Photo-Chopped & Screwed: Lil’ Kim For Three Olives Vodka
And we’re the ones who should drink responsibly?
Archive for the 'Seriously?!' Category
News Break
FORWARD. TO. SHAR. JACKSON. IMMEDIATELY.
Shenise Farrel, a British single mom, traveled to Panama for surgery to change the color of her eyes after reading about the procedure on the internet, under a heading “Life changing procedure and a vacation.” Farrell called the US number advertised in the New Color Iris company’s website linked to a Clinic in Panama city run by Dr. Delary Alberto Kahn, ophthalmic surgeon and inventor.
She withdrew her $10,000 savings to pay for the procedure and underwent five tests with opticians in the UK to check that she was suitable for the procedure. She had to pay a $3,000 deposit and provide proof of airfare and hotel.
She arrived in Panama in June. The operation consists of inserting a colored lens inside the eye over the iris and it’s not licensed in Europe. The company’s website claims the operation is patented in the US.
Illustrations From Superhead’s Hoe Shit For Dummies
According to Merriam Webster’s Online Dictionary, a Vixen can be referred to as a:
1. Female Fox
2. An attractive woman who takes advantage of men, or
3. A shrewish, ill-tempered or spiteful woman
Karrine Steffans (or also affectionately known as “Superhead” in record label offices, SUV’s outside of clubs on a Friday night, back alley ways, and other seedy places of sin) has taken the word Vixen and has tried, unsuccessfully, to make the word into a term of endearment. In her recent book, The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce, & Keep The Man You Want, she attempts to help modern women with a variety of ways, including sexual positions, to “Seduce and Keep The Man You Want.”
After seeing the pics below, the only thing that I think about when putting the words “Vixen” and “Superhead” in a sentence together is a spiteful woman, because ladies, if you use any of these NSFW illustrations that look like they come out of a third grade boys bathroom, you will ruin yourself, and your relationship and spirit will never be the same.
Gucci Makes The Snow Bunnies Go Bonkers
Thank God for small favors.
Contrary to the gossip mill Gucci Mane LeFlair isn’t trying to protect his man hood or biscuits in the big house. Rumors circulated over the weekend that he was heading back to jail after violating his probation sending him bird walking back to the slammer, prompting his attorney to release a statement denying the chitter chatter.
The only thing Gucci is guilty of is driving the snow bunnies wild! Watch and be amazed at two of your cousins [by marriage] go ape shit over his designer peen. I love chicken!
Skeet or Delete: Plies – Becky
Kid Fury again, folks!
Now, normally the tunes of Algernod will invoke the gay goon in me and I’ll drop my buttered biscuits to the floor in glee when the DJ plays his records. This new shit, “Becky”, is a bit too much for me, though. I thought this was going to be some sort of euphemism for crack/cocaine or maybe a song about white girls with small dogs and good credit! Imagine my surprise when Algae started rapping about getting his pickle licked. Get into this lyrical excerpt.
Babbit pussy ain’t my style/fire head make me smile/put that mayonnaise on your chile/you gotta be grown to fuck with Plies/the longer you suck the longer I wild.
Please, don’t play this shit at work, unless you have headphones. I don’t want anybody thinking that you’re giving your boss suckie-suckie for a raise and a new parking space. Sorry, Plies, but if this song comes on in the club, I will be sitting with the bathroom attendant until it ends. I can already see the nignorance. Girls flashing coochie on the bar, sex shows going on in dark corners. I vote no. I bet Dorion’s dick wrote this shit.
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
WHY WON’T MO’NIQUE LET HERSELF BE GREAT?!
Mo’Nique performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City as apart of the Soul Summer series last week. No matter how much want to give my Team Chunk sister credit for wanting to trim away the fat I will never be able to do so because she won’t allow herself to be great. I don’t know why she refuses to take of that shit but I guess it’s just one of those things in life that isn’t going to change any time soon.
You will be able to catch her along with her wolf pussy legs nightly on her hour long talk and variety show on BET this fall. Expect plenty of jokes about why skinny women are evil and assorted niggatry.
Open Air: High Fashion
Titty Boi and Dolla Boy [collectivly known as Playaz Circle] were two of the more fashionable acts to perform at Birthday Bash this past weekend. And yes, that’s a fork dangling on Dolla’s chest. Tell mama the first thing that comes to your mind.
Day Late, Dollar Short
There was no way I was going to let the week close out without posting this first. When Kanye blogs we all listen. And laugh, hysterically.
. . . I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING… LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE’S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA’S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA… WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH . . .
Girl, Good Day!
Last night during a video chat with his fans Bow Wow felt that it was necessary to reveal that he feels uncomfortable around fellow tang masters before sharing a story about refusing the services of a gay barber. After years of greasing Omarion’s scalp son decides to come out the blue and share this ignorance with the class.
Run Tel Dat summed things up quite nicely:
I’m guessing either the top of his dome is his hot spot or he seems to think homosexuality is contagious.
Isn’t it funny that a guy who twirled his neck like a hurricane and flinched his wrist around like it just suffered a stroke during a special with Omarion (you know, that masculine guy) is saying that he’s homophobic?
Of all people you would think a child star would be more accepting of people.
Note to Bow Wow: 12-year-olds don’t like you anymore and their older sisters never cared about you. 70% of the people who bought your album last week were probably gay.
It’s a good thing you’re retiring: You just missed out on selling an additional 7 copies of New Jack City II.
Sham fucking wow.
Vanessa Bryant Is A Bitch
. . . But you already knew that. Now this made my day:
Kobe Bryant’s former housekeeper is suing the NBA star and his wife, contending she was “harassed and humiliated,” denied health insurance and forced to quit because of “intolerable” working conditions.
In one instance, Maria Jimenez says Bryant’s wife ordered her to put her hand in a container of dog waste to retrieve the price tag of a blouse.
Jimenez filed suit Friday in Orange County Superior Court. She says in court papers that Vanessa Bryant “badgered, harassed and humiliated” her in front of Bryant, the couple’s children and others. She said the couple failed to provide health coverage, as promised when she was hired. She said she didn’t learn she didn’t have it until she became ill and sought medical attention. [source]
Wow, a bitch gets a couple thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery and a green card and all of the sudden she thinks she can treat people like shit!
Vanessa, we all know how you got here. I’m not judging you for hiding out in some nice family’s pool house overnight during your little adventure over here to the Americas. Don’t think I didn’t see you and your cousins on the True Life: I Live On The Border episode recreating the Español version of the Trail of Tears.
