DMX and drugs. The two just can’t seem to see eye to eye.  The troubled rapper was arrested on Tuesday in Arizona for five counts of violating his probation on drug charges.

“He admitted to using cocaine, so he’s back in our jail,” said Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “I think it’s about time to give him hard time.” The get-tough sheriff said if the rapper is serious about kicking his drug habit, the Arizona jail system — where X has already logged time on animal cruelty and drug possession charges — could help him get clean

During his court appearance he did what any of you other self respecting cousins would do and showed the fuck out. This should be a Tyler Perry movie.

Speaking into the same microphone used by The Great Darryl Nathan during the historic recording of “International Lover,” Frankie gives an update about manning up for the second season of her hit reality show before nominating Freddy O for an Image Award for being “the right type of blogger.” iConcur!

Fist Pump: Straight From The A

My friend in the head, DMX [don’t judge] was spotted recently at nightclub looking like the mangy dog on the side of the road that hasn’t been fed in days. Sweating, popping, locking, and dropping in VIP with an unknown broad, he turned the crowd on and gave the kids canine fever with a short performance set.

I’m actually jealous cause he seems to have it all: kids, a home, a beautiful brown skin Great Dane named Tasheera [owww!] and a plethora of nut-bucket hoes at his beck and call. It seems that the pitbulls [I’m looking at you Teyana Taylor] are having a fabulous week.

Heaven I need a hug. Times like this I feel completely inadequate and unqualified to be a distributor of fuckery. I can’t believe I almost let this one slip past!

Paula Abdul’s performance of her new song “Here Just For The Music” on American Idol this past week was nothing short of illustrious. The overtly terrible lip-syncing, awkward choreography, and my own burning desire for her to topple off stage and completely bust her shit made my soul sore to new heights. And the deep breathing at the end, oh the deep breathing. Astounding! I sound the same way when I vacuum out my car on a hot day.

If you ever wanted any further proof that Courtney Love was still on that shit – - tah dah. If Frankie was a white woman strung out “on that narcotic” [copyright Ike Turner] she would look a lot like this right about now. I will always love CL for this though . . .

Even children are fully aware when something in the milk isn’t clean! I don’t blame the little one in this picture for giving her drunk tee-tee the juggernaut side-eye. I would do the same if someone picked me up smelling of Boone’s Farm and Newports. Thanks Laban King!

A teacher in the Dallas school district was arrested at about 2 a.m. today after police say he was smoking cocaine while driving erratically in Oak Cliff.

Donald Keith Johnson, 47, a teacher at Molina High School, was charged with evading arrest and possession of cocaine, according to police. The school’s address is listed on Mr. Johnson’s driver’s license.

A police officer spotted Mr. Johnson, a Dallas resident, on West Laureland Road and attempted to pull him over because he was unable to maintain his lane, according to a Dallas police report.

According to the report, Mr. Johnson continued smoking cocaine from a crack pipe as officers pursued him.

The pursuit ended at the Houston Street Viaduct, where police had to put Mr. Johnson’s car in park because he refused to do so, according to the report.

Officers used a Taser to subdue Mr. Johnson, who resisted arrest by punching and kicking, the report states. He was taken to Parkland Memorial Hospital.

Mr. Johnson was booked into Dallas County Jail around 8 a.m. and is being held in lieu of $3,000 bond. [source - - Thanks Elliott]

WHY MUST I CRY RANKING [OUT OF 5]

The rapper’s lawyer told MTV News on Tuesday that X (born Earl Simmons) had fallen ill, but Charles Kozelka said he could not give out any specific information on his client’s condition.

“I don’t know the cause, but I know that he’s still hospitalized and that they’ve admitted him and won’t be releasing him for a couple more days,” said Kozelka, the public defender who has been assigned to DMX’s multiple court cases in Arizona.

DMX, who has been free on $25,000 bond since being extradited from Florida to Arizona on September 11, was legally free to travel to Florida, Kozelka said. He was due in court Tuesday (September 23) for an initial appearance in his case tied to a bench warrant that was issued in Arizona after X missed a court date there in August.

Kozelka said that date has now been pushed back until Monday, and he is under the assumption that X will be well enough to attend court on that day. [source]

If you thought this Jet Beauty of the Week contender was Tracee Ellis Ross at first glance raise your right hand.

Amanda Jane Darling Harris allegedly chased a group of Hispanic children, aged 9 to 15, with an 18-inch samurai sword and called them “illegal spics” because they were playing in a parking lot of the Villa apartments, according to a police report.

Stop playing and get your cousin the help she so desperately fucking needs, please. Next thinag you know she is going to be on the Marta threatening Tweety bird’s grandmother.

According to the police report, the teens said Harris yelled at the children, “If you’re scared, then you’re guilty.” That is when they said she chased them with the sword.

One boy said Harris grabbed him and held the sword to his throat, telling him he “needed to stop causing her problems.”

A girl told police that Harris chased and grabbed her and threatened to cut off her ponytail.

Harris chased the other five children through the parking lot, brandishing the sword, according to her arrest affidavit.

The children told police that Harris called them “little f****ing wetbacks” and told them to go back to their own country.

Arresting officers said Harris stated that she should have hurt one of the “illegals” if she knew she was going to go to jail over it.

Harris was arrested in her third-floor apartment on suspicion of menacing — use of a deadly weapon, misdemeanor third-degree assault with a weapon, ethnic intimidation and harassment.

Thanks Minxie for the story!

Sorry for the lack of updates today! I’ve been sleeping all day like a welfare chick and it felt so damn good. I suggest you try doing it for yourself every now and then.

But I digress.

Your cousin Earl better known as DMX cursed at a judge in Miami *crickets* I thought he told ya’ll in Belly that “the next time the county or state see me its going to be in a bag.” Child boo! Now if he would’ve tossed a crack pipe at the judge and start freestyling then I would be all over this.