Archive for the 'No One On The Corner Has A Swagger Like Us!' Category

Sexual Napalm: ‘Real Housewives of Miami’ Mom-Daughter Duo Elsa & Marysol Patton

elysa marisol Sexual Napalm: Real Housewives of Miami Mom Daughter Duo Elsa & Marysol Patton

Look, and not a stitch of photoshop!

The Real Housewives of Miami franchise appeals to me about as much as eating week expired cottage cheese (and don’t try to lure me into watching by throwing Scottie Pippen’s name or nose around, I’m good on that too) but if I ever do slip up and peep an episode it will be strictly to watch these two beauties in action.

Drunk Ass Tami better watch her back, Mama Elsa and daughter Marysol are coming for her beer tap!

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Faith Evans Brings Out The Z-listers

faith dlist Faith Evans Brings Out The Z listers

The unemployment office in Hollywood was a ghost town on Wednesday (April 7) as Dollar Menunaires from surrounding areas prepped all day long for Faith Evan’s live show later in the evening. The light at the end of the tunnel? Michel’le didn’t have to wait for a computer station to become free that day.

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News Break

egyptian bust large.thumbnail News Break

“Remember The Time” game proper.

The Pharaoh of Pop doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as King of Pop, but visitors to Chicago’s Field Museum could swear that’s Jacko’s face on a 3,000-year-old Egyptian bust.

The spitting image limestone sculpture has been on display at the museum since 1988, but recently started drawing attention because of its likeness to Jacko — complete with disfigured nose.

Unfortunately the bust, which was carved sometime between 1550 B.C. and 1050 B.C., is of a woman and MJ likely never had the chance to see the statuette.

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Friday Fuckery: Granny Makes That Booty Talk For The Police

Never mind the absence of teeth in this post.

Ladies and zestlemen have been doing all types of hoe shit to get out of tickets since the invention of the automobile but this niggatry takes the ice cream and cake. Cecily Tyson, assemble your posse of club rats. You just got your Poligrip blown up DOA style. Drive around to the first window to get your life, please.

You get down low, you hold it and squeeze it. Now you take a breathe. Hold your breath! Hold it! Now let it go! CHEW. THIS. ASS.

Angel Iris Shows Off Her Rockin’ Mohawk

angel rocker Angel Iris Shows Off Her Rockin Mohawk

It seems like it was only yesterday when Eddie Murphy was denying paternity of newborn baby Angel Iris in interviews, now she is running, jumping, and carrying glowsticks!

As a rule of thumb I try not to talk about them until they are old enough to tie their own shoes [this however does not apply to Baby Daniel, his ass has been here before on multiple occasions] so I am just going to crack and awkward smile and compliment the little one on her shoes.

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Open Air: Pink Cheri

cheri1 Open Air: Pink Cheri

I just love it when posts piggy back off of each other. God bless The Bocks for sharing and caring! Now lets all synchronize our watches to countdown when Bossip is going to snatch this one up.

Bad Boy Records is quickly becoming the number one destination for all things glowstick carrier related. I’m not sure how old or recent these flicks are because I don’t keep up with Cheri Dennis nor her mustache like that. And neither should you.I’m glad to see her still scratching and surviving though!

Today’s commercial break is being brought to you by Chris Brown’s pow chain, Jamie Foster Brown’s Sacagawea braids and Diddy saying “fuck the recession I’m still investing” while holding all of his artists checks for an extended period of time.

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The “Say Something Nice” Challenge

Iggy Pop

Spectacular you looking?! You better not tell Iggy Pop that he still can’t make his hips roll with the best of them. The 62 year old gave a Parisian crowd fever while performing earlier this week. He take his shirt off and all the hoes stopped breathing [© Gucci Mane].

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My Big Fat Redneck Wedding

Heidi + Seal

Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their vows as they celebrate their four year anniversary wedding with a trailer trash themed ceremony. Seal wore a faux mullet [which made him look even more beastly] while Heidi sported the cliche white woman “I got these kitchen ass cornrows while on vacation” look. Keep the romance alive kids! The couple is currently expecting a baby girl later this year.

Get you an additional piece of Seal looking the fool after the jump!

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My Umi Says Get You A Piece, Whore!

Gag Whore!

That ice cold shiver that just went up your spine is not via The Case of the Cottles but from the slice of heaven pictured above. That is all. Girl, is your pussy in critical condition yet?! Kisses and french fries [© Drama Dupree] to the good people at Gossip On This for sharing this zestifully clean moment with the world!

Casket Sharp: Your White Cousins At The Costume Institute Gala Edition

Leighton Meister Madonna

As long as it means they are going to end up on a best / worst dressed lists, you can’t tell these hoes nothing. We call it being a whore for propaganda, they call it publicity. Why do you insist on assisting the devil?

This shit right here is why Madonna is having issues adopting little African children. You think you can just roll up to the village and try to put a child on layaway after showing up in public dressed in Solange’s Easter speech outfit? You ain’t Grace Jones, it doesn’t work like that. Take that shit back to the Kabalah Center.  I would have better luck trying to put a Honduran orphan on credit wear a pair of pink jellies and a Platinum Fubu hockey jersey.

I don’t know who the hell Leighton Meister is and I would rather not Google her after this. Good day!

Squint your eyes ever so gently and get you an additional  piece of these god awful get ups after the jump.

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