to Usher — without specifically admitting the existence of a sex tape — tell TMZ they believe this video could have been among the things Usher had stolen out of his car back in December 2009. Usher reported more than $1,000,000 worth of jewelry and electronics taken, including two laptop computers.

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News Flash, Lil’ Wayne’s Fans Aren’t Always The Brightest.

Posted by Fresh on February 24, 2011

lil wayne fan 007 wenn54410 News Flash, Lil Waynes Fans Arent Always The Brightest.

Just in case you didn’t know already know: Killer Mike is underrated, Diddy owns the rights to Biggie’s life (sorry Voletta), Drake is sensitive to the touch, and Consequence could easily scrape the inside lining of your fallopian tubes by giving your box face time.

Now that we’ve got that out the way read what a Lil’ Wayne fan did to have an up-close and personal encounter with the Loch Ness Monster From New Orleans below.

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Somebody Call The Law! |

Video: Taylor Swift Raps “Super Bass” By Nicki Minaj

Posted by Fresh on February 4, 2011

nicki taylor Video: Taylor Swift Raps Super Bass By Nicki Minaj

Fresh off her appearance on Shaq and Hoopz’s bathroom wall, Taylor Swift made a joyful noise onto Nicki Min-allah during a recent visit to Nashville’s radio station 107.5 The River.

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Somebody Call The Law! |

Nas Ordered To Pay For One Expensive Ass Milkshake

Posted by Fresh on April 12, 2010

TMZ reports:

nas kels Nas Ordered To Pay For One Expensive Ass MilkshakeNas went to court Monday over his divorce with Kelis — and walked out a little lighter in the wallet.

According to documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Nas had to immediately fork over $47,249.42 in back child support and $40,454 in back spousal support.

The judge also ordered Nas to pay $10,000/month in spousal support until he pays off the $299,015.50 he owes Kelis.

Nas also has to pay 90% of Kelis’ legal fees in the amount of $155,787.28.

Lastly, Nas has to pay $48,549.83 to cover Kelis’ accounting expenses.

The lesson, as always — when Laura Wasser reps your ex, settle as quickly as possible. Nas just learned that the hard way.

The burning question on everyone’s mind tonight: Who gets to keep the matching Nigger jackets? Like I said before, we need to unite together and show out support for Nasir by placing banners on all of our blogs linking to his relief website like we did Haiti.

Check out what some of my hilarious followers on Twitter had to say about the court’s ruling below.

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Hollywood Divorce, Somebody Call The Law!, Sucks To Be You |
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News Break: Two Crooks Target Mom At Chuck E. Cheese’s

Posted by Fresh on December 22, 2009

This has Khia and Jacki-P’s name written all over it. That is all.

Two female crooks prey on a Mid-South mom, targeting her at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

Her family was there celebrating her 6-year-old son’s birthday when police say two women posing as customers helped themselves to her wallet.

It happened Friday at the Horn Lake location, right off Goodman Road and I-55.

“They didn’t just select a random purse to steal from, they watched a person with four small children, the week before Christmas,” said the victim, Tabitha Stacks.

She says she walked away for just a moment to watch her son play a game. Hours later, she discovered, her wallet was missing.

“You’re just devastated,” she said. “My whole financial life was in that wallet, all my credit cards, my debit card, my checking account information.”

Horn Lake Police are waiting to receive a copy of the surveillance tape from Chuck E. Cheese’s.

“There were two black females standing by the table, one ducked under the table and stole her wallet,” said Lt. Scott Evans of the Horn Lake Police Department.

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It's Cold In These Parking Lots, Its Fun To Do Hood Rat Stuff, Somebody Call The Law! |

Mama Tina 2.0 Goes To Court

Posted by Fresh on December 18, 2009

tina1 Mama Tina 2.0 Goes To Court

I’m on my Louis shit today fuck some Gucci Man.

People can’t seem to stop finding great bargains at Mary J. Blige’s weekend rummage sales. I can’t wait to scoop up the bubble jacket she wore in the video for “Love Is All We Need” so my Mama can give the rest of the usher board fever.

But I digress.

Tina Douglas told a Manhattan jury earlier this week that Devard Hurd attached photos of male genitals to some of the more than 30 rambling text messages sent to her cell phone over several weeks earlier this year.

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A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, It's Not Right But It's Okay, Somebody Call The Law! |

Brazen Beauty: Young Melo

Posted by Fresh on December 14, 2009

I’m not going to ruin this moment for you since I want you to get the full experience but lets just say if someone were to set up a surveillance camera in my bedroom they would probably catch some of the following activities happening on pay weeks and holidays. Thanks Blogxilla for shining this light on me!

Brazen Beauties, Chew This Ass, Collecting My Coins, Somebody Call The Law!, YAAAAAASSSSS!!! |

Day Late, Dollar Short: Details of Ashanti’s Stalker

Posted by Fresh on December 10, 2009

wtf really Day Late, Dollar Short: Details of Ashantis Stalker

Black Fran Drescher really has a special effect on small animals and people. Please make note of the possible piss stain on the carpet in the above picture. But this shit right here . . .

Singing star Ashanti has a creepy stalker – an Indiana salesman who has bombarded her mother with lewd text messages and gross, X-rated pictures, prosecutors said.

Devar Hurd, 31, is accused of stalking and harassing Tina Douglas with 32 messages between May 29 and July 18 and numerous phone calls in February.

He was arrested July 22 in Griffith, Ind., where he lives, and has been locked up at Rikers Island since.

He pleaded not guilty and faces possible trial in Manhattan Supreme Court on Monday.

The messages he sent were bizarrely personal and often explicit and included sex acts he wanted to perform on the mother and her daughters, court papers say.

“Hey Tina baby, how u doing sexy,” read a May 29 message. “Tell Shani I’m coming straight home from work to put in sum overtime. U know how I do, LOL.”

He also sent revealing pictures of himself, photos of Douglas’ home and a picture of Ashanti’s car, the documents said.

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A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, Night Night Keep Your Butthole Tight!, Now That's Love . . . Black Love, Somebody Call The Law! |

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