Although I’m sure your parents reinforced the following the first time you came home with tears streaming down your beautiful face following a playground disagreement I’m going to go ahead and say it again: Everyone doesn’t know how to keep it cute and say thanks.
Well documented fuck girl (yes, human borns with fallopian tubes can fall into that social ranking) Lolo Jones offered the advice to apply a Meagan Good endorsed perm to hair roots to a young woman who dressed as her for Halloween.
But if I decided to call into work petty and mention how a gold medal shouldn’t be included in that costume I’m just another faceless hater, right? Table for one, please.
Have you checked your spam folder lately? Golden Brooks sent an email blast announcing a private sale on gently used virgin remy wefts and lace fronts late last week.
Beating everybody to the punch was Azealia Banks. The Harlem rapper rocked tresses from the ‘Girlfriends’ Season 6 Collection during her time in the UK this week. Here she is leaving BBC 1 Radio yesterday.
In related news you definitely don’t give a fuck about, Azealia called out Lady Gaga on Twitter for being a copycat after catching wind of the “Applause” singer’s outfit suggestions for her performance at the iTunes Festival in London.
On Wednesday, Mother Monster tweeted, “I will be providing a list of acceptable attire for #SwineFest throughout the week. Item 1: Seashells. Item 2: Seahorses. 3: Starfish.” (Gaga will perform her new single “Swine” at the concert. We’ll see if Trick Daddy was right about pork not ever murdering anybody.)
To which the 22-year-old rapper replied, “Hmmmm sounds a lot like Azealia Banks’ mermaid balls. Of course Gaga wants to play mermaid again, pfft.”
Girl, I Guess: Presenting The Hood Booger-Approved Alternative To ‘Tron’
File this one under “Make My Name Taste Like Ass When You Speak It.”
Rush Limbaugh can’t seem to keep Oprah‘s name out of his cum catcher.
Days after suggesting Oprah experienced discrimination when a saleswoman refused to show her an expensive handbag in a Switzerland shop was because she is the proud owner of a FUPA rather than racism (since it doesn’t exist in Europe, duh niggas), the outspoken radio host and conservative commentator continued to obsess over Winfrey’s weight.
“Oprah is a plus-size woman, and there is discrimination against plus-size women. You don’t see a whole lot of really fashionable, wealthy, overweight women. Most fashionably wealthy women are stick-thin. Unless you get into the frumpy ’70s and ’80s, but even then it’s an exception, to see a very wealthy, overweight, fat woman.”
Previously on his show, he shared with listeners:
“We do not know [if] the salesperson based her judgment on The Oprah’s skin color. The salesperson obviously thought that The Oprah couldn’t afford the what is it—$38,100 bag. Maybe it’s because The Oprah’s fat . . . [and] how was The Oprah dressed? I mean, she didn’t look like The Oprah, obviously. Was she wearing [a] jumpsuit with tennis shoes￼, maybe Air Jordans that were not lace up? I mean, who knows?”
Since revealing the shopping incident to Larry King last week, Oprah has received an apology from Switzerland’s tourism office. She later offered her own apology at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘Lee Daniels’ The Butler’ on Monday night.
And this little piggy went “Stop it, five!” all the way home.
Kim Kardashian stuffed her swollen feet inside a $2,950 pair of Givenchy Albertina podium heels for an afternoon out with mom Kris Jenner in Los Angeles yesterday. At last, your great-aunt pearl and someone on the E! channel finally have something in common. She paired the sandals with a white open sleeve dress from the same designer. House Mother Kanye would have it no other way.
Oh Tyrese, why must you insist on being that stubborn strand of pubic hair on a wash cloth that refuses to detach itself on the final rinse? The hood’s leading life coach is back with a wellness and fitness edition of his poignant bumper sticker wisdom. Who is up for a round of So The Fuck What?
The off-screen personification of Melvin’s sweet little chocolate bitch in ‘Baby Boy’ had the following to say about Team Chunk in a recent interview:
“When you take a shower and you put your fat, nasty body in the shower and by the time you get out, the mirrors are all steamed up so you don’t look at what you did to yourself. That may sound offensive or insensitive but ultimately, you are big as hell because you have earned that shit. You worked your ass off to eat everything in sight to get big as hell.” | source
The man that knows something knows that he knows nothing at all.