[CRUNK + DISORDERLY] FRESH WOULD FAIL YUNG BERG’S POOL TEST

Friends . . . How Many of Us Have Them?

Posted by Fresh on July 25, 2008

Friends, Romans, cunty me, lend me your ears! This is a text book example of the “you didn’t give me any gas money so you better pay for my food - - and yes, I’m order the most expensive item on the menu” side-eye from hell.

It’s normal to receive side-eye glares from random people but when the folks in your inner circle start mugging your ass like you owe them back child support, take a moment to re-evaluate the relationship. There’s nothing worse than a having a hating momofuka you break bread and sip kool-aid with hanging around.

Speaking of kool-aid, Tiny’s hair . . . I can’t and neither should you. Check out more flicks from her birthday dinner, including one of our little homie King [or Kang if you talk with a twang] cooling it with the fairer sex at Straight From The A. Baby Daniel better step his game up!

Fresh Out The Roots Box Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on July 23, 2008

No words are necessary. Thanks Amber!

Severe Soror Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on July 16, 2008

Sometimes in the world of Greekdom you have sit aside our fraternal loyalties and call a HAM a HAM or at least show your utter disgust with every face muscle you can manage to tangle up. This year’s subdued Philly Greek Picnic week may have had less local riffraff, but thanks to some sadly misguided sorors and bruhs [from every organization] the shenanigans did provide some quality sideways eye and facial opportunities.

- - JayBee!

The “Girl, You So Cultured” Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on July 11, 2008

I’m not even mad at Chocolate Homer Simpson for this one. Thanks Xilla!

Super Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on July 8, 2008

Hey Fresh,

Just thought I would do my part to increase awareness of the spectacular and rare phenomenon of the side eye. I saw this on the net and had to share, dunno if you are familiar with it, if you are not, i would like you to spread the glory of this truly magnificent specimen to all of Crunkdom, they deserve it. Keep up the good work with the site.

Yours truly
- - Dre

The Not My Goodies Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on July 3, 2008

The side-eye in the above flick featuring a 40-year-old groom sitting beside his 11-year-old future bride in Afghanistan was so on point that is won top honors top honors in the annual Photo of the Year contest sponsored by the United Nations Children’s Fund [UNICEF]. As you can see she doesn’t want his five dollar foot long anywhere near her ajus dipping sauce. Thanks Anne for the photo!

Cross Generational Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on June 27, 2008

Jared submitted this glorious textbook example of the “you still breathing over there?” side-eye. I gave this exact side-eye to one of my substitute teachers from elementary school when I saw her wobbling up an aisle in K-Mart at an after Christmas sale last year.

That lady had to be at least 217 years old when I was in elementary school. I’m a grown woman now and she is still kicking? Something in the milk ain’t clean! Her ass is sleeping in a hyperbaric chamber.

The “Are You Sure This Is Your Resume?” Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on June 23, 2008

Chad was talking to US Senator Richard Burr about his community work around the country when he blantanlty gave our crunkster the “So you think you Obama now?” side-eye of death action. God don’t like ugly, Mr. Senator. Don’t be mad because he’s styling on you.

Skinny Women Are Evil Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on June 18, 2008

Greetings bust it babies! I was on hand to witness the miracle of life yesterday, hence my unexcused absence. Shout out to all the mothers + pregnant men out there. After experiencing a birth first hand, I don’t know if I am going to push a baby out myself now, ha. This is great birth control.

Now on to business. D. sent in this picture of one of my fellow card carrying members of Team Chunk giving some waif broad the side-eye. I know this expression because I give it to the women in Charlotte Russe whenever I go in with my skinny crew.

Game Time Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on June 16, 2008

Kobe Bryant was on the receiving end of one chilly side-eye from his daughter Natalia after just barely squeezing past the Celtics on Sunday night, extending this best-of-seven NBA Finals to a sixth game in Boston.

Little Natalia is probably thinking “I didn’t get all dressed up like that heffa to come and watch you fuck up! I need results.”