Archive for the 'Side Eye Deluxe' Category

Friday Fuckery: The “YOU GOT PREGNANT ON PURPOSE [AND QUICKLY]” SIDE EYE

That Ain\'t Right!

Fresh let me give the back story on this here double side eye fever that’s being served in the attached photo. The girl with the fro in the black is about 7 months pregnant by my cousin in the blue and they’ve only known each other for about 10 months [you do the math]. My aunt’s and cousin’s side eyes are clearly saying — in the infamous words of Dr. Dre from the Chronic 2001 — that’s “THE OL’ KEEP A NIGGA BABY.”

Love you. keep it crunk for Team Chunk!

– Maria Conchita Alonso Solomon Smith Barney Brown Fernandez [you know how we latins do]

The “Where Madonna At?!” Side-Eye

Help.

Fresh,

I was at the doctors office looking in one of their magazines and came across this picture. I immediately fell on the floor laughing at this “you know you ain’t my daddy” side eye action. I hope you enjoy!

- – Alicia

The “Don’t Make Me Chris Brown Yo’ Ass” Side-Eye

Bitch, What?

Hey Fresh,

I have not submitted side-eye action in quite some time, but I ran across this photo of Demi and Ashton at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner and had to share. This side eye has ME nervous. I’m sure Demi “Chris-Browned” Ashton when they got home.

- – Quick [From The House of Quick's Catch-Up, get you a piece]

The “We’re Still Not Convinced” Side-Eye

Ciara @ 106 & Park

Shouts out to Playa From The Himalayas who also peeped the fever! Gold star for you!

Freshalina!

I was feeling mighty low. I was feeling mighty bad. But when I see’d the looks on those two girls faces in the back side eyeing CiCi [Zoom], I knowed there is a God.

Just paying it forward,
Eunice

The “You Ain’t Beyonce, Pose Right!” Side-Eye

But first, Happy Birthday to Me! I would much rather spend today focusing strictly on fuckery so if you have anything you would like to see posted hit me up through the contact form or on Twitter!

More Micro Side-Eye Action

Someone sent in a group picture of elementary school kids who were honored for random acts of kindness to our newspaper. The side eye is fierce here. Little Emily must’ve been trained by Keri Hilson. Co-workers say maybe she just has to use the bathroom, but I know a Sasha Fierce in training when I see one.

- – Kizzy’s Shift Manager

Caption This Fever!

Usher Side-Eye Action

Ohh wee! I can’t find the proper words to describe it so you have ago at it. Shouts out to Maurice for sending this soul snatcher in! Why do you insist on assisting the devil?!

The “Oh, Word?” Side-Eye

Fail

Look at Michelle’s X-treme side-eye at this hideous and sort of violent depiction of Sojourner Truth. It’s the first sculpture of an black woman at the Capitol – and it’s whack. Why cut her in half so awkwardly and — worst — no arms? Something ain’t clean. Everybody’s smiling, but Michelle can’t hide the WTF. I call the pic: “Come and get your artist cousin.”

- – Rachel

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