Polow Picture Via Pop Culture Fix

Fresh: The King of the White Girls fell the fuck off.

Youngsinick: He’s even fatter than he was the last time I saw him out in LA. Damn, now I feel bad about eating that Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.

Fresh: D’Angelo Diet. This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

Youngsinick: Or wheeze for air as their heart gives out. Sometimes the biggest piece of chicken should be left for the skinny bitch.

Fresh: And there you have it.

Youngsinick: Why does he look like Pumba from The Lion King?

Fresh: His bottom row of teeth distracting me from noticing that, but I can see it.

Youngsinick: Well, since my bottom row teeth  are about as straight as my sexuality, I can’t go too hard on him. However, I have student loans. He doesn’t. He needs to rewind that grill back.

Fresh: Its a sad day at Abercrombie & Fitch.

Youngsinick: You would think one of those white girls would put him on the coke diet. Where is Plies to make sense of this? It’s gimme that Becky, not that pork chop.

WATCH POLOW’S SWEET DANCE MOVES IN RICH BOY’S “GOOD THINGS” VIDEO

This post is one of the rare occasions where tittay gravy being splashed all over the screen won’t result in the head of the IT department calling you into their office for a talk about work appropriate websites. Appreciate it while you can.

Double Fist Pump: Freddy O

And the “Run This Town” parodies just keep coming and coming. This time a Faux Bawse takes a jab at Mr. Make It Rain With Monopoly Money. The tittay gravy game is extremely proper.

I have been trying to figure out what purpose Sean Kingston serves in the music world for a minute now  . . . and still haven’t come up with anything but when I do you will be the first person to know. Until then let’s sit here and daydream about his succulent tittay gravy and those chocolate paws of his.

A felony suspect who tipped the scale at more than 500 pounds carried an unloaded 9mm pistol into city and county jails beneath flabs of his skin even though law enforcement officers repeatedly searched him, authorities said Thursday.

George Vera, 25, was released on $10,000 bail after being charged with possessing or selling unlabeled recordings and possession of a firearm in a correctional facility. Harris County District Attorney’s spokeswoman Donna Hawkins said both charges are third-degree felonies, punishable by two to 10 years in prison upon conviction.

Police arrested Vera on Sunday after he was spotted selling apparently bootlegged compact discs out of the back of a sport utility vehicle parked at Hollister and Pitner, Hawkins said.

Police spokesman Victor Senties said Vera was searched three times by police personnel: once at the scene, again, more thoroughly, when he arrived at the city jail, and a final time before he was transferred to the Harris County Jail.

Vera was subjected to an additional search at the county lockup. City and county law enforcement spokespeople said inmates at both the city and county jails are not required to pass through a metal detector or undergo wand searches. [source]

This is no beautiful nightmare that you will soon wake up from. Fantasies of caressing and squeezing enough tittay gravy from Bruce Bruce’s supple breasts to replace the chicken stock in Rachel Ray’s chicken and dumpling recipe have surely entered your mind by now so I won’t judge you for sitting at your desk with afternoon wood or panty pudding. Here he is with DeRay Davis backstage at the Comedic Stimulus Package [speak Lord, speak to me] over the weekend.

With shows like Daddy’s Girls and Brooke’s Knows Best, Hollywood’s obsession with pretty young things with money seem to have hit an all time high. But fret not, that obsession has not hit its apex, not until this show premieres. This pilot, starring Aaron Reid, the son of L.A. Reid [who didn’t like Janet’s album and made her leave Def Jam. The kids will never forgive him] and Pebbles [who stole all of TLC’s money. That VH1 documentary was so enlightening] who moves to L.A. with a group of friends that he refers to as the “Black Entourage” [who wants to be Entourage anyway, that show lost its “It” factor two seasons ago] to begin a career in the music business “without” the help of his famous father. [Yes I see the hypocrisy, address it in The Bocks]

He’s really trying people. I mean although his ass got thrown under the 18-wheeler [yall know that boy too big for a bus, come on] by Complex for some weak ass blog, like the little [HA!] engine that could, he keeps on trucking. I won’t watch this trash, but maybe there is someone out in Crunkland that will enjoy this fuckery. Peep the vid. Skeet or delete?

[P.S. Now I know why TLC loss all that money. Pebbles was trying to feed his ass.]