CNN is reporting that a jury found has acquitted R. Kelly on all counts at his child pornography trial.

The verdict came six years after the R&B superstar was first charged with videotaping himself having sex with a young girl. Prosecutors had said she was as young as 13 at the time.

The Grammy award-winning singer dabbed his face with a handkerchief and hugged each of his four attorneys after the verdict was read. The singer had faced 15 years in prison if convicted.

Both Kelly and the now 23-year-old alleged victim had denied they were the ones appearing on the tape, which was played for the jury at the beginning and end of the trial.

The prosecution’s star witness was a woman who said she engaged in three-way sex with Kelly and the girl from the video. Defense attorneys argued the man on the tape didn’t have a large mole on his back, as Kelly does.

I can’t and I will not.

R. Kelly’s lawyer Sam Adam Jr. has suggested that an alleged sex tape featuring the R&B star could have been created using the special effects technology from the film Little Man.

 

Kelly - currently standing trial on child pornography charges - saw his lawyer argue to the court that a video showing him allegedly engaging in a sex act with an underage girl may have been tampered with using computer graphics.

During the defense’s cross examination of the victim’s friend Simha Johnson, Adam asked the witness if she had seen the film Little Man.

He said: “They put the head of Marlon Wayans on a midget and it looked real, didn’t it?” Jamison replied “Not really!”, causing the courtroom to erupt into laughter. [source]

On Tuesday, the first day of testimony, jurors saw police photos that revealed a dark, caterpillar-shaped mole in the middle of Kelly’s lower back. But defense lawyer Sam Adam Jr. told jurors the sex videotape at the center of the case shows a man without a mole.

“Robert Kelly is not on that tape,” Adam said in his opening statement. On the tape, the man’s “back is illuminated, and there is no mole.”

As the jurors steeled themselves to watch what prosecutors insist is child pornography, technical staff tinkered with the equipment. Eventually, the tape played on a six-foot projection screen.

A flash of static passed across the screen and then there he was, a man whom prosecutors say is R. Kelly, sitting in a wood-paneled room, trying out his seat alone, miming the motions of sex.

The video shows a girl accepting money from the man before performing oral sex on him. She dances, naked, to a Backstreet Boys song. She urinates. She calls him “Daddy” while they have sex. Later, the man urinates and ejaculates on her. [source 1 +2]

Kelly looked sad as the tape played, frowning at the screen, tilting his head to one side and resting it on his hand. [Oh shit. - - Fresh]

Night night, keep your butt hole tight.

I’m still infuriated that he was fucking that girl to a Backstreet Boys song. That doesn’t make you larger than life, dick head. Get some N’Sync in your world.

Jury selection was completed at R. Kelly’s child pornography trial Thursday amid contentious exchanges between prosecutors and defense attorneys, who accused each other of trying to stack the panel along racial lines.

Of the 12 jurors who will open the case, eight are white and four are black. The four alternates include two blacks, one Hispanic and one white.

There are four African Americans: a man in his 40s who works as a chef; a self-described Christian in his 50s who knows of Barry Hankerson (the uncle of late singer Aaliyah who could potentially be called as a witness); a female teacher’s aide in her late 20s or early 30s; and a middle-aged woman who is married to a pastor and resides in Olympia Fields, the same neighborhood Kelly lives in.

The eight white jurors consist of a man in his 40s who previously served as a juror on a another case; a twentysomething female criminal-justice student; a compliance officer in his 30s; an executive and father of two; a man who says he’s seen faded-out clips of the alleged video on the news but can judge the case fairly; a male recent college graduate who was once arrested for possession of marijuana and underage drinking; a 68-year-old Romanian-American who said he’s “probably not the smartest guy but will do what is best and fair”; and a young female athletic trainer who admitted to having once been the victim of rape. [continue reading]

To coincide with his single “Hair Braider,” R.Kelly has a website dedicated to fans who want to showcase their braids designs. Boy stop! That shit is so 1997. Viewers can rate the coif creations from “straight back wack” to “lookin’ like spaghetti.”

I can’t. And I will not.

On a more serious note, the Chicago Sun Times is reporting a woman will testify to having a threesome with the singer and the underage girl shown in the video at the heart of the case.

As part of the case, prosecutors claim to have identified the girl in the videotape. This alleged victim is now in her 20s. Kelly’s lawyers plan to argue — and the alleged victim will reportedly testify — that she is not the girl in the tape.

But the prosecution’s new witness could undermine that defense, since she will identify the girl, sources with knowledge of the matter told the Chicago Sun-Times. In addition, the witness is expected to say the girl was underage at the time of their encounter.

“She was involved in a threesome with [the girl] and R. Kelly,” one source said.

Prosecutors and defense lawyers declined to comment, citing a gag order in the case.

The witness’ testimony was among the evidence discussed in secret hearings last month before Judge Vincent Gaughan. The judge, citing concerns about pretrial publicity, closed the hearings to the public and put multiple court filings under seal.

The Sun-Times, Chicago Tribune and the Associated Press filed a legal challenge to unseal the proceedings and documents, as did WBEZ-FM (91.5). Those challenges are still pending.

At one of the closed hearings, Gaughan ruled in the prosecution’s favor and said testimony about the threesome would be admissible at trial, sources said.

I have better things to do with my day than analyze this video. Go straight to jail Robert, do not pass go and do not collect $200!

This shit is right here is why I don’t like checking my email. There is always some USDA approved fuckery waiting in the wings for me. It never fails. I need to relax my nerves after this one. I’m going to go grab a tin roof brownie blizzard from Dairy Queen and watch The Food Network. It’s like NFL All Access for Team Chunk members. Damn you B. Dot for ruining my night.

Robert Kelly has a new song titled “Hairbraider” that is about - - GENIUS ALERT - - smashing the girl who braids his hair. Bitch please. Click here to check out the audio buffoonery. I’m sure some people will claim that this shit is the greatest thing they have heard since that gorilla fuckery from a few years back.

R.Kelly dropped a diss track titled “I’m A Beast” aimed directly at the always timeless, always tangy Ne-Yo. I’ve had enough fuckery in my world in the last 24 hours to last me until June, so I will pass.

click here to listen

CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! [1]