Archive for the 'Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor' Category

Mechanical Dummy Heartaches + Flicks From His First Day of Community Service

Posted by J. Cooper on September 16, 2009

Chris Brown

Twitter is a trap house. A place where anyone can become famous and where the famous expose too much of themselves on a daily basis. This very logic even applies to our favorite magical beaver, Chris Brown. Feeling alone and yearning for the Barbadian’s touch, Mechanical Dummy [the jokes right themselves] tweeted about his feelings and linked to a fan-made youtube vid featuring pics of him and his ex-island gal pal.

More flicks of Chris fulfilling his community service order after the jump!

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How Dreadful, It's Cold In These Parking Lots, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor |

Crunkland Submitted Fuckery: Brother Franklin Dukes The Devil

Posted by Fresh on July 2, 2009

Hey Fresh,

I know that like me, you are an avid fan of Dlisted! I thought you should know about the “Hot Slut of the Day” from a day or so ago, Brother Franklin. Apparently he is becoming famous in Houston for dancing during offering time at church. I have posted a link below because words dont do him justice. My fave part is at the 44 seond mark.

- – Sasha

Bitch You See Me, Dance Dance Revolution, Duke The Devil, Killin' You Hoes, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, My Personal Obama |

Be Careful For What You Ask For

Posted by Fresh on May 28, 2009

When Spectacular [or Sexy Spec if you like nuts with your honey] from Pretty Ricky sent out the zest-filled request for his male R&B counterparts to submit their freakiest moves he probably had no idea that Keith From Up Da Block would eliminate them all with one calculated belly roll.

This my friends couldn’t wait until tomorrow! Friday Fuckery is too much of a sacred cow to have this shit associated with it. Curse Nova Slim and The House of Soul Bounce for subjecting us all to this!

And I Don't Need A Label For This Shit, Bitch You See Me, Men With Titties, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, My Personal Obama |

Your Daily Tang Multivitamin

Posted by Fresh on May 22, 2009

Rip-roaring-pearl-grabbing-tangtastical game proper. Thanks Dev for bringing Keisha in my life this afternoon.

A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, Tang Game Proper |

The “Don’t Make Me Chris Brown Yo’ Ass” Side-Eye

Posted by Fresh on May 12, 2009

Bitch, What?

Hey Fresh,

I have not submitted side-eye action in quite some time, but I ran across this photo of Demi and Ashton at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner and had to share. This side eye has ME nervous. I’m sure Demi “Chris-Browned” Ashton when they got home.

- – Quick [From The House of Quick's Catch-Up, get you a piece]

A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, Ante Up!, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, Side Eye Deluxe, The Bitch Said What? |

Here Just For The Fuckery

Posted by Fresh on May 8, 2009

Heaven I need a hug. Times like this I feel completely inadequate and unqualified to be a distributor of fuckery. I can’t believe I almost let this one slip past!

Paula Abdul’s performance of her new song “Here Just For The Music” on American Idol this past week was nothing short of illustrious. The overtly terrible lip-syncing, awkward choreography, and my own burning desire for her to topple off stage and completely bust her shit made my soul sore to new heights. And the deep breathing at the end, oh the deep breathing. Astounding! I sound the same way when I vacuum out my car on a hot day.

A Man Down - Code 10 Affair, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, Shouldn't You Be In A Rehab Facility? |

Cigs, Guns, Clips, Bullets, Patron And Magnums

Posted by Fresh on April 30, 2009

Cousin Lola

The rising temperatures we have been experiencing here in the South is nothing compared to the heat seeping from Cousin Lola’s tangueray area. Where is Ving Rhames to break guns and butter down for us again? Why is her right titty telling the left fuck the other side? I got so many questions, ah well. Get you a piece, whore!

Ante Up!, Come And Get Your Cousins Please, Duke The Devil, Get Like Me, I Be Shittin' On You Hoe, I Can Do All Things Through Yaki That Strengthens Me, I'm Just Here For The Free Fingerfoods, Moses Come Help Me Get Up Off This Floor, My Personal Obama, We Do This For The Hood, Whores For Propaganda |
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